Page 8 | AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

brillfrill · 2026-06-02T06:23:54+00:00

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a *picture of a similar dress *on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it. Wondering what you think?

BuildbyNumbere · 02/06/2026 14:50

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 08:58

I better find her something else tbh, can someone suggest suitable options please? my DD doesn’t like pink or red

edit: with options I meant does it have to look a certain way? is it fine for it to be any colour? some people suggested pink but as I said that won’t work

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Lilac?

dreamiesformolly · 02/06/2026 14:47

GreenCandleWax · 02/06/2026 14:20

Perhaps they don't like new SIL. Its coming over that way.

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Speak for yourself. Not all of us are getting that vibe.

BuildbyNumbere · 02/06/2026 14:47

Groobey · 02/06/2026 07:35

Not bridal at all, so it’s fine.

But the dress itself isn’t that nice. I know it’s not the same dress but as sister of the groom, I would think you should wear something nicer.

Meow … think that’s personal taste!

BuildbyNumbere · 02/06/2026 14:46

It’s fine … not really white, has plenty of colour. Likely most people will be in a lighter colour for an August wedding, add some coloured accessories.

mezlou84 · 02/06/2026 14:44

Always ask the bride if it's white or near white. Only the bride knows if she will be offended or not as wearing white to a wedding is an unwritten no no. Some don't mind at all and it isn't a huge swathe of white but you never know. I personally wouldn't have minded but not everyone is me and others could be upset with anything white even as broken up as it is.

Mrsmessyhairdontcare · 02/06/2026 14:43

The pink dress with floral skirt you have pictured looks lovely for your daughter, not flowergirl at all.

Original poster

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 14:39

outerspacepotato · 02/06/2026 14:33

You're the one who brought your problem here of what to wear to the wedding. Own it. I know what to wear to weddings, so not my problem.

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I think there is a big difference between owning that I don’t know a lot about weddings and wedding rules and saying I don’t like that my brother is having a wedding!!!

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dreamiesformolly · 02/06/2026 14:38

DappledThings · 02/06/2026 09:16

It's such a "look at me, I am too cool for rules' attitude. It's usually other guests who completely roll their eyes, it's a bit tragic really
It really isn't. It's a perfectly normal understanding that no white means no completely white and to any sensible person doesn't extend to no white background at all.

Nobody would actually bat an eyelid at that dress because it's entirely inoffensive and if they did they would be the tragic ones. If anyone commented on it I'd be rolling my eyes at them not the wearer of the dress.

Completely agree! Some MNers can be really ridiculous about this so-called rule.

Beerhy · 02/06/2026 14:36

Anxioustealady · 02/06/2026 07:43

Why when you have all the colours in the world to choose from, do people (especially MILs and SILs to be...) suddenly HAVE to wear white? It does feel intentional and I think you should pick something else.

i don’t get it either. It’s really not hard to wear a different colour

Original poster

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 14:36

CombatBarbie · 02/06/2026 14:32

What is the colour theme? Dont wear that colour.

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There is no colour theme

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outerspacepotato · 02/06/2026 14:33

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 13:21

Are you being serious?? Thanks to all the comments in there I’ll change the dress for DD, so CLEARLY the point of asking was to get help and almost everybody said white for DD would be odd!

it’s more split on mine, still a lot of opinions and thoughts being shared. Wtf is your problem?!

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You're the one who brought your problem here of what to wear to the wedding. Own it. I know what to wear to weddings, so not my problem.

CombatBarbie · 02/06/2026 14:32

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 08:58

I better find her something else tbh, can someone suggest suitable options please? my DD doesn’t like pink or red

edit: with options I meant does it have to look a certain way? is it fine for it to be any colour? some people suggested pink but as I said that won’t work

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What is the colour theme? Dont wear that colour.

Original poster

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 14:31

Substance · 02/06/2026 14:25

Apologies! I thought the photo you shared was of you wearing the dress.

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Haha, that makes a lot of sense then, she does look absolutely fabulous!!

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DappledThings · 02/06/2026 14:29

GreenCandleWax · 02/06/2026 14:20

Perhaps they don't like new SIL. Its coming over that way.

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Yeah, it definitely is. That's why when DH's sister wore a mainly white dress to our wedding I was furious and assumed it meant she hated me and was trying to ruin my Big Day.

Or, alternatively I thought nothing of it whatsoever other than she was wearing a nice dress she was happy in given that I'm not a massive twat constantly trying to ascribe malice to ordinary actions

Substance · 02/06/2026 14:25

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 14:11

A bit odd to say it looks good on me, I haven’t posted myself wearing it? Whatever I wear - this dress or a different one - it won’t be expensive. But thank you for sharing your story

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Apologies! I thought the photo you shared was of you wearing the dress.

GreenCandleWax · 02/06/2026 14:20

gindrop · 02/06/2026 14:04

Why are you assuming it's an evening do - most weddings aren't surely?

