AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

OP Ignore 99% of what people are saying on this thread. Your dress will be great at the wedding. It's super pretty and it looks good on you. I was recently shamed into buying a very expensive dress for a wedding when I'd been planning to wear something less formal that I already had, that I preferred, and that no one at the wedding would have seen before. Arg! Nix the white dress for the DD, but get her something lovely and shiny that she'll be excited to wear. Have a wonderful time.

It isn't hard at all. It's also completely unnecessary when hundreds of dresses exist in that colour palette im wedding guest style because they are completely unremarkable as choices.

It is putting the bride intio a potentially difficult situation to ask her - she might dislike your ideas but find it hard to say so to new family mermber, so make your own decision OP, and make it a colourful one for you and DD. Do you like your DB and new SIL?

Well, no. They're not.

How hard is it to pick a dress that is not white-based? You'd think the minute the invitation arrives all colours of the rainbow vanish from the planet.

No one needs to specify ‘ No White’ on a wedding invitation. I think everyone on the planet knows this already. They have given you suggested colours, pick one of them.

I think we all know that wearing white to a wedding is unacceptable. So why start being picky and saying it is white but there are flowers on it? No. Why can’t you find a dress that is in one of the infinitesimal colours of the spectrum? Same goes for your daughter. You know it’s not right, that’s why you’re asking for opinions. You want to know how much trouble you will be in when you and your daughter turn up. Are you really going to be THAT SIL? Be honest you don’t like who your brother is marrying.

I think not posting your dress is making people suspect it is whiter than it might in fact be. We aren't really sure ...

I can understand the issue with DD. The Monsoon dresses are sweet enough, but I'd want something more special for a family wedding. Maybe the Monsoon sequin one was my favourite?

They’re too bridesmaidy. The monsoon dresses that someone posted are both prettier and more suitable.
The dress you initially posted for yourself looks fine to me, there’s enough colour to make it okay and you can have coloured accessories.
Some of the formal wear suggested would stand out too much at the weddings I have attended, although it depends on the type of wedding.

Deflection noted.

You're awfully mad that opinions about your clothing choices for you and your daughter for your bro's formal evening wedding aren't all that approving.

Why bother asking then? Wear what you want, look like someone who does what they please and screw the bride and groom.

Pp are thinking you are annoyed DD wasn't a flower girl and you are going to dress her as one regardless.

I think white would look like this and some of the more elaborate satiny dresses did come across this way.

And I think some feel yours looks as though you are not making a big effort - but then we haven't actually seen yours. ETA I actually think what you have posted is acceptable.

But in all of this there are happy mediums. The cotton play dresses and floor length gown suggested are as inappropriate in the other directions imo.

Why don't you post your actual dress? You might get a clearer view then.

So much projection.

It looks nothing like that at all. Pastel was a suggestion and we don't know what OP's actual dress main colour is. Formal in a wedding context means to me normal wedding clothes which is what the dress shared is. Nobody in a normal frame of mind reads passive aggression into a 4 year old going to a wedding in a party dress.

A print on a white background is fine. I wore a dress like that but with lillac flowers to a wedding and had a short sleeved lilac jacket, lilack shoes and bag. It looked great.

A toddler wearing white is quite normal for a wedding.

You didn't answer the question though.

It's not a stupid question at all when your choices don't match what's specified in the invite. It looks like you're using your child's dress and yours to make some kind of point and it's not a pleasant one.

I think that dress looks lovely for your dd, @brillfrill. You could put a coloured sash round it with wide ribbon , if you wanted to. And a dress similar to the picture in your OP looks perfect for a wedding guest too.

I don't read that as a white dress at all but don't dress your daughter in white

Personally I wouldn't wear that or have my girl wear white. She wore white when she was actually a flower girl and the dress was chosen by my sil. The dress you've chosen doesn't give wedding guest vibes, especially if it's for your brother

Nothing clearly about it. She's 4. She has ideas of what she wants to wear to a big party (which is all a wedding is to a 4 year old) and there's really nothing either wrong with that or anything in it that suggests any nefarious purpose.

Something a llittle dressier perhaps, depending on the vibe of the wedding and general outlook of DB and fiance. You haven't said what other colour your dress has with the white - is it actually much paler than the orange shown? I can't understand why you would want to wear something that would even raise dress colour as an issue. In general, if you have to ask .. its a no. And a definite No for your DD's dress. Its a bit odd to say the least to plan for her to possibly look like a flower girl.

I do think your daughters dress choices look like bridesmaids dresses.

Agree with this. Always baffles me when you can just wear literally any other colour!

Might be missing something here but what is the point of asking about a dress you plan to wear if there is no picture of that dress, and instead a picture of another only vaguely similar dress that apparently does not even share a similar pattern or colouring. What a run around the houses. Either show it or don't OP or it's as good as pointless, nobody can tell you if it's formal enough or the colour and pattern are acceptable.

All the children's dresses in the images obviously look like they would be part of the bridal party, and most look quite used so unless the child is in the bridal party then they are all a no.

OP, show the actual dress or ask the bride and groom themselves if your choices are ok, this is the only way to get a reliable and accurate answer. I don't think it's anywhere as near as hard as you're making it - you could just go on the NEXT website, type in girls dresses and find dozens of nice and usable options in appropriate styles and colours.

The dress really isn't all that inappropriate as to infer she is unhappy. It is chiffon.

To be honest I think her dress (well what I imagine it to be in the actual colourway) is more appropriate than some of the floor length things suggested for a day time wedding.

And while I don't think she should dress her DD in a fully white/ivory flower girl style dress, the truth is, as another pp said, little girls' formal dresses ARE flower-girly. Some of the suggested dresses posted are just little cotton play dresses suitable for the park or nursery, and I can see why OP wants something special - far from her not being happy about her brother's wedding.

Yes, whatever about OP’s slightly too-casual dress, that child is clearly being done up to be taken for a flower girl in the wedding photos.