AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

This would piss me off as I would feel you were trying to make her one.

We avoided flower girls because there are so many kids in the immediate family it would have ended up a big drama. I’d be upset if SIL then dressed her child like one.

I don’t understand why people even go near remotely white dresses. If you have to ask if it’s too white, then it is. And please don’t put the bride on the spot, she has enough to manage without worrying about the % white of your dress. There’s literally hundreds of other options out there.

I think the dress is fine in terms of whiteness, but I also think that if I was worrying to the point of asking online, I’d just pick something else. Just for the sake of being more comfortable with my outfit on the day. I agree with people saying it doesn’t meet the formal dress code, but since you’ve not posted the actual dress just a similar one it’s hard to say.

I agree about the white dress for your toddler. I think for a lot of people it wouldn’t be an issue. Some people might think you’re a bit of a nightmare along the lines of a MN AIBU post. “AIBU to think how dare my bitchy new SIL not want my delightful toddler as a flower girl, I always wanted my child involved in her uncle’s wedding. Im planning on dressing her like one anyway so that we have the pictures I want”.

“They didn’t specify no white on the invite”

they also haven’t specified not to show up naked. But you know…. Common sense??

To be fair the invites shouldn't need to say no white, it's usually common sense! Run the dresses past the bride and see what she thinks, but by posting here I think you already know the reaction you'll get.

I think it is probably fine OP as it is not too bridal. But you could wear literally any other colour and sidestep the issue entirely. Why not just do that?

If you ask the question, you MUST know that white/ cream/ ivory are traditionally in this country (not worldwide) the colour of the bride...

WHY, with all the possible colours that exist, just why would anyone pick white, even with a few bits of colour? Even if she doesn't care because most brides don't, can't you just let the bride have a day, and be the only one in white on the day and on the photos?

It's such a "look at me, I am too cool for rules' attitude. It's usually other guests who completely roll their eyes, it's a bit tragic really

I think a white base dress with a pattern is fine. a dress like this if dressed up with none white accessories is perfectly fine. With no bridesmaids etc I would say white is fine - flower girls and bridesmaids are usually in a colour not white so don't see the issue there

Personally, I don't think having a white/cream background is an issue, as long as the rest has a coloured design eg. Floral.

As the invitation states 'formal' rather than 'smart dress', then I'd probably rethink the dress, to something a little more glamorous. Yes, the dress pictured is nice, but it's probably something I'd wear to an evening invitation only.

You need to completely rethink your daughter's dress. Your daughter wearing an entire white dress, is going to look 'flower girl'. Find a pretty, coloured dress, that looks more guest, than flower girl.

So the invite says pastel colours and formal?

Your dress is neither

Nor is your dd dress

Grow up

why do people say that? Putting the bride on the spot so she has to say yes, why?

Even if she doesn't care, why would you do pick that specific colour.

I’ve never had a wedding invite that specifies no white, I think it’s just a given.
Glad you’ve decided on a different colour for your daughter, she just really doesn’t need to be wearing white.

These are better - various brands from John Lewis.

I would put the toddler in a pink / blue / lemon cardigan over the white dress or pink frilly socks or coloured shoes just to make it look less flower girly.

And agree with others, that dress is…dull and informal, I know it’s not the one you’re actually wearing though.

I agree - that would be classed as too casual for my brothers wedding in my opinion, i would go for glam and all out for a family wedding, family weddings don't happen often

Your dress is fine.

I’ve no idea why you’d want to dress your toddler in white when you don’t have to! Pick something with a pattern so the inevitable stains will be easier to hide something like this:

https://www.boden.com/products/girls-bubble-hem-dress-honeysuckle-flower-vine-g5801mul?variant=42953127559377&tc_ch=ps&tc_ve=goog&tc_so=pmax&tc_me=cr&tc_campid=20181558948&tc_adgroupid=&tc_targetid=&tc_locphys=9045991&tc_matchid=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20186121797&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_vnQBhCxARIsADcZyxI0pbGfGtES8ZByL34_EqUyJPjxwRSGjtxbxq1yQautiJvaV6uzOhkaAuseEALw_wcB

How old is she?

I'm very ignorant about clothes, but even I know it's wise to either eschew white, or check with the bride

The dress in the picture is fine but seeing as it’s not the dress you’re wearing… all of the advice given is irrelevant 😂 because we’re judging a dress you won’t actually be wearing.

And don’t put your DD in white.
If they’ve specified no flower girls and to choose pastel colours, Next do beautiful pastel dresses for little girls.

I mean you can get white dresses that don’t exude ‘flower girl’ vibes- but you just don’t do it.

Next we will be hearing ‘oh but my child has a condition which means she can ONLY wear white’. That is about average for MN.

What about the responses to your DD’s dress @brillfrill ?