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AIBU to think some people on here are way too obsessed with not being seen as racist?

335 replies

BadWordlePlayer · 02/06/2026 08:49

I’m posting in AIBU because this has been niggling at me for a while with the tone of so many threads lately, but it's really blown up following the bodycam footage of the Henry Nowak case.

There seem to be loads of posts these days where people are basically showing off how not racist they are, or how much they hate racists or the 'far right', or jumping in to call something racist at the slightest thing. It feels performative, like they’re desperate to signal their virtue and make sure everyone knows they’re on the “right” side. I get that racism is bad, obviously, but it sometimes feels like it’s taken over to the point where common sense goes out the window.

Henry Nowak shows how dangerous this mindset is. This poor 18-year-old student was stabbed multiple times by Vickrum Digwa, who then lied to the police claiming Henry had racially abused him. The officers took that accusation at face value, handcuffed Henry while he was lying there bleeding out and saying he couldn’t breathe, and didn’t treat him as the victim urgently enough. He died in police custody essentially. The mindset of those officers sounds exactly like the over-the-top “must not be perceived as racist” attitude you see in some threads here. They sidelined a dying boy because of a racism claim (which turned out to be a complete lie). That’s not just sad — it’s dangerous.

This isn't a left wing / right wing post and I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist or that we shouldn’t call it out when it’s real. I also hate the phrase "virtue signalling", but I can't think of a better one than it. This constant virtue-signalling and knee-jerk reactions make situations like Henry’s more likely, not less. People (including police) become so paralysed by the fear of getting it wrong on race that they get it horrifically wrong on everything else.

Am I being unreasonable? Or has anyone else noticed this shift on MN and in general?

OP posts:
Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 21:29

JHound · 02/06/2026 20:48

So you expect men to protest VAWG?

Of course.

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 21:29

JHound · 02/06/2026 20:50

No actually there have been many instances where the killers words / behaviour / actions have provided reason for motive. We don’t
have that here. You are presuming he chose his excuse before he murdered somebody? Rather than as an after the fact excuse. Also the victim did not have to be white for him to make that claim. He could easily be black, East Asian, British Pakistani etc.

Edited

I find it quite incredible that you’re here desperately scrabbling for excuses to exonerate a murderer from their racism. I think it’s time for you to step back and look at where you have ended up.

JHound · 02/06/2026 20:50

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 20:15

Everything is an assumption in these cases because in very few do the killers loudly proclaim they murdered somebody on account of their race. But the fabrication given afterwards speaks volumes - he knew that he would kill somebody, he know the cover up would be ‘they were racist’, therefore his victim had to be white.

No actually there have been many instances where the killers words / behaviour / actions have provided reason for motive. We don’t
have that here. You are presuming he chose his excuse before he murdered somebody? Rather than as an after the fact excuse. Also the victim did not have to be white for him to make that claim. He could easily be black, East Asian, British Pakistani etc.

JHound · 02/06/2026 20:48

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 20:26

And I wasn’t talking about you was I? You just assumed I was. And no, I don’t expect all ‘brown’ as you put it, people to be out protesting. I would like to see proper displays of condemnation from ANY community whose members have committed unspeakable crimes. Mine did; and I have never sought to underplay it, cover it up, ‘what about..’ or anything else. Full condemnation and disgust and I turned my back on most of it. So you can’t say I don’t practice as I preach. Now it’s everyone else’s turn.

So you expect men to protest VAWG?

JHound · 02/06/2026 20:46

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 20:14

Ideally I would like to see as many marches and online displays of concern about members of those communities as I do about Palestine and similar. Everyone seems to have no problems mobilising for Palestine but I doubt there will be widespread marches of disgust by community members regarding the grooming gangs, for instance. I would absolutely expect it from white Brits if the situation was reversed. And actually many white Brits do mobilise against racism, so you can’t say ‘nobody else is expected to do this’

This is hilarious. Marched to protest….a convicted murderer who has been tried,
convicted and sentences?

And that’s comparable to protesting ongoing actions of a government that is supported by our government.

What a hoot!

(There many white British child abuse gangs and I have never seen white people protest that. Nor do I expect to.)

MaturingCheeseball · 02/06/2026 20:44

anotherside · 02/06/2026 19:42

I’m sure voting for the guy who spent his formative years chanting Hitler Youth songs is the best way to bring the UK together.

