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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

487 replies

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 07:23

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?
OP posts:
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42
Nearly50omg · 02/06/2026 10:24

HobGobblynne · 02/06/2026 09:37

It's a lovely dress and not remotely bridal - perfect!!

I had a knee length white dress with huge blue print all over it for a friends wedding last year and got umpteen comments from friends saying it was inappropriate...bride said it was gorgeous. People are busybodies!! As PP said - the 'no white' is to stop people confusing you with the bride!

It’s also NOT the dress she will be wearing!

jackstini · 02/06/2026 10:23

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:14

What is it about them that makes them look bridesmaidy?

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They are all satin, mostly 1 colour and quite flower girl type

I would go for something patterned in an easy to wear fabric for dd

The dress you posted for you looks ok, but I wouldn’t class it as formal wedding clothes - which is what the invitation states. Maybe the one you have is less casual but hard to say without seeing!

ijustlovecoffee · 02/06/2026 10:23

Nope. Don’t wear white to a wedding unless explicitly told to by the bride.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 02/06/2026 10:21

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:19

Would a bow be ok instead of a flower?

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Oh I only said “without the flower” to make it clear which pale blue dress I liked. I don’t think there’s any issue with a flowery dress in general.

Whyherewego · 02/06/2026 10:21

Yanbu for the dress, the contrast pattern means it's not remotely bridal. Yabu for dressing a toddler in white, recipe for disaster and won't be white for more than 2 mins haha

user293948849167 · 02/06/2026 10:19

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:10

I’ve looked on Vinted, would you say all these are ok?

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The top two are bridesmaid-y the bottom three are ok

DidYeAye16 · 02/06/2026 10:19

That's absolutely fine.

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:19

WhatAMarvelousTune · 02/06/2026 10:17

I’d go for the second one - the pale blue one without the flower.
It’s nice, and it fits their pastel colour request (although generally speaking I hate requests for specific colours for guests, and think the bride and groom need to get over themselves).

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Would a bow be ok instead of a flower?

OP posts:
NewUserNameNewMe · 02/06/2026 10:18

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:14

What is it about them that makes them look bridesmaidy?

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They are all very bridesmaid looking because they are probably bridesmaid/flower girl dresses! Satin, pouffy, a couple of them look actually white. Maybe the second to last at a push, but for what you’ll pay including postage, I think the discounted monsoon ones were far more suitable for a 4yo guest at a wedding. Or the one further upthread, can’t remember the brand now but it was a-line with flower appliqué on it and came in a couple of colours.

chocolatemademefat · 02/06/2026 10:18

You’ll be fine in a flowery dress. I wouldn’t dress your daughter in white - it will give ‘stealth flower girl’!

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:17

OtterlyAstounding · 02/06/2026 10:16

All of those are very close to white, OP, and as PP has said, very flower girl. It's as if you're trying to get as close to white colour and bridal party as possible! I'd look for a stronger pastel purple, blue, or green, with a floral print perhaps. A pp linked a lovely blue dress further back in the thread.

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I thought the little blue Mayoral dress was rather sweet too.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 02/06/2026 10:17

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:10

I’ve looked on Vinted, would you say all these are ok?

Show quote history

I’d go for the second one - the pale blue one without the flower.
It’s nice, and it fits their pastel colour request (although generally speaking I hate requests for specific colours for guests, and think the bride and groom need to get over themselves).

Lomonald · 02/06/2026 10:17

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:10

I’ve looked on Vinted, would you say all these are ok?

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They are quite flouncy i would probably not, have her wear something else,

user293948849167 · 02/06/2026 10:17

I think your dress is fine (and doesn’t look too informal to me) but there’s a risk your DD might look like a flower girl, or look like you’re trying to make her look like one? Probably best to check with the bride

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:16

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:14

What is it about them that makes them look bridesmaidy?

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Mostly the satiny fabric and the very pooofed out skirts.

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 02/06/2026 10:16

As you asked. That dress is very old fashioned. The neckline, length and skirt detail are very 2000's. But it's not the actual dress so it's hard to say if the dress you are wearing is similar.

Wexone · 02/06/2026 10:16

gindrop · 02/06/2026 10:02

We obviously move in very different circles!

I've never been to a wedding where women dressed the same as they do at Royal Ascot, and I would have felt incredibly out of place in any of those outfits.

The last wedding I've been to where women wore hats must be over 20 years ago.

Some people's idea of "formal" wedding attire is very different to others', which is why threads like this are always difficult to answer.

Edit to add: sorry, I've just seen you said ignore the hats, but the rest of my post still stands.

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For irish weddings people do dress same as they would for Royal Ascot of for ladies day at the races , it would also be very common for people to wear hats etc - Hat hire is huge here in Ireland
If it was a family wedding people will go all out
Adding some links here for shops for wedding outfits -
Wedding Guest Dresses – Pure Boutique
Wedding Guest – Fusion Fashion
Wedding outfits are very glam

HobGobblynne · 02/06/2026 10:16

gindrop · 02/06/2026 10:02

We obviously move in very different circles!

I've never been to a wedding where women dressed the same as they do at Royal Ascot, and I would have felt incredibly out of place in any of those outfits.

The last wedding I've been to where women wore hats must be over 20 years ago.

Some people's idea of "formal" wedding attire is very different to others', which is why threads like this are always difficult to answer.

Edit to add: sorry, I've just seen you said ignore the hats, but the rest of my post still stands.

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Agree - at my own wedding I couldn't tell you what anyone except the bridesmaids and I wore. I'd probably have clocked if someone else turned up in an actual wedding dress, but other than that I was just glad everyone had made the effort to come and celebrate with us.

I would genuinely hate to be held hostage to a life where what people wore mattered so much.

OtterlyAstounding · 02/06/2026 10:16

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:10

I’ve looked on Vinted, would you say all these are ok?

Show quote history

All of those are very close to white, OP, and as PP has said, very flower girl. It's as if you're trying to get as close to white colour and bridal party as possible! I'd look for a stronger pastel purple, blue, or green, with a floral print perhaps. A pp linked a lovely blue dress further back in the thread.

BCSurvivor · 02/06/2026 10:15

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:14

What is it about them that makes them look bridesmaidy?

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The formal styling, the design, the colour.
I think your dress will be absolutely fine though.

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:15

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:10

I’ve looked on Vinted, would you say all these are ok?

Show quote history

Well they are more glam than yours! I think some of those are flower girl dresses op.

I genuinely get why you want your little girl in a dress like that because I understand it would have been lovely if the bride had asked her to be a flower girl.

But she hasn't ...

I suppose the two shorter ones with sandals could be ok? But the satiny sheen is quite flower-girly. What fabric is that longer blue one?

mochimoons · 02/06/2026 10:15

I'd imagine you are going to be near the bride in a lot of the photos and it'll look awful next to a white wedding dress so I'd pick something else if that's the case.

Children can really wear what they want but they will look like they are part of the bridal party so if your SIL would be annoyed by that then pick something else.

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:14

BCSurvivor · 02/06/2026 10:13

I would say no, they all look far too bridesmaidy.
You specifically said that there aren't going to be flower girls at your brother's wedding.
But by dressing your daughter in a very obviously bridesmaidy dress, it will definitely look as if you are trying to insert her into the wedding party.

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What is it about them that makes them look bridesmaidy?

OP posts:
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