AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

No of course not because we both know it isn't a thing. However I think there seems to be this crazy obsession now with what female guests are wearing that I don't recall whenI got married 19 years ago.

Do brides really take that much or any notice of what guests wear at their wedding? I've been married twice and I seriously wouldn't have a clue what guests wore. It really was not on my radar either time

It’s bonkers.
Her dress is too informal, her DDs dress is too formal.
When in reality nobody will give a shiny 💩 nor remember what they were wearing.
OP stick with your choices and have a lovely day

They’ve actually specified formal dress…
That doesn’t really fit the brief.
Also you say they’re not having flower girls, which is all the more reason not to dress your little girl as one.

Some of the dresses suggested as more glamorous etc are much more “look at meee “ than the ones OP has suggested but there have been some great suggestions for similar ones without the white background.

I appreciate the OP, and many other people who wear a white patterned dress to a wedding are not necessarily trying to upstage the bride. However, there are a large number of brides who wouldn't like it. If you get on, why would you risk upsetting the bride. We don't know if the bride would be ok or not, and the only way to find out is to ask her, which only OP can do. So she has 3 choices, wear the dress and risk it, ask the bride or her brother if the dress is ok, or find another.

I wouldn't be offended by it, but its not my wedding. Looks like OP is trying other options. For better help, I would start a post on the style section, just say looking for a dress for £30-40 for a family wedding, formal wedding attire, dress size and body shape, and I am sure the wizards there will find lots of options, on vinted or elsewhere!

That one on the right is as white as the OP 😂

I can see you have tried hard to take everything on board and I think those last two work perfectly well.

I think the SIL battle is because the first post came across as "DD is not the flower girl but will wear white and I will wear a white dress with pattern but I'm not showing you how much pattern or what colour." In other words: "I want my DD and I to be in white. Please rubber stamp this."

In fact, I think the last two dresses are really, really not accurately described as white dresses. You can get white dresses with such a faint or fine pattern that the overall effect is white but those are definitely not that.

the DD thing is tricky because little girl dresses veer towards flower girl but when you said white I think many of us thought it was a sort of dress you and DM had bought "for when DD is the flower girl" and you were going to press on and wear it anyway!

Urgh, shitty Shein is never the answer.

It really doesn't. People only interpret completely normal dresses that way if they are determined to judge everyone by their own silly opinions.

Not one of those dresses would make anyone remotely normal think the wearer was doing anything other than wearing a nice and suitable dress.

Going to leave this thread before I either punch the screen or buy half the dresses I keep finding and do not need 🤣

One last suggestion from Roman, OP. It's wedding guest standard, chiffon, meets colour specifications, available in all sizes and reduced to £40.

https://www.roman.co.uk/floral-midi-wrap-dress-14683372

Not in a dress like the OP posted they don't. It's understated and no way would upstage the bridge

I got married in a lilac and silver dress, didn't forbid others from wearing lilac

It's not about upstaging the bride. It's that intentionally flouting not wearing white to a wedding, especially your brother or sons wedding, can be perceived by the bride as a slight.

If you are aware of this, (which OP is, that's why she made the post) and you decide to do it anyway, you're showing you don't care how the bride will potentially feel.

Ah but it isn't the Groom's Big Day. Have you ever heard of the monster Groomzilla? Thought not!

What on earth is going on with this thread? The OP is planning to wear a patterned dress with a white background therefore it is not a white dress!

What is the obsession with thinking every female guest is trying to upstage the bride?!! No-one seems to freak out if a male guest wears the same colour suit as the groom!!

Have you seen the two last suggestions OP posted?

They are neither random, nor free spirit, nor bride upstaging.

I especially like the roses OP. It is OBVIOUSLY not bridal, it has a strong pattern in pastels which the bride has suggested, the fabric and cut are not what you would wear everyday. There is nothing wrong with chiffon. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that dress for a wedding.

And I say this as someone who thinks not being cautious is pointless. You have avoided the pitfalls. Ignore further attacks. FWIW I think these dresses are more appropriate than the orange floral you originally posted and I suspect if you had posted them at first we would not have gone down this too informal/upstaging the bride rabbit hole.

This is my next buy. I’m a size 18 but it’s just an example of types of dress they have.

GlowEve CURVE Plus Size Women Elegant Sleeveless Floral Print Dress With Bow Tie Waist
I discovered amazing products on SHEIN.com, come check them out!
api-shein.shein.com/h5/sharejump/appjump?link=RlPcwKUpYNu_8&localcountry=GB&shc=2_RlPcwKUpYNu&url_from=GM71092070296

I actually bought my wedding dress from Shein and also dresses for weddings too, usually around £25-30 and there are some stunning ones!

If I have to explain this to you, then I can't help you.

And some women can be really ridiculous with what they wear to someone else's wedding. 🙄 Wearing something 80% white screams 'look at meeee! I don't care if I upstage the bride! I'm just soooo random, I'm a free spirit, and I do woteva I want to...... So THERE.'

I think its unnecessary and just best avoided, people can interpret it as bitvhy and im sure thats the last thing you'd want at a family wedding. Choosing to wear white when there is so so many easy other choices just makes you look bad imo.

If you desperately want florals there are loads on Vinted for your budget without the white background, to save any concern, OP - found these in the first few options for example!