Although many on the left think being against Jews is just fine and dandy…

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 20:26

JaneFondue · 02/06/2026 20:23

Did men walk when Sarah Everard was murdered? Or the Hunt family?

Personally I avoid all marches these days. They get violent.

It's quite baffling that you expect all brown people to be out protesting. I am neither Muslim nor Pakistani.

And I wasn’t talking about you was I? You just assumed I was. And no, I don’t expect all ‘brown’ as you put it, people to be out protesting. I would like to see proper displays of condemnation from ANY community whose members have committed unspeakable crimes. Mine did; and I have never sought to underplay it, cover it up, ‘what about..’ or anything else. Full condemnation and disgust and I turned my back on most of it. So you can’t say I don’t practice as I preach. Now it’s everyone else’s turn.

OonaStubbs · 02/06/2026 20:25

30mins · 02/06/2026 20:13

I have noticed both IRL and MN that it depends who and what race is being targeted. The horrible things said about Travellers is often overlooked and reinforced.

Nobody cares about Travellers as a race. Travellers that have abandoned that lifestyle, and live settled, law-abiding lives are not discriminated against. Travellers that travel the land, breaking law after law as they go and leaving mess and destruction behind, quite rightly, are not particularly liked or welcome.

JaneFondue · 02/06/2026 20:23

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 20:14

Ideally I would like to see as many marches and online displays of concern about members of those communities as I do about Palestine and similar. Everyone seems to have no problems mobilising for Palestine but I doubt there will be widespread marches of disgust by community members regarding the grooming gangs, for instance. I would absolutely expect it from white Brits if the situation was reversed. And actually many white Brits do mobilise against racism, so you can’t say ‘nobody else is expected to do this’

Did men walk when Sarah Everard was murdered? Or the Hunt family?

Personally I avoid all marches these days. They get violent.

It's quite baffling that you expect all brown people to be out protesting. I am neither Muslim nor Pakistani.

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 20:15

JHound · 02/06/2026 20:01

But the events have spoken have the? They have provided zero evidence. You can assume that he was killed because he was white. But it's just an assumption without further evidence.

Everything is an assumption in these cases because in very few do the killers loudly proclaim they murdered somebody on account of their race. But the fabrication given afterwards speaks volumes - he knew that he would kill somebody, he know the cover up would be ‘they were racist’, therefore his victim had to be white.

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 20:14

JaneFondue · 02/06/2026 20:10

How do you want me to stand up and be counted exactly?

Ideally I would like to see as many marches and online displays of concern about members of those communities as I do about Palestine and similar. Everyone seems to have no problems mobilising for Palestine but I doubt there will be widespread marches of disgust by community members regarding the grooming gangs, for instance. I would absolutely expect it from white Brits if the situation was reversed. And actually many white Brits do mobilise against racism, so you can’t say ‘nobody else is expected to do this’

30mins · 02/06/2026 20:13

I have noticed both IRL and MN that it depends who and what race is being targeted. The horrible things said about Travellers is often overlooked and reinforced.

JaneFondue · 02/06/2026 20:10

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 19:29

Then we need them to stand up and be counted, and say ‘not in my name’ as we do when the UK looks set to wage another war or a Stephen Lawrence type case happens. It isn’t enough to be quietly and privately disgusted, we need big shows of support. And many religions need to stop paying lip service to this and actually demonstrate it.

How do you want me to stand up and be counted exactly?

SerafinasGoose · 02/06/2026 20:02

The problem is that politics shift. Some forms of racism are seen as decidedly more palatable than others when expedient.

In most instances I'm fairly impervious to others' opinions of me, but I have no wish to be seen as racist. More importantly, from the viewpoint of my own conscience, I have no wish to BE racist.

To fuck up is to be human, and if I do that I will apologise. But I'm always suspicious of the 'it couldn't happen here' line of defence. My employer, which some would doubtless call 'woke', did this when one of their staff was racially profiled. Rather than saying 'that's unacceptable, we'll deal with it', they immediately denied that such a thing could ever happen in their pristine instititution because the optics were bad for them. They were more concerned with their public image than the wellbeing of their staff.

All the while, they were waving 'Allies' flags everywhere.

