Partner on holiday with a female friend!

oh dear.

I only hope you do not have children, and certainly no son. Poor kids.

I'm flattered but I can assure you, he's not. You think it's only hot active women who men are friends with? Naive is assuming your limited experience is the world view. He'd have had plenty of chances when I was single to try, plenty of times when we've been alone drunk in a city together. Similar for other male friends. Maybe I'm just so hideously disgusting yet fantastic and interesting I'm the only woman a man can be friends with without wanting sex 🙄🙄

There have been women who have had an agenda with my DH but they aren't his close female friends and its pretty damn obvious when this is occuring. DH has shown zero interest shuts it down quickly and sets clear boundaries

This is the key thing, you can always tell when a female friend has an agenda, in my experience. She won't want anything to do with you, doesn't want to socialise with you in the group, doesn't want to acknowledge that you should be his priority not her, pushes boundaries to prove how close they are etc. I've had a lot of experience with that. I wasn't jealous in the slightest, trusted him totally. What a fool I was, some women are real snakes, aswell as the men.

Actually, it's a peaceful way to live. I don't commit to men who have lots of close female friends. I should be his only close female friend.

Edit: I've had these kinds of conversations on here before. When I point out the realities of men and women, biology, and sex, some people take huge exception and they attack the messenger, calling me all sorts, as here.

But I'm just pointing out the basic truths of life. I'm guessing some people shoot the messenger because they would prefer to believe that we've been socialised out of all our primal urges. Well, we haven't. They pulse just below the surface. In men, anyway.

It's an uncomfortable truth.

My OH would probably be OK with a mutual female friend of "the boys" or a wider mixed trip with a shared apartment.

But I know others are uneasy about interaction between their DP and 'other women' as firends.

The clincher here though is the lies.

But I suspect she may have some issues around men and needs their admiration.

the bitterness and jealousy is strong on that one 😂

But don't worry, we know. You feel threatened by other women. It must be a sad way to live.

Sorry for me 🤣 Men are absolute horn-dogs whose main motivation in being close to a woman is to get his leg over. Have you not seen all the stories on here of women who were devastated when their trusted close male friend tried to get it on with them??

Absolutely. Men and women are allowed opposite sex friends while in romantic relationships. It’s very silly and controlling to suggest otherwise. The issue here is the lying.

The issue isn’t that he has a female friend who went on a group holiday. It’s that he’s lied to you multiple times . You did the right thing to end it. But you also need to work out if he lied to try to protect himself because you struggle with unreasonable jealousy or because he’s a shit bag who didn’t want you to know he’s got other options on the go

🤣🤣 I was pretty irresistible in my younger day! I could NOT have a male friendship without them wanting more. Nowadays I'm old and fat. Problem solved!

A lot of these responses aren’t very helpful for the OP as they’re from women who belong to mature mixed sex friendship groups.

The OP has a boxer boyfriend, who goes on “lads” holidays, who invited a woman who was draped all over him giving him kisses after his match to put on her socials. He’s realised this woman is plastering pictures all over her social media and so has admitted to OP she’s joined the holiday.

The relationship between OPs boyfriend and this woman isn’t based on discussion of politics, music, shared hobbies etc.

She’s a pick me who is flirting with him and I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up doing more than flirting, with the alcohol, holiday vibes, and now OP has made it very easy for them to do so by dumping him.

OPs situation is unique and can’t be easily compared to some others described on here.

I genuinely feel sorry for you if you have such a reductive view of humanity.

Anyway who wants all their friends to be the same?

Men and women are not the same. The extent to which men are sex-driven is alien to most women.

I literally just said she probably doesn't want anything sexual with any of the men.

It's more the men I don't trust.

But I suspect she may have some issues around men and needs their admiration.

Indeed!

Why would I want three female friends when I already have some male friends?

(Do you see how ridiculous that is?)

@NameChangeMay2026 I have had friendships with men who've wanted more and friendships with men that are just that. Friendships.

I think you're massively over generalising.

Or maybe you're just so bloody irresistible that men can't help falling in love (or lust?) with you.

I think when you're married, and if your DH's female friend quickly becomes yours too, it's different. My exDH had a close female friend and she and I quickly became tight. My experiences of male friends wanting more were when I was single. But I do think your closest male friend, when married, should be your husband.

And no friends at all for the bisexuals!

It's not the truth, and it's your bitterness or jealousy that is talking.

We don't need "the patriarchy" to bring us down, when according to women like you, the rest of us are either cheap sex-addict or stupidly naive. Charming.

Well, the trouble is, you see, that biology hasn't kept up with politics.

Not men's biology, anyway.

Maybe the friends you have picked have been like this but that's not my experience or many other women's.

I have 3 close male friends my DH has 4 close female friends.

For my friendships neither of us has ever considered the other to be anything but a close friend. Would probably describe it more as a close sibling relationship. We get on brilliantly and with each others spouses. We have known each other for years and have got each other through tough times in the past.

For DH his close female friends stemmed from the same hobby. He definitely doesn't want to get his leg over and vice a versa them. There is no attraction between them they have a high level of trust in each other which is needed for a extreme sport. Its trust, friendship and respect for each other (whilst usually taking the piss too).

There have been women who have had an agenda with my DH but they aren't his close female friends and its pretty damn obvious when this is occuring. DH has shown zero interest shuts it down quickly and sets clear boundaries.

She probably doesn't want to do anything sexual with any of these men. She may be completely oblivious to how sexual most men's minds are.

Woman like me, lol! I deliver the truth, I'm a realist, but many women are totally naive about men. As was I for many decades when younger.

I would have dumped him too.
It's not ok for him to go on holiday with another woman when he's pretended it's a lads holiday. (And probably only said "she might fly out" when he realised there would be pics on socials) No matter how many other blokes are around as a smokescreen. She is a pick me girl. Were you given the chance to go on this holiday? I'm guessing not, cos you're just a partner.
Men and women can be friends but not if a female friend gets access all areas when a wife or girlfriend doesn't, and is kept a secret from them.

It's just you

I am sorry you have such low self-confidence and you see other women as threats and accuse them of god knows what.

If a woman is only surrounded by women like you, surely it makes sense why she needs male friends

OP, sounds like you have made the right decision.
He's a liar.