AIBU to think fitting homework in is so hard?

When mine were in primary, I got frustrated with the substantial amount of homework set. So I made sure the kids did it, but sent them in with some pieces of cloth, buttons and sewing needles, and a note saying that as the school required me to do school work at home, I was sure they’d be happy for the kids to do things I wanted them to learn in school time. I’d been planning to teach them how to sew on a button, but didn’t have time because they had so much compulsory homework. Please would the teacher make sure they sewed the buttons to the cloth before I picked them up at home time.

The school got the message and stopped compulsory homework.

Same

we have ttrs reading spelling maths

we do 5mins on each after a snack and then allowed to play /ipad /trampoline etc after

as I’ve always done this It’s generally not argued with as they are the rules

I don’t get why people say they can’t find the time.

And as get older they do it theirselves

but in r&1 it’s important to help them learn to read /spell etc

@purpletick . I think mornings are fine if you're organised and can fit it in. We're not good with mornings here and usually have enough to contend with to get out of the house and to school/nursery on time. So after school works better, as we're already "on the go". The key for us is doing everything (homework, chores etc.) while we're "on the go", as we find it difficult (not just the kids but also me) to switch between "on the go" and "relax" mode, as it were (I have ADHD and suspect my older one does as well). So it's easier just to keep going and eat the frog rather than stop and then have to find the motivation to get started again.

We always used to read in the morning. DS1 in particular was just in no fit state after school (and often after after-school club). After school reading was a battle and miserable. Before school it was straightforward and no fuss. I didn’t want reading to be a battle. He was also a naturally early riser so even with breakfast club and a nursery run we could find time in the mornings. Mornings were naturally a good time for him and still are (he’s 13 now and gets up at 6.15 to do his homework because he’s worked out that he works much better then than after school).

So I’d absolutely do it before school if that works for you. It’s a question of how you build it into your routine, but of course that depends on what your mornings look like/when your DC get up etc.

School reading books are incredibly boring. I obviously didn these with my children but it was excruciating for us all.

What helped developed more of an interest in reading was getting talking stories and accompanying books. I actually got a little CD player and bought Julia Donaldson books with CDs and the child can "read" along and turn the pages. Now they're older they listen to chapter books on audible and follow along. Or listen first, read later.

I'm not saying this should replace what you already do but it takes the pressure off and is relaxing for the child.

My eldest is in reception and I have 2 year old twins, so I feel your pain!

I dont get home from work til 6 so we also struggle for time. When she’s not game for reading at bedtime I quite often suggest we read a word each until we’ve finished the book, and she quite likes that!

The OP was initially talking about homework, not just reading. And then another poster was talking about getting them into a routine as early as possible.

I don’t read with her anymore, no. She’s a teenager sitting GCSEs and a voracious reader. She’s also ND.

She is educated in a language I don’t speak fluently and DH doesn’t speak at all which is quite common here. As a result schools don’t expect parents to do much outside of school. We both read English books with her and I would read Welsh books with her when she was very young. But WM schools are based on immersion and play in KS1 so less focus on getting tiny kids to be doing homework at all.

Yes, we pretty much always divided up at bedtime; I’d take one and DH took the other and whoever had the school age ones would listen to them read a few pages, then we’d read to them. Way harder with one person looking after two, though I know people do it.

We do straight after dinner, that way they’ve wound down after school, not hungry etc and not too tired. Then they have a tiny treat and the rest of the evening is their own.

I'll be honest while I usually had help from DH there were a few occasions where I was on my own and the younger one was being so difficult so I resorted to shutting myself in a room with the older one and the book.

So he's home at 340. Drink, snack, play. Etc.

Do you have evening meal together as a family? Do you have a DP?

I'm guessing almost 3 hours before you start bedtime routine. What do you all do in that time?

Can the toddler do some colouring or something at the table while DS reads to you. It's literally 5 minutes. Maybe when toddler is in the bath, can you sit together next to them while DS reads?

I used to use chalk boards so my youngest could draw and oldest do spellings. White boards were not as good as ink/ pens got everywhere

I used to find it challenging but the best thing was to get into a routine as others have said.

Everyone has different ideas and obviously children's behaviours are different but what worked for me was:
Home, change out of uniform, homework, tea, play or TV time bath, ( or cubs) bed time story. Then me or dh would pack what is needed for the next day.

Of course there were days when that pattern failed but we were consistent with it as much as possible and the kids got used to it.
Me and dh tried to be organised in advanced, eg any chores were out of the way, rea prepped as much as possible and so on.
It made life easier everyone knowing what was going to happen when.

I've worked with families through children's services and those that are chaotic often have no routine, no idea what the expectations everyone has of each other and every one ends up flustered and disorganised.

OP we struggle a bit with it too. We try to do it straight after dinner, before bedtime starts so they're not hungry and not too tired but it's never ideal.

As they have grown it's become easier in that they can stay up later and have more stamina.

But in some ways it's harder as they have more independent social lives, most days they're playing with mates from end of school to dinner time and we can't in good conscience make them come straight home to do their reading practice and miss out when everyone's going round Lucy's house after school. And sometimes they have things going on later so it's too easy to miss a day here and a day there.

Mornings are not the time to be doing reading etc.
After school yes. And bedtime too.

Please do not assume worse is to come OP. Just keep going.

My younger one used to jump all over me and climb into my lap when I was trying to help the older one with reading/homework. She doesn't do that anymore, but still interrupts constantly and is a bit of a pain if we're doing it in the house. She's better out and about, if contained in a buggy/car seat.

Based on your update, I'd do the reading in the car after school with DS in the front seat (obviously not when the car is moving!), and the toddler strapped in the back. Get some toddler sticker books or exciting toys that the toddler only has in the car, to distract them for 10-15 minutes or so. And then DS does the reading, and gets his snack and a 'well done' sticker on the way home.

And then you reach home and it's all out of the way. I think this could become a habit that would make your life a lot easier.

It's not about 'boot camp' but it's about ingraining habits that make everyday life run more smoothly and feel less painful. I am naturally disorganised and lack executive function, so if I find something that naturally works and involves less effort for me, I'm literally cheering aloud.

Yes dd sitting with you might be an option. So get home. Snack/play then sit down together to do reading. My dh learned to read sitting with his mum and year older sibling.

Could DS read to DD so she feels included and doesn’t demand separate attention? I know this may be a bit optimistic at their respective stages!! Or DD has her own book that she “reads” to be like DS… I can see this could only last a minute or two though.

I had the same ages, it was a while ago, trying to remember how I managed! I possibly did rely on Cbeebies a bit 😳

I have 3 girls, we didnt do any homework until the year before they started highschool just to get them used to scheduling it in.

Im much more in favour of a sport or extra circular activity over any homework and think there is no need or use for it until high school age.

We did/do read a book to them every night before bed.

What does your after school look like? Does he get picked up at 3.45 say or does he do after school club ?

are you also fitting in a nursery run? Working?

If he’s home by 4 then in theory there is plenty of time for a snack and some downtime, then homework, then tea and play before bedtime. But it depends what else you are fitting in.

If he’s in wraparound till 6 then I don’t see when it gets done either!!

that's a bit of an over-reaction when it's just about "reading", don't you read with your kids anyway?