Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

My grown son told me that he finds ironing relaxing. Sort of meditative. And at the end, you can look at it and feel you’ve accomplished something. He is also the best cook in the family. His girlfriend loves it!

No I don’t pack for my husband but I can imagine his mum would have packed for his dad. My MIL was a wonderful woman but the schoolteacher in her would have her organising my FIL unnecessarily.

I don't see anything wrong with someone having this opinion, no.

How does this opinion by this individual affect me in any way?

You don't see anything wrong with thinking laundry is girl's work and men are some how unattractive if they want to clean their bedding...?

Well, I can fit more in a suitcase than others can 🤷‍♀️
I packed for 3 of us for a Mon-fri trip in a small suitcase. DH hadn't realised that we were only taking one (as I do all holiday admin) packed his stuff in there and said he'd finished and said he'd filled the suitcase just nicely. And it looked full, but I could see it could be better.... I unpacked it and showed him how to repack it properly and got mine and (4yo) DDs stuff in there too.
So yes, there is an art to it...

Are you sure one pack of condoms is going to be enough for you?

I've never packed for DH (55 years)! Certainly not packing for his next trip either: 400 mile cycle ride, sleeping in a small tent.

It’s the very least a woman should do for her husband

My partner packs his own bag, but i do sometimes repack it to fit more stuff. We travel with small personal items only and I've mastered how to pack the backpack so if he has a space problem, I will help him out. Otherwise, I would absolutely not pack his bag.

*I’m sure this will absolutely blow peoples minds but my husband has never washed the bed sheets, towels, tea towels or blankets. I do, every week because it’s naturally something I think about more and I like them done weekly. It’s not expected of me and I don’t feel like some sort of martyr. Tbh, if I met a man and they took pride in doing their laundry or dare I say, ‘girls jobs’ I’d find them a bit wet??

My 27yo son lives alone.

Who on earth does you think washes his bed sheets, towels, tea towels and blankets?

He also does these things weekly because he also 'naturally' likes a clean environment 🙄

@ThejoyofNC "What's the point in being married if you can't even ask your spouse for help"

If I haven't already offered help where it would be appreciated, my spouse is welcome to ask for help for things that it makes sense to ask for help with. He does. I happily help. And he likewise happily helps me.

Neither of us would consider it sensible, on those days where he is on site and I'm not, for him to take time out of both of our working days to ask me to pack him a bag of gym kit. It'd take him less time to locate and pack his things than it would take me. For example, I have no idea where his HRM currently is, nor which trainers / tee / vest / shorts / nutrition he'd want. He could of course tell me this, but that would still take longer and be less efficient than it would be for him to simply pack his own stuff, and he'd have to come home anyway to collect the bag regardless of who packed it.

Were he to ask me to pack him this bag in this situation, that would imply he judges his leisure time to be more important than mine. As that's not a value either of us subscribe to, he doesn't ask me to do things for him which it would be more efficient for him to do for himself, so I'm not being put in situations where I'd not want to help.

I do 👋

However, I do it because I enjoy packing; he obviously chooses his own stuff, but I simply enjoy packing and am happy to do it. He obviously can and has done it, but I like doing it, so I do.

We also tend to split jobs by skillset/enjoyment in this house, so he does loads of stuff I don't enjoy (cleaning toilets, washing, etc.).

We all have our jobs, and they're proportioned out evenly.

I think I've helped him out when he's had trips with a tight turn-around with little time to sort out fresh supplies. It's nice to help each other out in a partnership.

But generally he's perfectly capable of managing his own laundry and packing and does so with no issue.

After years of organising children's camps, the (male) DCs have always been involved in packing. As ND teens, I send them a list for them to deal with (or they'd risk being more minimalist than good hygiene allows) and they are now involved in doing their own laundry.

Blimey, It has never occurred to me that my grown ass DH would need me to pack a bag for him. I'm assuming he can decide what he needs for work or holiday and shove it in a bag.

It's never occurred to me that my DS aged 20 would need me to pack a bag for him when he's been away with mates for a few days.

And they both do their own laundry, so if there isn't anything clean then that's on them.

From a very early age my kids were taught that if it's swimming or PE or something else that day that you need stuff for then you'd better remember to shove it in your bag, along with your HW and take it. Otherwise you'll miss out. I can't remember when I stopped packing for holidays for them, but it was pretty much once they got to about 11 or so I suspect. Even before that it was expected that they sort out what they want to take and I'd give it a quick eye over and make sure that they hadn't forgotten to pack any pants or their toothbrush.

I'm amazed at what some women feel they 'should' do for another adult.

Nope. Never packed a holiday/work trip bag for him. Not once in nearly 2 decades

🥴 An art to it? Come off it.

Wow, you make feminism sound so vulgar.

His poor little man brain couldn’t possibly pack and hold down a job, just like its clearly unnatural for him to do laundry as washing machines are operated with a vagina.

That’s exactly it. ‘He wouldn’t ask’. That’s how it is with us. Packing a bag with your clothes and toiletries is as personal as deciding what to wear everyday, showering, looking after our health. We don’t need help with that stuff. And if he did need help because he was running late at work or whatever (he wouldn’t because he’d have done it before), he’d tell me exactly what he wanted and where to find it.

I worked from home whereas he does not but it’s irrelevant. I wanted to help my husband, I would’ve done it if I was in the office too

we lived together and I just thought ‘he’s been at work all week, coming back late - I’ll just make HIS life easier by packing his bag ready’

Had you not been at work all week then?

No never - my husband goes away a lot. He does his washing whilst hes away too.
My son has been packing his own bag since he was 10 ish (cubs and scouts!) and been doing is own laundry for 2/3 years (hes 19 now) including beds/towels.
My mum used to pack my dad's bag for holidays and when I was a child he would sometimes say - 'wheres my x or why didn't you bring my x' I mentally thought then (I'm never going to pack for another adult!).
My mum died last year and I had to teach my elderly father how to use a washing machine and change a bed.
My brother has also been taught how to use a washing machine and change a duvet as my sil realised he could also do neither! He does do his own packing though.

Genuinely cannot fathom why anybody would pack a bag for a fully-functioning grown adult?!!!
My husband would be appalled at even the suggestion! Tbh, he'd find it insulting.

I think you're putting a lot of thought into something that doesn't exist for the majority of people who pack DH bags.

Most have said that they do it to assist, to reciprocate helpfulness, save time, stress etc. I can't see anyone on here saying they do it because they don't trust their husband to pick his own clothing.

In fact, having reread your original post, even your friend didn't give this as a reason.

So, maybe it's not as weird as we all thought at first? Maybe your friend is just being a helpful partner and didn't know how to answer you when you questioned what she thought to be perfectly normal so she just threw you a 'nothing burger'?

That would be my take.

I would hate someone to pack for me. I make a list in advance of what I want to take, so I can make sure everything has been washed, or purchased ready.

I gather things together and mark of when packed so I don't forget anything. I couldn't do that if someone did it for me, so wouldn't relax until I could unpack and check I had everything.