AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

I don't think it's too casual but I think i would ask the bride. Well personally I wouldn't because I have no patience with being told what to wear. But that's a me issue.

The dress is fine with the amount of white, and it wouldn’t be unacceptable for a wedding, it’s clearly not “bridal” or “bridesmaidy”. However I do think it’s a bit boring and frumpy, especially for your brother’s wedding, sorry, OP. I’m almost 40 and I wouldn’t wear it. It’s more random wedding guest than family member. Anyway, don’t dress DD in white. Loads of pretty summery dresses in the shops at the moment, frilly ankle socks and sandals. Sorted. Take a spare in case she spills 😂

Most flower girls I see are in white, ivory or cream with coloured posies or sash.

Black tie is not really appropriate for a wedding. Should really only be worn after 6pm. I know it’s popular in the US though 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't wear chiffon to a barbecue.

I think the dress is ok, it is just the colour I am getting rather suspicious about ...

In fairness, asking the bride can cause tensions especially if the bride feels she is being pressured to say yes.

Its more white than any other colour and a bit more summer bbq vibe than wedding so I wouldn't wear it if I were you

Your daughter in white is absolutely fine, she's the niece of the groom so she has a special role just by being herself. Unfortunately though I think that your dress is just too white, and I'd select a different one - not to be mean in any way, the dress is very pretty.

And then trying to establish they got the MN seal of approval in case someone gets upset ... by not posting the actual dresses.

There's pastel dresses for your DD from £12 across all online shops, why you or your Mum would think, white, is anyone's guess. As said, you don't have to stipulate, no white, because like at a funeral, you don't have to stipulate, no short-shorts, you just don't do it. I'm not a fan of pastels, I'd have to go pale green. You'll find something that will blend in.

I think in chiffon that style is formal enough.

But is it really boldly patterned? Chiffon is often floaty and pale ...

Is there a reason you won't just ask the bride? Or even answer questions saying, just ask the bride / groom.

There's something very insincere about this...

And in all honesty OP suggesting pastels is really code for don't wear white.

They have just tried to phrase it in the positive not as a prohibition!

ETA if your dress really is as informal and has as bright and bold a colour contrast in the same ratios, I think it probably is ok. But I'm now starting to wonder why you have not posted the actual dress ...

And if she doesn’t like it there’s this

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/puff-sleeve-floral-mesh-dress-blue-55100940007.html

its very easy to pick something up for your daughter from most places costing hardly anything.

I think she said the boldness/ratio of pattern to white was similar though?

Though I guess if it is pale pink on cream or cream on white it may alter things ....

@brillfrill If the invitation said formal, your dress doesn’t meet that. I posted you 5 from John Lewis that you can make info a formal day look. It’s easy of you go with a strong block colour and add accessories. Don’t wear a work dress or pub lunch dress. Choose a floral dress for DD. Wedding dressing isn’t difficult if you look for an occasion dress. Loads of stores have them. Also look for style of dress and better design and fabrics. Midi is better.

There are thousands of dress for your daughter. This would be fine and it’s half price

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/agnes-floral-print-ruffle-tier-dress-multi-55801090020.html

It's a lovely dress and not remotely bridal - perfect!!

I had a knee length white dress with huge blue print all over it for a friends wedding last year and got umpteen comments from friends saying it was inappropriate...bride said it was gorgeous. People are busybodies!! As PP said - the 'no white' is to stop people confusing you with the bride!

Any colour at all, except white.

But the op hasn’t posted the actual dress she is wearing and says her dress doesn’t have flowers on it.

The dress for your DD doesn’t have to be red or pink. There are plenty of gorgeous dresses out there for children in other colours.
Try next, Boden, Zara, Monsoon.
A pretty floral traditional dress would be perfect

The fabric can completely change how formal the dress looks.

I think the OPs dress looks more formal as its a lighter material, whereas thr maxi dresses posted look luje beach wear due to them looking like a jersey type fabric.

In truth most posters are saying it is quite informal - which is hardly attention-seeking.

I think sometimes people push the no white thing by arguing it has a bit of a pattern, but that one is genuinely a bold pattern and the fact the dress itself is on the informal/non-bridal side actually helps it pass muster imo.

Do not wear white or put your dd in white you two are not the bride and flower girl. This is what my future sil plans to do at our future wedding to make it all about her.

if it says pastels wear pastels. What’s wrong with a light blue or lilac dress for both of you. Or green. A pastel trouser suit would be great.