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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think some people on here are way too obsessed with not being seen as racist?

335 replies

BadWordlePlayer · 02/06/2026 08:49

I’m posting in AIBU because this has been niggling at me for a while with the tone of so many threads lately, but it's really blown up following the bodycam footage of the Henry Nowak case.

There seem to be loads of posts these days where people are basically showing off how not racist they are, or how much they hate racists or the 'far right', or jumping in to call something racist at the slightest thing. It feels performative, like they’re desperate to signal their virtue and make sure everyone knows they’re on the “right” side. I get that racism is bad, obviously, but it sometimes feels like it’s taken over to the point where common sense goes out the window.

Henry Nowak shows how dangerous this mindset is. This poor 18-year-old student was stabbed multiple times by Vickrum Digwa, who then lied to the police claiming Henry had racially abused him. The officers took that accusation at face value, handcuffed Henry while he was lying there bleeding out and saying he couldn’t breathe, and didn’t treat him as the victim urgently enough. He died in police custody essentially. The mindset of those officers sounds exactly like the over-the-top “must not be perceived as racist” attitude you see in some threads here. They sidelined a dying boy because of a racism claim (which turned out to be a complete lie). That’s not just sad — it’s dangerous.

This isn't a left wing / right wing post and I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist or that we shouldn’t call it out when it’s real. I also hate the phrase "virtue signalling", but I can't think of a better one than it. This constant virtue-signalling and knee-jerk reactions make situations like Henry’s more likely, not less. People (including police) become so paralysed by the fear of getting it wrong on race that they get it horrifically wrong on everything else.

Am I being unreasonable? Or has anyone else noticed this shift on MN and in general?

OP posts:
BadWordlePlayer · 02/06/2026 09:32

Teethyblinders · 02/06/2026 09:14

Have you seen the thread where someone moved to a “nice” (their words) white town and is now complaining about the lack of diversity?

Why don’t they move to somewhere more diverse then?

That was the thread that inspired me to write this post.

It's interesting to note that the vote is 3:1 in agreement with me so far but the majority of comments so far are disagreeing with me.

I suspect there's a silent majority on Mumsnet who have a different opinion to what we see predominantly written in many of the threads. Maybe they're too busy with life to post comments, or too weary of being called racist or transphobic or far right?

OP posts:
Moskau · 02/06/2026 09:16

Most of the sikhs I know are nice people. They have good food, good music and are all nice to be around.

Greenwitchart · 02/06/2026 09:16

Racism is never OK. Just like xenophobia, sexism and homophobia are not OK.

Do you find that hard to understand?

You can have a discussion about immigration by the way without the need to attack/hate people simply because they are not white.

OneTealShaker · 02/06/2026 09:15

Rochdale grooming gangs are an example of this.

The woke brigade has nothing to help race relations. If anything their virtue signalling obsession with victimhood has made things worse for people from
minorities.

Remember, when taking the knee was fashionable. Utter madness. Anyone who jumps up and down about being anti racist is a bit unhinged and an attention seeker. These people have no real value to add to anyone or themselves, so the must pretend that the are morally superior to everyone else.

The police and institutions are totally captured. When the police are more interested in turning up to pride marches and arresting people for ‘non crime’ hate incidents, just imagine….arresting people for NOT committing a crime, you know that the world has gone mad.

While stab victims are being handcuffed and arrested and young rape victims are being criminalized.

Sskka · 02/06/2026 09:14

Brenzaida · 02/06/2026 09:09

By your logic, everyone should go back to old-fashioned racism so the police would have correctly arrested the brown guy in the turban first in this incident?

Hardly, and yet it would have produced a better outcome than anti-racism did. That should prompt some serious thought.

To answer the OP, there was a shift towards doing absolutely anything so long as it didn’t make you look racist, but it wasn’t on here and it happened about ten years ago. If you see more of it on mumsnet these days, it’s because mumsnet is slow in catching up.

Teethyblinders · 02/06/2026 09:14

Have you seen the thread where someone moved to a “nice” (their words) white town and is now complaining about the lack of diversity?

Why don’t they move to somewhere more diverse then?

GoodkneeBadKnee · 02/06/2026 09:11

I think a lot of posters on here positively revel in saying racist stuff. It's a great time to be a racist. Very en vogue, and actively encouraged.

Brenzaida · 02/06/2026 09:09

By your logic, everyone should go back to old-fashioned racism so the police would have correctly arrested the brown guy in the turban first in this incident?

BusyExpert · 02/06/2026 09:06

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AmethystDeceiver · 02/06/2026 08:55

These 'people on here' threads are always hard to respond to, because without concrete examples no one can agree or disagree.

Have people noticed a move away from racism on MN? Dunno, I never experienced it as racist in th first place.

Have people noticed a swing towards xenophobia here? Yes, I have. But that's not what you're asking.

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