Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

who said anything about being universal?

Read my post, some women and men like a tidy home because they don't like dirt, mess and clutter, and I am one of them. It has nothing to do with trying to show off to the neighbours.

It's harmless, but it's a bit pathetic if someone's achievement in life is to have clean and ironed curtains, surely they can find more interesting things to achieve?

My point was that these ridiculously house-proud women who refuse for anyone to even put a food in their perfect kitchen bring it upon themselves if their partner leave everything to them

This thread is shocking and hilarious at the same time.

Thinking about all the males in my extended family - the only one who categorically wouldn’t be able to pack a bag for a trip away is a 7 month old baby.

Everyone else would likely have a view about what they want to take, and would prefer to do the actual selection of the clothes themselves - in exactly the same way that all the females in the family would.

One family member has severe cognitive and physical impairment after a stroke.
Even he only needs a bit of verbal prompting/reminding, and that’s only because he can’t read a list. He can’t fold, but he can roll clothes up and transfer them to a bag.
He hates needing to be dependent on others, so definitely wouldn’t want someone else “taking over” tasks he can actually manage just because they might be quicker, neater or more efficient.

Incidentally, he has regular physio, and always packs his own gym bag too.

Do all the husbands/partners who get no say in what is packed for them to wear on holiday actually appreciate it, or secretly find it a bit of an imposition?

I’d find it a step too far personally, if DH packed a bag for me.
Putting the pile of clothes I’d already picked out into the suitcase - fine.
Burrowing through my drawers and wardrobe to find clothes (ones that he feels make me look “presentable?”)- not at all fine.

The difference between them cooking you a meal vs insisting you let them feed you said meal with their fingers, because it’s a loving gesture.

Some might posit that being "house-proud" is a virtue, specific to the traits of some women, and not ridiculous at all. It's a real source of pride, for some, to showcase a home they are proud that they own, rent or whatever and want to share that space, in its best light, with the people they care about and love.

People show appreciation and love in different ways.

Some cook. Some bake. Some sew or make handmade cards. Some keep the house clean and smelling good. Some dress well. Some pack lunches or make gift bags on special occasions etc.

Men value things differently than women so that may explain why you don't see men going into "panic mode" for a "visitor ready" home, although, I know plenty of men who appreciate a tidy house for visitors, so your experience isn't universal.

Some people just don't have the knack 🤷‍♀️
My sister can't do it either. She can't "see" how things could fit in a space.

I am a pro 😁

Oh id hate that

I really couldn't marry a man that wouldn't change the sheets often. And I'm pretty slack.

As for scruffy old clothes etc couldn't care less tbh

Tbh, if I met a man and they took pride in doing their laundry or dare I say, ‘girls jobs’ I’d find them a bit wet??

This would actually make them more attractive to me!!

Because we share a suitcase! 😀

I think that as much as there is a category of useless and incompetent men, there's also a category of ridiculously house-proud women who bring the problem onto themselves, buy putting their pride and worth in the shine of their kitchen sink, when they rest of us really couldn't care less. House is clean because it's comfortable, not because Pamela from next door might judge if she comes to borrow some salt.

I am not sure I have ever heard a man going into full panic mode because he needed his house to be "visitor ready".

I know many men who are a lot more tidy and neat freak than most women, but they don't make it their entire personality and it's about their own comfort, not what people might say.

Who said they dont do anything at all?

Why does the state of his suitcase and its contents concern you?

Pmsl
You dont pack your husband's suitcase therefore you dont ever do anything for them at all and you hate them.

What a crock.

Yes, if I didn't wash the bedlinen, DP would maybe change the bed after about a year. I live with a man who is basically feral when it comes to clothes. Dresses like a tramp, never buys new clothes. I don't subscribe to the "puppy dog training" theory that men should be forced to change by either persuasion, or punishment, or reward. Why should he change? I dress like I want. He's every right to dress to please himself. EXCEPT when going on holiday: since we're going to be out in public, together, I dictate terms by doing all the packing. Swings and roundabouts: I haven't mowed a lawn, put the bins out, or been in a supermarket since about 1998. He does it all. While dressed as a down and out 😂😂 seriously, you'd probably give the poor chap money if you met him in the street. So yes, I pack for him.

And why wasn't he taught this as a child? Did mummy do it all for him?

I do work. But DH doing the long work trips is the reason he's paid so well. He wouldn't quit, and he's actually hoping for ALL of us to move to that location one day.

Both DH and I work away, me more than him, and we both work long hours. Luckily there’s a family of foxes nearby that have looked after DD so we haven’t had the bother of parenting as well.

(Not really. I managed to find a man that can look after himself and DD just as well as I can. Well, once I’d grown her and pushed her out and finished feeding her. From that point we went back to being equals with brains that secured gainful employment and could ensure everything at home needed to function. We will definitely donate these brains to science when the time inevitably comes given they are apparently so incredibly rare.)

It seems amazing that some men can stand up outside of work without their wives having to hold them from some of the stories on here. And it’s 2026. Utterly baffling.

I'm afraid you massively undermine what you say in your first paragraph by then announcing that you think basic household tasks are 'girls' jobs' and that men who can do them are 'a bit wet'.

Packing your husband's bag for him because you like doing it, as you say, doesn't make you a slave/martyr. Classifying tasks as 'girls' jobs' and thinking men are emasculated by doing them, however, absolutely does.

I, personally, would think a grown adult man who couldn't or wouldn't look after himself was a giant incapable baby, and my fanny would snap shut like a clam at the mere thought.

He does. Just as I appreciate that he works long hard days for us to be able to afford the holidays in the first place.

(But he still has to pack his own bags 😂)

@Am99

Tbh, if I met a man and they took pride in doing their laundry or dare I say, ‘girls jobs’ I’d find them a bit wet??

Christ. So you are happy being saddled with all the shit household jobs and running around wiping your husband’s arse because you think it’s “wet” to have pride in hygiene or your surroundings?

Its like the the 20th century never happened

Well, that's wonderful! Sounds like you do a lot for him and I'm sure he appreciates it! ❤

Exactly! All these men who can have such important jobs but can’t pack a bag or complete any number of other tasks.

You know there is no day to day domestic task beyond someone who can have a successful career. The only thing missing is the will and the need. Funny how women get to do both!

I read so many threads on here about people who are unhappy in their marriages because they have to do all the doing and all the thinking whilst holding down their own career and you just know how they got there.

the 2 are not exclusive.

Adults like you or I do chores because as you said, they need to be done.
I am always a bit puzzled by people who are PROUD of their dusting or ironing skill, or even their baking skills.

I can't say I would find a man priding himself on doing laundry very attractive. I expect him to DO it, be clean and organised cause I absolutely hate mess, but proud?

God no! We’d coordinate on packing but no way he’d want me choosing his clothes.

I don't know, I wouldn't judge without having the full details of the rest of their life.

I tend to pack my own staff because it would take me more time to go through the list of what I want/ need with my husband than doing it myself frankly.
And even for a sports event, he won't know if I wanted to wear a blue top or a pink one.. But that's me, it's not about being useless or not, it's about being fussy. If he just had to pick up 2 black suits and 3 white shirts and underwear, I am sure he would if I was away all day (but he still wouldn't know what underwear I want to wear, so again, not helpful 😂.)
DH genuinely could not care less if he's taking and wearing black or grey boxers.

I think it's DH who packed my hospital bags when I had my kids because i couldn't be bothered to do it.

Frankly I can barely manage to pack a bag for myself, let alone anyone else, but even if I was an expert packer I'd still expect DP to pack for himself because, y'know, grown man and all that and he can decide for himself what he wants to take on his travels.