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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

487 replies

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 07:23

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
42
Zov · 02/06/2026 16:22

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 02/06/2026 15:21

OP's dress is much nicer (though I'm not sure about mother and daughter white + white combo). The first one is extremely tight/'look at me') and the second one few figure types can carry off.

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They're even worse than the OP's!

andana · 02/06/2026 16:18

They are objectively fine but wouldn’t be my taste, I think they are also a bit dull, sorry, OP.

Wexone · 02/06/2026 16:17

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:16

Thank you!

I’m looking to spend no more than £30-£40 though. £10 for DD.

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Oh right - You can rent starting from 40 pounds

Zov · 02/06/2026 16:17

Anxioustealady · 02/06/2026 07:43

Why when you have all the colours in the world to choose from, do people (especially MILs and SILs to be...) suddenly HAVE to wear white? It does feel intentional and I think you should pick something else.

This! And by the look of the poll result, the majority of posters agree. So many other colours to wear, yet the OP picks something that is largely white. It's pretty much 80% white! (Maybe more!)

As you say, mother-in-laws and sister-in-laws often do this. There is an underlying element of trying to upstage the bride. Even if they don't realise they're doing it. The OP will very likely not admit that this is what she's doing, because she probably doesn't realise it.

@brillfrill Pick another dress! As has been said, it doesn't even look like wedding guest attire, it looks too casual!

And the dress you've got for your daughter is not suitable either. If she's not a flower girl or a bridesmaid, why on earth are you putting her in the dress that you have posted pictures of?!

.

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:16

SomeGarlic · 02/06/2026 16:12

https://www.prettylittlething.com/product/goddiva-floral-printed-flutter-sleeve-chiffon-midi-dress_p-e870a5e7-aedb-4f65-aeab-fac9cd72b3cc

https://www.roman.co.uk/floral-print-hanky-hem-dress-14253664 (only 10 and 12 left)

https://www.roman.co.uk/bardot-floral-tiered-dress-14719838

https://www.roman.co.uk/floral-pleated-neck-midi-dress-14729372

https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/maeve-sleeveless-ruched-babydoll-midi-dress

Also - there's currently loads of Farm Rio on Ebay for around £150, if your style and budget lean that way. They're mostly last season's Anthropolgie stock. Not linking as I've forbidden myself to look!

Thank you!

I’m looking to spend no more than £30-£40 though. £10 for DD.

OP posts:
WildCherryBlossom · 02/06/2026 16:14

Honestly OP, just find something you feel great in and I hope you all enjoy your brother’s wedding. A white or cream background on a patterned dress is fine. (I think that roses one would fit very well with your Sister in Law’s pastel suggestion.)

SomeGarlic · 02/06/2026 16:14

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 15:43

I’ve found some other dresses that i’d like your thoughts on please

Like the blue & white hanky hem.

ByRealOtter · 02/06/2026 16:12

I sent a picture of my intended dress to my SIL before the wedding asking if it was too much. It was white off shoulder dress with flowers all over. She loved it. But I asked first.

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?
Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:12

StartingToday010626 · 02/06/2026 16:10

You can still avoid chiffon when buying second hand. Just because you want to keep costs down, doesn’t mean your dress has to look cheap.

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So it can’t be jersey, cotton, chiffon… what’s left? satin or silk? wool?!

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 16:11

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:02

Unfair and unsubstantiated comment, i’ve already put lots of effort into looking into other dresses both for me and for my DD

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Just ignore. I am not in favour of wearing white to a wedding but those dresses are patently heavily patterned.

DappledThings · 02/06/2026 16:10

The people who look at a dress with a significant multi-coloured pattern on a white background and cry "That's a white desss" are the ones being obtuse.

StartingToday010626 · 02/06/2026 16:10

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:08

Well to be honest the dress will have to be quite cheap… so it’s unavoidable. I can’t spend a fortune on this, it’s not my wedding so I’m getting everything second hand. Don’t think anybody in my family except for the groom is buying anything new clothes wise so I’m already going above and beyond

Edited
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You can still avoid chiffon when buying second hand. Just because you want to keep costs down, doesn’t mean your dress has to look cheap.

Wexone · 02/06/2026 16:10

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 15:43

I’ve found some other dresses that i’d like your thoughts on please

neither for a wedding
try filtering exclude white
if you can't afford to buy new try renting

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:09

Tryagain26 · 02/06/2026 16:04

Its not a white dress though, it's a dress that includes some white. I don't see the issue. Many summer dresses include white or cream and it's not unusual for people to wear them for a summer wedding.

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This is also how I see it

OP posts:
DappledThings · 02/06/2026 16:08

OneCoralGoose · 02/06/2026 15:49

Why do they have to be white. A million other colours you can choose and you want white with print. Just wear what you want be don't come back asking why the bride was cold to you

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They aren't.

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:08

StartingToday010626 · 02/06/2026 16:04

Chiffon dresses look cheap. I’d steer clear of this material for a wedding.

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Well to be honest the dress will have to be quite cheap… so it’s unavoidable. I can’t spend a fortune on this, it’s not my wedding so I’m getting everything second hand. Don’t think anybody in my family except for the groom is buying anything new clothes wise so I’m already going above and beyond

OP posts:
dcthatsme · 02/06/2026 16:07

Shufflebumnessie · 02/06/2026 14:17

@brillfrill If I was looking for a dress for my 4 year old DD, I'd probably choose this one from Monsoon. I think it's gorgeous (& it's 50% off too!)
https://www.monsoon.co.uk/dancer-floral-basque-party-dress-multi-55800970020.html

Edited

Lovely dress. I don’t think it’s inappropriate for a non bridesmaid.

AmberGreenwood · 02/06/2026 16:06

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 15:43

I’ve found some other dresses that i’d like your thoughts on please

Why are you only considering white dresses?! Literally just search for any other colour than white.

It’s pretty widely accepted that you don’t wear white to a wedding. To do so implies that you don’t care enough about the brides feelings to wear a different colour or you actively want to upset her.

The only reasonable excuse would be if you were struggling to afford a new dress and had limited options. However the fact that you have found different potential dresses suggests this isn’t the case - yet they are still white…..

StartingToday010626 · 02/06/2026 16:04

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 15:43

I’ve found some other dresses that i’d like your thoughts on please

Chiffon dresses look cheap. I’d steer clear of this material for a wedding.

Tryagain26 · 02/06/2026 16:04

Anxioustealady · 02/06/2026 07:43

Why when you have all the colours in the world to choose from, do people (especially MILs and SILs to be...) suddenly HAVE to wear white? It does feel intentional and I think you should pick something else.

Its not a white dress though, it's a dress that includes some white. I don't see the issue. Many summer dresses include white or cream and it's not unusual for people to wear them for a summer wedding.

Floppyearedlab · 02/06/2026 16:03

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:02

Unfair and unsubstantiated comment, i’ve already put lots of effort into looking into other dresses both for me and for my DD

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Yet you can't find ANY other colour apart from white. With all the colours there are in the rainbow?

Try harder

PennyPugwash · 02/06/2026 16:02

Fucking hell.
you’re just being obtuse now, OP.

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:02

Floppyearedlab · 02/06/2026 15:56

She’s clearly doing it on purpose now

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Unfair and unsubstantiated comment, i’ve already put lots of effort into looking into other dresses both for me and for my DD

OP posts:
dcthatsme · 02/06/2026 16:01

Don’t think it looks remotely bridal