Nowhere in the OP's posts have I picked up vibes of "screw the bride and groom". If she really wanted to do that why on earth would she be worrying at all about whether her choices are suitable?! Even her own mother (mother of the groom) has approved her choices already so it's not as if they're wildly wrong.

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Perhaps they don't like new SIL. Its coming over that way.

Shufflebumnessie · 02/06/2026 14:17

@brillfrill If I was looking for a dress for my 4 year old DD, I'd probably choose this one from Monsoon. I think it's gorgeous (& it's 50% off too!)
https://www.monsoon.co.uk/dancer-floral-basque-party-dress-multi-55800970020.html

Dancer Floral Basque Party Dress Multi | Girls' Dresses | Monsoon UK.

Shop the Dancer Floral Basque Party Dress Multi from the Girls' Dresses collection at Monsoon UK.

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/dancer-floral-basque-party-dress-multi-55800970020.html

Original poster

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 14:15

gindrop · 02/06/2026 14:04

Why are you assuming it's an evening do - most weddings aren't surely?

Nowhere in the OP's posts have I picked up vibes of "screw the bride and groom". If she really wanted to do that why on earth would she be worrying at all about whether her choices are suitable?! Even her own mother (mother of the groom) has approved her choices already so it's not as if they're wildly wrong.

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Thank you.

It is both day and evening, like most weddings… there is a ceremony, 3 course meal/reception, evening party.

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DappledThings · 02/06/2026 14:13

badfinger · 02/06/2026 14:07

From the number of defensive posts, I am guessing you have worn white to someone's wedding/many weddings...

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Wrong. Other than my own wedding dress, one jumper and school shirts back in the day I've never worn anything white. I personally don't like white or any really pale colours on me.

But I find the concept that women who might not be massively confident in their choices anyway being told to tie themselves in knots and consider anything with a pale background even with a strong floral pattern to be offensive, when it's a totally normal wedding guest dress, to be really unpleasant.

And anyone who looks at a dress like that on someone at a wedding and projects this idea that they must be wearing to make a point to be masiely insecure themselves and trying to bring others down.

viques · 02/06/2026 14:12

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 08:58

I better find her something else tbh, can someone suggest suitable options please? my DD doesn’t like pink or red

edit: with options I meant does it have to look a certain way? is it fine for it to be any colour? some people suggested pink but as I said that won’t work

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My daughter doesn’t like pink or red

Blue, green, peach, yellow, gold, purple, silver, orange, violet……..

HTH.

badfinger · 02/06/2026 14:11

It is very recent that this idea any hint of white is a terrible faux pas has come in.

It's been a terrible faux pas for as long as I've been alive, and I am old as dirt.

Original poster

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 14:11

Substance · 02/06/2026 14:04

OP Ignore 99% of what people are saying on this thread. Your dress will be great at the wedding. It's super pretty and it looks good on you. I was recently shamed into buying a very expensive dress for a wedding when I'd been planning to wear something less formal that I already had, that I preferred, and that no one at the wedding would have seen before. Arg! Nix the white dress for the DD, but get her something lovely and shiny that she'll be excited to wear. Have a wonderful time.

A bit odd to say it looks good on me, I haven’t posted myself wearing it? Whatever I wear - this dress or a different one - it won’t be expensive. But thank you for sharing your story

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badfinger · 02/06/2026 14:07

DappledThings · 02/06/2026 14:05

This kind of wild overreaction and psychological examination of a few very normal dresses is just so weird

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From the number of defensive posts, I am guessing you have worn white to someone's wedding/many weddings...

DappledThings · 02/06/2026 14:05

Dalston · 02/06/2026 13:55

I think we all know that wearing white to a wedding is unacceptable. So why start being picky and saying it is white but there are flowers on it? No. Why can’t you find a dress that is in one of the infinitesimal colours of the spectrum? Same goes for your daughter. You know it’s not right, that’s why you’re asking for opinions. You want to know how much trouble you will be in when you and your daughter turn up. Are you really going to be THAT SIL? Be honest you don’t like who your brother is marrying.

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This kind of wild overreaction and psychological examination of a few very normal dresses is just so weird

gindrop · 02/06/2026 14:04

outerspacepotato · 02/06/2026 13:18

Deflection noted.

You're awfully mad that opinions about your clothing choices for you and your daughter for your bro's formal evening wedding aren't all that approving.

Why bother asking then? Wear what you want, look like someone who does what they please and screw the bride and groom.

Why are you assuming it's an evening do - most weddings aren't surely?

Nowhere in the OP's posts have I picked up vibes of "screw the bride and groom". If she really wanted to do that why on earth would she be worrying at all about whether her choices are suitable?! Even her own mother (mother of the groom) has approved her choices already so it's not as if they're wildly wrong.