Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

Tbh, if I met a man and they took pride in doing their laundry or dare I say, ‘girls jobs’ I’d find them a bit wet??

What an absolutely ridiculous thing to think. Head in hands here. Truly some women love to prop up the patriarchy.

But does he really appreciate it? When you say yourself that you wouldn’t really if the roles were reversed?

Maybe he recognises you are trying to do a nice thing, but would really prefer to do it himself?

I imagine himself but it wasn’t on my list of questions to ask when we started dating…

I hate the notion that if a woman chooses to pack her husbands bag, laundry etc that the husband must be a lazy misogynist. It just couldn’t be further from the truth. The first time I packed his bag was before he went on holiday to Greece (it was booked before I met him and I had a work commitment so I couldn’t go), but we lived together and I just thought ‘he’s been at work all week, coming back late - I’ll just make HIS life easier by packing his bag ready’ … and it was of great help to him and he was grateful. He doesn’t expect it but of course, it just makes his life easier. If he packed MY bag, it would make life more difficult, not because he’s not capable of folding clothes but as a woman I have greater variety of clothing - skirts, blouses, trousers, dresses, jumpsuits, hats, sunglasses about 10 different handbags… he would be lost and I’d imagine that would be the case for a lot of men as I’ve many conversations with men joking about how many clothes his wife has! He just wears chinos or shorts and a shirt / top so it’s easier for me to pack his bag. BUT if I had to go to hospital or it was emergency, of course he’d pack my bag.

There’s no point in me explaining how my husband would literally do anything for me (yes including packing his back) to a bunch of strangers on the internet but if a woman WANTS to help out her husband it doesn’t make her subservient. It’s different if she was being forced to do so, and I’m not being ignorant of the fact there are some men that do expect it from their wives but it’s not whacky to say that I’m sure a lot of men appreciate it, whilst also not being some lazy, entitled pig that people seem to be pairing here

How did your dh pack before he met you?

I don't see anything wrong with this point of view. It's just strange to me the vitriol the viewpoint attracts. I'm not inclined to piss up a wall or chew tobacco without a bra to show what a strong, independent woman I am .. lol

There are extremes in views and there really doesn't need to be...it isn't that deep.

No. Why would I? We all pack our own bags. It transpired that I was the only one to pack any pants on one short break so DH and DD set off to buy some on the first morning of the holiday while I read my book in bed and they brought me back a coffee. DH had been on holidays for 34 years before we got together so had acquired those skills and DD packed her own bag from age 5 and I would check she had what I thought she needed. She is now very organised for a trip and writes lists in advance. Pants are at the top these days! I do think this whole 'he wouldn't do it right' attitude is odd. He's an adult. I don't want him to be with me because he 'needs' me but because he loves me, and I certainly don't refuse to pack his bag because I hate him. He'd never ask.

I used to pack my DHs bag.
Because he would make it MY fault if he forgot something. And he'd sulk and moan and 'you should have known' etc etc. So I packed for both of us to make sure he didn't ruin a holiday by forgetting his swimming things or his favourite shirt.

He is now, obviously, an ex. Because, eventually, EVERYTHING was my fault.

OMG how old are you? That comment from you sounds ridiculous that doing housework, laundry etc are girls jobs and I find it incredible and a bit gross that if you weren't around your husband would not wash bedsheets or towels etc. I am 66 and yes whilst I acknowledge I notice these things more than my husband he will do them because he is not a slob. Even when we were younger and I worked shorter hours than him he still would put the odd wash on or cook a meal or run a hoover round. He shares it equally now we are retired. Supposing something happened to you and you were unable to do these things? Surely your DH would have to do them then?

That's ridiculous! My 10 year old packs her own bag (I do check it to make sure she has everything needed), my 7 year old packs herself after we have jointly made a list. Why on earth can't a grown man pack? That would give me major ick

Er, no. I hate packing so would not voluntarily take on that role. I tend to do more of the holiday stuff but that’s one task I will not take responsibility for!

If anything my dad would have been more likely to pack for my mum, as he was retired while she was still working and she would often be working right up to their departure date.

No. My 12 year old can pack their own bag - my 50 something husband can cope. And if they can’t - too bad - go naked 🤣

No of course not!

No way, I’m not his mum 🤣

So surely he’s doubling your joy by shoving stuff in the case because you get to iron it all twice!!!

I don’t think I’ve so much as held an iron for at least 15 years.

No I do not pack my husbands bags if he is going away whether it is a family holiday or he is going somewhere on his own. Never have and he travelled a lot for work but always managed to pack his own bag and he is not the most organised of people but on the whole he was able to manage that. My feeling was I did most other things from food shops to cooking, laundry, housework, childcare, finances and gardening plus the remembering of birthdays, etc etc. This was alongside me working part time and sometimes full time. DH now has to share cooking, laundry, shopping and housework as we are both retired. My advice to younger women is make your DH pull his weight. Packing his own bag or making his own lunch is a bare minimum.

Well if you do it for your own enjoyment why do you care how he packs it?

Because as said before I love ironing and folding anyone's clothes, bed linen, teatowels you name it.
I've always wanted one of those old fashioned shops where everything is folded in different boxes. Don't know the name, like haberdasher?

Absolutely not and my kids were packing their own bags (with some supervision) from age 10ish

No I don't pack for my husband, I usually Do pack the kids clothes as well as my own, they lack their toys, my husband packs his stuff, all electronics and necessary chargers and all necessary toiletries. Works best this way as I'd forget toothbrushes for some reason but am always across what clothes we need while he's not so great at planning other people's outfits ahead. That's for holidays though. If he's going on a work trip I'd barely be aware he was going let alone what he's need.

The comment regarding "universal" came from your statement:

I am not sure I have ever heard a man going into full panic mode because he needed his house to be "visitor ready".

So, I pointed out that there men out there, that was all.

I wouldn't agree that it's "pathetic" for anyone to feel a sense of accomplishment in the work they put into their home, despite the lack of value others put into that same work, but you're entitled to your opinion!

What are YOU ironing them? They are his clothes?

Its not really a skill like brain surgery. Anyone could do it if the desire or need is there. These men must have packed when single

I used to pack for my ex-husband. I think it was because my parents had a very traditional marriage as far as divison of labour went and I thoughtthat is what wives did (I got married in the late '90s, not exactly an excuse).

One of the good things about getting divorced and remarried is that you don't make the same mistakes twice. My husband thought it was very odd that I used to pack my ex's case.

I also no longer buy all the christmas presents and wrap them, remember my husband's family's birthdays and do most of the cleaning!

If we go on holiday, everyone gets out what they need and I pack it because I am better at getting more stuff in and I quite like it. Same as I like packing my own shopping. Probably a control thing on my part. Packing for work is different they do their own, because I don't care if they run out of room.