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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

487 replies

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 07:23

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?
OP posts:
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42
Namechangeforthisdilemma1 · 03/06/2026 09:15

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 18:34

Have ordered this now.

What a nightmare this thread turned into!!

Thank you @StartingToday010626 and @SomeGarlic and @ScotiaLass for your kind offer 💕

Does me wearing this take some pressure off what DD ends up wearing?

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Lovely dress! I still think it’s batshit to put DD in a white (or white appearing as with the very pale blue or pink) dress if she is not a flower girl…. This is cute if you can find similar? https://www.next.co.uk/style/su748393/h85306?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=7971580444&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UUZy3LJfEZ4VHa-S3Nd2MSQ5

gindrop · 03/06/2026 08:59

What would Mumsnet have said about some of these I wonder?

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?
abbynabby23 · 03/06/2026 07:35

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 07:23

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

If I was the bride, I wouldn’t even consider that a “white” dress. As for the little, no-one will be offended. It’s a kid!!

Clarefromwork · 03/06/2026 07:30

If you search on h and m’s website for “tulle skirt dress” there are quite a few that would be nice as a wedding guest dress for your dd

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/06/2026 06:58

MyEasterBonnet · 03/06/2026 06:53

I’m one who would fully avoid white. I think white stands out in group shots, even if it has a pattern over it. I definitely wouldn’t dress DD in white unless she’s been asked to.

Out of a million colours the only suitable dresses are mostly white?
I always 🙄 to this because I think the person who thinks this must be very hard work...

MyEasterBonnet · 03/06/2026 06:53

I’m one who would fully avoid white. I think white stands out in group shots, even if it has a pattern over it. I definitely wouldn’t dress DD in white unless she’s been asked to.

DappledThings · 03/06/2026 06:33

Aco8171 · 03/06/2026 05:49

This is rage bait surely? These are still too white imo. Wear literally any other colour!

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Nope, just more examples of perfectly acceptable dresses to all but those who are actively looking to be offended.

Aco8171 · 03/06/2026 05:49

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 15:43

I’ve found some other dresses that i’d like your thoughts on please

This is rage bait surely? These are still too white imo. Wear literally any other colour!

Aco8171 · 03/06/2026 05:41

Anxioustealady · 02/06/2026 07:43

Why when you have all the colours in the world to choose from, do people (especially MILs and SILs to be...) suddenly HAVE to wear white? It does feel intentional and I think you should pick something else.

Completely agree! Although it’s not bridal at all, there are so many other colours just wear one of them. Unless the vast majority is floral or patterned with a white background, sometimes in photos it isn’t clear.
If your daughter isn’t a flower girl I wouldn’t put her in all white either because then it’s like she’s part of the wedding party.
Can just ask the bride maybe? Although she will have enough on her plate so if you need to ask the question just find another dress.

AllTheChaos · 03/06/2026 00:07

StartingToday010626 · 02/06/2026 16:04

Chiffon dresses look cheap. I’d steer clear of this material for a wedding.

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Really? I have a lovely chiffon dress (actual chiffon so silk), and think it looks lovely!

badfinger · 02/06/2026 23:54

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 16:01

I just think it makes the pattern pop out more when it’s on a white background

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Fuck me. It's not about you. Wear your popping out patterns to a garden party. For this one day, don't go out of your way to wear white.

Ozmumofboys3 · 02/06/2026 23:11

All the dresses you’ve posted for your DD look far too bridesmaidy. You just tell her she’s can’t wear a shiny dress and pick something suitable, she’s 4! There are plenty of other twirly pretty dresses that aren’t pink, white or red. What’s your budget for her dress?

dreamiesformolly · 02/06/2026 23:10

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 23:02

First of all, I get you probably haven’t got to the end of the thread yet but FYI I went with the majority view on this thread for my own dress

Second, as I stated clearly in OP I wanted to know if it would cause offence generally not just for the bride and groom!! Even if they said it’s fine if 60% of guests are offended on their behalf then it’s not good is it?!

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FWIW, I'm sceptical that most people get as outraged by white at a wedding as a lot of MNers seem to. I suspect you'd have been fine - but I totally get how this thread would have made you uneasy about your original choice!

Groobey · 02/06/2026 23:09

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 18:34

Have ordered this now.

What a nightmare this thread turned into!!

Thank you @StartingToday010626 and @SomeGarlic and @ScotiaLass for your kind offer 💕

Does me wearing this take some pressure off what DD ends up wearing?

Show quote history

No. Your daughter cannot wear a white or flower girl dress to the wedding.

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 23:02

Stressmummy12 · 02/06/2026 22:47

I agree
she’s picking the dresses with a white back ground on purpose and not only that is refusing to ask the two people that matter the most the bride and groom

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First of all, I get you probably haven’t got to the end of the thread yet but FYI I went with the majority view on this thread for my own dress

Second, as I stated clearly in OP I wanted to know if it would cause offence generally not just for the bride and groom!! Even if they said it’s fine if 60% of guests are offended on their behalf then it’s not good is it?!

OP posts:
Stressmummy12 · 02/06/2026 22:47

Floppyearedlab · 02/06/2026 15:56

She’s clearly doing it on purpose now

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I agree
she’s picking the dresses with a white back ground on purpose and not only that is refusing to ask the two people that matter the most the bride and groom

CheshireDing · 02/06/2026 22:00

The dresses that SomeGarlic posted are much more suitable. The frilled one is perfect for a wedding.

EBay will have lots of Monsoon and Next girls dresses which are suitable for a wedding (and don't make your DD look like a flower girl)!

ByRealOtter · 02/06/2026 19:55

Sidebeforeself · 02/06/2026 19:53

Well I think you invited the derail by calling a poster a snotty cow. Anyway, OP seems to be sorted now

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She started the bad language not me 🤣

Sidebeforeself · 02/06/2026 19:53

ByRealOtter · 02/06/2026 19:48

And this thread is becoming more complicated than just a post about suitable dresses so maybe keep it on track for OP instead of a few posters attacking me for trying to help the OP.

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Well I think you invited the derail by calling a poster a snotty cow. Anyway, OP seems to be sorted now

ByRealOtter · 02/06/2026 19:48

Sidebeforeself · 02/06/2026 19:42

It’s so much more complicated than ethical or not

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And this thread is becoming more complicated than just a post about suitable dresses so maybe keep it on track for OP instead of a few posters attacking me for trying to help the OP.

Whyarentmysquashesthriving · 02/06/2026 19:43

Your budget for your little girl is £10 and you're shopping on vinted. There are thousands of the right kind of dresses! Is she size 3-4 or 4-5? Reply with the size and I'll suggest some.

Sidebeforeself · 02/06/2026 19:42

ByRealOtter · 02/06/2026 19:40

The second set are as I specifically searched “UK most unethical fashion companies.

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It’s so much more complicated than ethical or not