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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

487 replies

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 07:23

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?
OP posts:
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42
Viviiene · 02/06/2026 10:50

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:45

There is one more photo:

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Honestly no! A pretty dress as others have posted would be perfect, a bridesmaid style dress not.

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:48

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:45

There is one more photo:

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Oh I think that is a satiny fabric too maybe. I thought it was perhaps a linen ramie type fabric with a subtle sheen.

But at four she will be getting a bit of height and I think a long fluid dress would look quite pretty.

Confuserr · 02/06/2026 10:47

I presumed the OP dress (or a dress similar to the OP dress but apparently different pattern and different colours) was something you already had and wanted to rewear.
But if you bought it specially from vinted I don't understand why you didn't get something more suitable, if you're asking if it's ok or too white you must know it might not be, so it's not going to be very good for other weddings either. And I agree with PPs, if the wedding dress code is formal you should get something formal instead, not a dress you'd wear for a pub garden on a nice day.

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:45

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:40

Oh well maybe she was just trying to be helpful.

What is that longer little blue dress for DD like op? Are there more photos?

Show quote history

There is one more photo:

AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?
OP posts:
Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:42

LaliqueSaltGrinder · 02/06/2026 10:40

For your DD I'd choose something like

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/9047946895-monsoon-girls-floral-yellow-dress?referrer=catalog

or https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/8829792781-beautiful-ted-baker-girls-dress?referrer=catalog (bit pink)?

orhttps://www.vinted.co.uk/items/9057978095-nanos-floral-occasion-dress-teal-green-size-4-years

basically anything which doesn't say "wedding" in the description.

I think that is a play dress. And as for the worn once! Again we have the vinted crumple!

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:40

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:38

The invite said that any colour is ok. DM told me she had suggested pastel on the invite because people had asked her if that was allowed and if there was a theme for the bridesmaids, which there isn’t

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Oh well maybe she was just trying to be helpful.

What is that longer little blue dress for DD like op? Are there more photos?

Original poster
brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:38

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:32

Agreed. And in fairness to the op, while I do get the feeling she and DM are trying to ambush with a flower girl dress, I also sense the bride might be quite Bridezilla-y. No flower girl, pastels please.

GMs look forward to having their little GDs as flower girls. I don't know how many DGC she has, but it seems a pity,

Show quote history

The invite said that any colour is ok. DM told me she had suggested pastel on the invite because people had asked her if that was allowed and if there was a theme for the bridesmaids, which there isn’t

OP posts:
Viviiene · 02/06/2026 10:36

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:14

What is it about them that makes them look bridesmaidy?

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Because that is what flower girls wear, just get her a normal dress from Next or similar.

Yours looks fine, if patterned like the pic so not really white.

Conscrape · 02/06/2026 10:34

Rosebud987 · 02/06/2026 09:52

I’m getting married next year and I want my guests to enjoy the day, wear what they want and be comfortable. I assume everybody in attendance will know that it’s my wedding….your dress is perfect x

I think views like this are sadly in the minority. All these bridezillas talking about colour ratios, whose weddings would be ruined by some flowers on the white background of someone’s dress. They don’t understand what marriage and weddings are about!

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 02/06/2026 10:34

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 09:14

Excuse me but you don’t need to be rude! It doesn’t say the whole dress has to be pastel. There are lots colours in my dress including pastel

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The dress you posted isn’t formal. And whilst your dress may have “lots of colour including pastel” the dress you posted does not.

If the dress code is pastel, I’d pick a pastel dress / a dress with (primarily) pastel colours.

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:32

RockinCara · 02/06/2026 10:30

I think the dress is fine. But if they’ve actually put something on the invitation about what they want people to wear I’d think they might be “fussy” and I’d resign myself to buying something that falls into their parameters. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where someone has stipulated the colours guests can wear.

Agreed. And in fairness to the op, while I do get the feeling she and DM are trying to ambush with a flower girl dress, I also sense the bride might be quite Bridezilla-y. No flower girl, pastels please.

GMs look forward to having their little GDs as flower girls. I don't know how many DGC she has, but it seems a pity,

RockinCara · 02/06/2026 10:30

I think the dress is fine. But if they’ve actually put something on the invitation about what they want people to wear I’d think they might be “fussy” and I’d resign myself to buying something that falls into their parameters. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where someone has stipulated the colours guests can wear.

NewUserNameNewMe · 02/06/2026 10:29

TurtleGroove · 02/06/2026 10:26

Hi Op - I’d be looking at something like these for your DD - there’s lots similar on Vinted 🙂

https://www.johnlewis.com/monsoon-kids-floral-frill-tulle-dress-green/p114591482

https://www.johnlewis.com/monsoon-kids-anastasia-embellished-tulle-party-dress-blue/p113676091

https://www.johnlewis.com/monsoon-kids-ingrid-tiered-sequin-flower-dress-blue/p115026684

The third one you’ve linked to here is beautiful, pastel, not flower girl style, and very age/wedding guest appropriate!

SandyHappy · 02/06/2026 10:28

Another vote for monsoon, my DD went to a wedding last year age 4 and the possibilities on vinted were endless, I ended up buying around 4 dresses, monsoon do lovely semi-formal dresses for little girls that don't look like bridesmaids dresses.

Stay away from puffy satin.

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:28

Nearly50omg · 02/06/2026 10:26

They are bridesmaids dresses that’s why! Clearly!

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To be fair to her we all said any colour but white.

But I agree, full-skirted in satin is still flower-girly.

OtterlyAstounding · 02/06/2026 10:27

Yes, all the Monsoon dresses that have been linked are gorgeous, and very appropriate in look.

ETA: Whoops, I meant to reply to @BCSurvivor

Trinity65 · 02/06/2026 10:27

It's lovely OP. Imo

BCSurvivor · 02/06/2026 10:26

The Monsoon dresses above are all so pretty, perfect for a wedding and age appropriate.
Far better than the white or close to white pooffed out satin ones, with flounces and bows.

Nearly50omg · 02/06/2026 10:26

brillfrill · 02/06/2026 10:14

What is it about them that makes them look bridesmaidy?

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They are bridesmaids dresses that’s why! Clearly!

Calliopespa · 02/06/2026 10:26

WhatAMarvelousTune · 02/06/2026 10:21

Oh I only said “without the flower” to make it clear which pale blue dress I liked. I don’t think there’s any issue with a flowery dress in general.

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Yes, I thought the blue without the flower might be ok too OP (Not the blue one with the flower but the flower removed.) Is that longer one a more lineny fabric?

It might look quite nice with a hairband with a small bow and sandals. That, I think, is in line with how her mum will be dressing.

I have to be honest and say (and I expect the full weight on MN to come crashing down one me) I sometimes feel that, especially for children, vinted just ends up providing crumpled second-hand things that have once been ridiculously very expensive but have knocked about in a closet and are now being flogged for the same price as a decent new little dress.

HobGobblynne · 02/06/2026 10:25

Nearly50omg · 02/06/2026 10:24

It’s also NOT the dress she will be wearing!

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No, but she's posted it as a representation of the one she IS wearing. Unless the one she's wearing is a wedding dress, it's fine.

WildCherryBlossom · 02/06/2026 10:25

But any dress that your daughter enjoys wearing. And bear in mind at that age it might be helpful to have a back up outfit in case of mishaps. One of the youngest guests at my wedding ended up changing clothes several times due to various spillages / tumbles etc 😂