AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

I entirely disagree! Looks far dressier to me than any of those events and the next step up gets into evening event territory.

But neither of our opinions matter if OP likes it and is happy in it.

Not wearing white does not extend to not wearing anything with a white background. This madness of anyone being offended by a completely normal white background and coloured patterned dress is so irritating.

I'm confused at the op saying this is a similar dress, then later says that the actual dress isn't floral, so honestly I'm not sure how we're meant to judge.

Secondly, it's your brothers wedding, not some random person, just message your brother with a photo of the actual dress, and say, "me and Mum have picked this out for me to wear to the wedding. And DD has a floofy white dress. But I'm now worried it's all a bit too white. Could u ask xxx what she thinks and let me know asap. No offence will be taken!"

If in doubt, always run it past the bride!

My friend brought his then 5 year old to our wedding in a white dress. At no point did it occur to me I was meant to be affronted by this. Because only the incurably petty and insecure are offended by the clothes of a small child.

@DappledThings No, I’m not odd. It’s a “casual dress down dress when you haven’t bothered to find anything better so you drag a dress you’ve had for years outvoted wardrobe” outfit. It’s not remotely special - great for a pub wedding though. I’m not suggesting this wedding is black tie (although my DDs will be) but this dress isn’t a wedding guest dress. It’s clearly an every day dress. It’s a very boring mum dress and suitable for pub, bbq, lunch out, races if you aren’t dressing up and a kids party. A wedding, if it’s reasonably smart, not really.

It feels like someone (either OP or her mother) not agreeing with the “no flower girl” rule and just doing it anyway 🤣🤣

I think your dress is perfect. It is a colourful floral, not white. I wouldn't put a toddler in white for a wedding because of the chance of getting food down the clothes. Something patterned might be better.

Somewhere this idea that wedding guests should dress like they are heading to an evening awards dinner crept in and it's bizarre.

Totally agree, the expectation that everyone look like they're attending the Oscars, or splash out £500 on a full length dress which they will never have the occasion to wear again to look "glamorous" or "current". Most weddings I have been to have female guests in standard shift or midi dresses from the high street, not top end designer brands, people want dresses they can be comfortable in, enjoy the day, dance in, partake in the ceilidh (we are in Scotland).

Of all the colours in the world why have you bought your child a white dress?

I agree with this. From a distance and in photos, that dress still looks like a white dress. There are so many other colours to choose from- it’s bizarre!

So maybe ask them because your DD wearing white will definitely look like a flower girl.

I always find it bizarre when people wear white to a wedding. There’s so many colours, it gives the impression you want the attention on you imo. Even if the bride says nothing I bet other guests will find it odd.

Your dress is fine.

Do not dress your DD in white. You’ll look crazed and like you want her to be flower girl

The ‘no white’ thing is getting silly. The vast majority of dresses in the shops that are wedding suitable this (and every) summer in the U.K. have some white on them as background or accent.

Sure - you want to avoid long pure white/ cream dress and tiara ( like Orla’s mum in Derry Girls 😁) but no one is going to mistake you for a bride or take offence (unless looking to do so) if you’re in a floral with white / polka dot dress!

Dress you might get away with. dressing your daughter in a white dress when there aren't any flower girls etc? Seriously pass agg!

That dress is completely appropriate wedding wear. The people saying it's an office dress and too informal are really odd. It's clearly a summer party type dress. Somewhere this idea that wedding guests should dress like they are heading to an evening awards dinner crept in and it's bizarre.

Toddler in white is fine. Even if they were having flower girls they'd be unlikely to be in white.

OP I’d ask the bride about your DDs dress but I’m sure it will be fine and you will both look lovely. Take no notice of some of the nasty comments on here. That looks nothing like a work dress and when you have your hair and make up done it will all come together and you will look great and the style of dress looks comfortable if you are chasing a toddler about during the day.

Agree that the dress is too informal giving you are the sister of the groom. Need to see DDs dress before passing judgement..

Dress is fine.
White is a bold choice for a toddler - mine would have had stains down it before the ceremony was even half done!

You sound a bit, well, defiant. I don't know why you're asking here: your OP states you "will" be dressing your DD in white (whyyyyyyy???) and you "will" be wearing a white dress with a pattern print.

Surely, it's not too hard to find a different colour for both you & your daughter.

Dress is very informal. I personally wouldn’t wear it to a wedding let alone a wedding of a close family member. I think the ratio of colour to white is okay. As others have said, I would check with the bride though. You literally have 100’s of other colours to choose from so you might be best to scrap the white altogether.
Your daughter in white? I think this is way too far, but again check with the bride. It seems like you’re inserting her into a role they’re not having.

Do you think anyone would take offence?

Yes.

Your daughter will make it look like they have a flower girl who refused to do the job on the day. It's not rocket science - just don't wear white to a wedding. There's a whole rainbow out there. Wear anything else.

Ask the bride. Someone close to me was struggling to get the right outfit and literally chose something the same colour as my dress, but personally I didn't mind.