The 'that never happens' line of defence is suspicious no matter where it's trotted out. Because we all know that it does.

JHound · 02/06/2026 20:01

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 19:59

We don’t know why anyone selects their victims unless they explicitly state why. But the events speak for themselves.

But the events have spoken have the? They have provided zero evidence. You can assume that he was killed because he was white. But it's just an assumption without further evidence.

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 19:59

JHound · 02/06/2026 19:57

Where did you read Digwa selected him as a victim because he was white?

We don’t know why anyone selects their victims unless they explicitly state why. But the events speak for themselves.

JHound · 02/06/2026 19:59

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 19:43

Well we could ask the same about Stephen’s killers. Would they simply have hurled obscenities at anyone else and done the unthinkable? I doubt it. What we know is that they both killed somebody, and they made it about race at the time.

But we have the evidence of their racial abuse and racist background don't we? We may yet get that for Digwa but we have not to date.

JHound · 02/06/2026 19:57

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 19:33

I know that crimes taking place between people from different ethnicities doesn’t make it a race driven crime. Most of the time it won’t be.

But this was, because the victim was selected on the basis of being white and therefore able to ‘support’ his evil untrue ‘defence’.

Where did you read Digwa selected him as a victim because he was white?

JHound · 02/06/2026 19:55

hopeidontforgetthisusername · 02/06/2026 19:33

There are certain similarities because it was someone who was arrested and died in police custody - not exactly the same, I agree. But two people who died and were not listened to whilst in police custody.

Well no - one died due to police inaction (I assume he could have been saved), one was murdered by police and it took protests and video evidence for investigators to bother to investigate.

It's not "Not exactly the same". It's not remotely the same. I mean yes the police were present. But that's the only similarity.

LuckyHazelFox · 02/06/2026 19:52

OonaStubbs · 02/06/2026 19:47

The police need to go back to basics and stick to fighting crime instead of trying to be social workers or sociologists.

That all came about when their ethos moved from force to a service. Other European police forces must be laughing at us.

hopeidontforgetthisusername · 02/06/2026 19:52

Dweetfidilove · 02/06/2026 19:42

One was murdered; dying in police custody because he wasn't listened to.

One was murdered by the police who whilst he was 'in custody', proceeded to literally squeeze the life out of him.

If police presence is your common denominator, yes, police was present at some point at each incident.

They are otherwise incomparable, and trying to make them so is dunce at best, sickening at worst.

And I am entitled to make what comparisons I want to. You carry on with your personal insults, the irony that you try to make such comments from your high horse.

SleeplessInWherever · 02/06/2026 19:50

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 19:43

Well we could ask the same about Stephen’s killers. Would they simply have hurled obscenities at anyone else and done the unthinkable? I doubt it. What we know is that they both killed somebody, and they made it about race at the time.

Well.

We couldn’t, because we know from evidence that Stephen Lawrence’s killers used racially aggravated language towards him (including insults that started with the word “black..” and the n word) during the attack.

And we don’t know similar happened here.

You’re assuming it did. Which is different.

I’m absolutely not disputing the obviously disgusting behaviour of the murderer, and his family, but you can’t call it racially aggravated murder unless you know it is.

Which you don’t.

OonaStubbs · 02/06/2026 19:47

The police need to go back to basics and stick to fighting crime instead of trying to be social workers or sociologists.

Twisterlollies · 02/06/2026 19:44

user1471453601 · 02/06/2026 19:43

I see quite the opposite recently on this forum.

More and more I am seeing posts which dog whistle racism and in some cases are quite blatantly racist.

I think that There's enough awful things going on in this world at present without adding a tiny bit more hate and anger via a web site.

By and large I try to avoid subjects that spread hate and distrust.

I never condone racism but are people allowed to be angry? Isn’t this a human reaction to a terrible crime where authorities have badly let down the victim? I don’t like this framing ANY reaction or blame or questioning as ‘hate and anger’ that is somehow unjustified.

LuckyHazelFox · 02/06/2026 19:44

anotherside · 02/06/2026 19:42

I’m sure voting for the guy who spent his formative years chanting Hitler Youth songs is the best way to bring the UK together.

Or voting for the anti-semitic Green party as an alternative. Which many MNetters admit to.