I feel proud of not drinking for a night - does that mean I’m an alcoholic

Yeah I think it means you're an alcoholic, although there are different degrees of being dependent on alcohol. It's wild that you'd have to make an effort not to drink for a single day; you've been drinking way too much. Well done for starting to get on top of it.

Sorry to say that this isn’t always the case. I’m in recovery and there are many people (including me) who could grit their teeth through 1 day but would never ever be able to stay stopped.

Alcoholism comes in many different forms.

So glad i found this post tonight. I've also been questioning my drinking habits.

And was wondering if I was slipping towards becoming an alcoholic! Ive had a serious illness followed by a bereavement and all this was an excuse/need to drink.

I will also follow some of the advice given.

I didnt drink the day before yesterday, had a large glass of white wine yesterday and have managed not to drink again today.

Writing it here helps accountability, so thank you. I will certainly look at the apps mentioned.

When I have asked about the 14 units I had a GP tell me that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption. He looked shocked when I said I just had a couple of beers every weekend.

Really well done. I was in your position at the beginning of the year. I caught myself proudly telling my DD (who is grown) that I had gone three days without a drink. I realized that she would often go three weeks without a drink. Then my GP told me that liver function tests were looking dodgy. This was after I deliberately took the test at the end of dry January! That was the wake up call I needed. The NHS app mentioned by a previous poster was great.

I agree with you about not feeling that I am an alcoholic, but I know that drinking every night and needing three cups of coffee in the morning to fix the groggy feeling can’t be a good lifestyle.

So after working with the app I got an all clear. I will still have to work at it.

(and not sure that non alcoholic versions of drinks are that great. A cup of decaf tea works better and does not remind me that I would prefer to be drinking).

Try nosecco (?sp) too. They're all sweet but that ones ok

There's always a reason. It's nearly the weekend, it's only just past the weekend, I've made it to the middle of the week ...

OP distraction is good. Also, you might try "playing it forward" ie playing the tape forward. Scenario one : you drink the wine (because it's Thursday, or because it's Friday, or whatever), you doomscroll, you wake up a bit bleary, shuffle through the day on autopilot, feel tired when you start cooking and hey it's Friday so you might as well fill your glass, Saturday repeat. Total hours of discomfort/self-negotiation/time spent dealing with alcohol intake = 60. Scenario two : you don't drink the wine. By 9 o'clock you've gone off the idea, by ten you're ready for bed and really couldn't be arsed with wine, wake up rested, Friday Saturday repeat. Total hours of discomfort/self-negotiation/time spent dealing with alcohol intake = 6, maximum.

I had a friend who started with having a bit too much to drink that turned into a serious dependence. The worst part was the way she'd lie constantly about her drinking - not just to everyone else but to herself. She absolutely refused to admit she had a problem and would twist around anything anyone said to make out like they were insane and she was the only normal one. Because she wouldn't even countenance the idea that she was overdoing it, it turned into a huge, huge problem.

OP, I think you are so sensible and insightful to notice your drinking has turned into a habit and to be doing something about it. I think you should be really proud of yourself!

Drinking every day is not a good thing but you have realised this so that's a start. If you drink more than the recommended amount you need to cut down.

If cooking after your little one is in bed is a trigger can you try changing your day around? Cook when she is awake and just reheat later? Eat at the same time as she does then something unsexy like a bowl of whetabix for supper (no one associates whetabix with a nice glass of wine).

i was you. finally i quit on 3 jan this year and not drunk since. it is easy now but it was hard at start. you need to reprogram your neural pathways so you have a new association as reward or relaxation now. i used to crave the thought of wine but it was what it represented. i have been on a city break and a holiday and not drunk. i feel i have gained more hours in the day as never have that go slow.

stick with it, it’s worth it.

As I think another poster said, there’s a lot of sugar in wine so to prevent the cravings you need sugar. Maybe a can of coke? Not great for you but better than alcohol and more of a treat than juice, water or a cup of tea

Yeh definitely drive. Also maybe you could text your friend in advance to say that you’re staying off the wine at the moment. That might help with the initial temptation if you know she’s expecting you to not be drinking.

There are many benefits to not drinking. Without a doubt I sleep better and look better, get fewer spots, my skin glows more. Hopefully you may also see these kind of benefits. I like a CBD drink for a wind down sometimes but agree with others that you don’t necessarily need alcohol free equivalents. Good luck.

Gordon's 0 alcohol gin with fever tree cucumber tonic in a big balloon glass with ice, lime and a straw.

Often it's just a habit-I now look forward to the non alcoholic G&T in the evening.

Oh I’ve been there too - the urge goes off me if I get to dinner and haven’t had one.

Mind you I don’t really drink day to day any more (usually only once in a blue moon when out) but when I did it was like this.

See midlife.mentor on insta and see if it resonates

More likely you’ve got undiagnosed adhd!

It’s quite likely that you’ll start telling yourself that “just one drink” wouldn’t be so bad, so do watch out for that and try not to give in to it.

On the other hand, if you do give in then please don’t just give up and think you’ve failed. You just get back up the next day and start over.

You’re doing so well! Can you download one of the sober apps that celebrates every day you get through??

How are you doing tonight OP?

It sounds like it's just a habit you've got into to associate relaxation with wine.

Apparently on average it takes 66 days to form (and undo) habits so it's not surprising that you're still finding it difficult after just a few days.

Do you find the alcohol free drinks helpful? I don't often drink them as I don't think they're ever that good and they me want a proper drink more!