AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

To be fair to Anne, she was sister of the groom, so arguably close to the bridal party. But then again, so is the op ...!

If you dress you DD in white it will look like you’re making a point, even though you’re not.

Your dress is fine, and not remotely bridal. But pick literally ANY other colour for DD.

I think Camilla was criticised for it that day ...

I feel as though you're getting it a bit backwards, framing it that the bride needs to make her wedding day 'easier' for her guests. It's her and her future DH's special day, and I think really, the guests should be wanting to make the day 'easier' and more lovely for them. Note: I say the guests should want to, not that the bride should be a demanding perfectionist.

Ultimately though, I've found it very, very simple to never wear white (or largely white things) to a wedding, so I'm not sure why it's considered such a dreadful hardship for a guest.

I actually looked at Anne first - and I have seen that photo before.

I immediately thought it was Zara!

Absolutely. Be considerate to your guests and don't impose the idea on them that a tiny bit of white on them is a slight on you as the bride. Don't make being a guest difficult by demanding any uniform rules.

Be kind to yourself as the bride and chill out if you think this sort of nonsense actually impacts you. And be kind to people asking about completely acceptable and normal dresses and don't make them doubt themselves so they have to spend more money and stress to keep a non-existent standard.

It is not rules that are important, but basic consideration is. "Be kind", OP.

That's partly because she has been stuffed at the back behind almost everyone else and under much darker lighting than those at the front.

To me, what it shows is that, at that time, the 'no white' rule was not as rigid adhered to as MN believes it should be. I have never heard anyone criticising either Princess Anne or Queen Fabiola for their dress choice for that wedding.

Op I really like the dress you ended up ordering. I also like the second off the dresses you posted (butterflies) for the shape.

If you go to vinted and type in party dress age 4, there are any number of really pretty and suitable dresses that come up. I would live to be in the stage of choosing things like this again.

Agreed with this. Both points.

Omg look at Princess Anne! Her dress was mostly white! People MUST have looked at the photo and thought "that woman in the yellow hat is probably the bride".

Or maybe they looked at the woman in the centre of the photo in the wedding dress, standing next to the groom.

Little children can wear white to weddings.

I don't see it all but the important thing is you wear something you are comfortable in.

I still think it's a shame that women are being told to second guess completely normal choices and made to feel their very standard dress choices imply a desire to make some kind of point. It just promotes the bridezilla over the normal bride in a very tedious way.

My eyes went first to "Zara" and I then wondered how she was so old at Diana's wedding! Family likeness!

But yes, the white distracts from the bridal group.

Agree! They really draw the eye away from the centre of the photo, and the bride and groom.

I agree. Also this guy declares a strict "no more than 50% white" rule and mentions Debrett's, but all I can find from Debrett's is "Women should avoid head-to-toe outfits in white or cream" which is very different.

Ludicrously overly complicated "rules" one guy has come up with and apparently convinced at least one person he is some kind of authority. Funny enough I would take a punt on it being parody.

This guy covers it all very thoroughly. Has some good guidelines. For example:

"If you're considering a patterned dress with white elements, apply the visual 50 percent test: if more than half the visible fabric appears white, choose something else. A navy dress with small white polka dots is fine. A white dress with navy trim is not."

Can You Wear White to a Wedding? The Definitive Rule | Wedding Guide Anatole

As far as I'm aware though (correct me if I'm wrong) it wasn't seen as a faux pas or a slight at the time, and I can't find any comment/criticism of it in contemporary reports, so I assume it wasn't considered a big deal?

At Harry & Meghan's wedding there were at least two guests wearing white floral print dresses too. I've never seen as much fuss about it in real life as I have on MN.

And in my opinion, it does ruin the photo somewhat, as despite the dresses having other colours, they stand out more than the bride!

To be fair, the royal family aren’t exactly the benchmark of “well-adjusted behaviour” plus it’s no secret Diana wasn’t liked.

How about the two women in white dresses? (Princess Anne and another guest)

🤣🤣

That all the little girls in white were probably asked to be flower girls or bridesmaids?