Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

So, no, you're not willing to help him.

I do all the washing and what little ironing gets done in our house (school uniform basically, any additional items are by special request only and I’ll do it if/ when I have time).

Its never made sense to me to do it entirely separately - I just do what needs doing and tend to stick a load on each day.

It’s just the way the division of jobs fell, if I said I wasn’t doing it anymore or if I’m away he manages fine. He does the dishwasher and kitchen wipe down/ tidy at the end of each day for example.

I find that really odd too. Do people have separate laundry baskets? Even wash in this house is just whatever is in the basket when it's full. Nobody is picking out their own clothes and just washing them. Not done that since I stopped having flatmates.

It takes no time at all to chuck some shorts and a t-shirt in a bag. So if it’s no bother for me it’s no bother for him.
I work full time and manage to pack a gym bag and a lunch for every day, so he can manage it as well. And no, it’s not because I hate him 🙄.

Luckily DH behaves like a competent adult who can do things, and would also rather I didn’t go rooting through his drawers so I can find stuff. He knows exactly what he wants and where it is as he put it there in the first place.

For a family holiday we only take 1-2 bags so everyone gets their own stuff out and I pack it so I can make sure it all fits in. If he's going on his own I don't get involved.

I do most our washing and all the ironing, the division of household jobs somehow fell that way. DH could do both if he had to. He does most of the cleaning and washing up and deals with rubbish.

No, I never have. He basically wears the same outfit on repeat (has multiples of the same t-shirt/ jeans etc) because there’s some sensory stuff with clothes for him, and also because he has no idea of what goes together! So it wouldn’t be hard to know what he wanted to take, but it has never occurred to me to do so.

I will pack for myself and for DD who is 5, though she likes to be involved already.

If we’re doing a UK self catering break and taking food/ household stuff I’ll tend to be the one getting that together, though not always and this time (we’re away now) we couldn’t do that for various reasons so he went to the supermarket on day 1 to get what we’d need for the week which he’s perfectly capable of.

So if he decided later on in the day he'd like to go to the gym and didn't have a bag, would you really refuse to throw some stuff in a bag to help him?

Seems impossible that someone can hold down a job and not be able to pack a bag. This bag packing myst be an overhang from an era when men relied on women for care just as children do.

I get the ironing and packing, but washing? Isn't it just normal to put whatever is in the basket in when doing a wash? Neither my late wife or I ever just did our own clothes.

We'd just check that there's nothing specific that needs washing first.

There was a post on here the other day (probably a year ago 😂) from a woman who had had a row with her husband because he’d been on a stag where all the other men had had their bag packed by their wives. Just mind-boggling.

Amazing how many men find the art of “cramming it in” so difficult. 🙄

Does he pack yours?

Ah, here she is again!

I assume this balances out with him doing things for you?

I mean you don’t even have to do this. We normally share a case between us, I pack my own stuff in one half he packs his. Easy peasy.

I do because he does all the admin for the holiday which I don't want to do.

It's more about not being a doormat. His time is not more valuable than mine and he is not a helpless baby.
My kids are 8 and 10 and pack their own bags.

@ThejoyofNC It's so great you found each other. You'd probably hate my husband, he just gets on and does things. He'd pack a gym bag before going to work, and he'd also take it with him, so he can go directly to the gym from work and save some time, which he could then put to use doing his share of the housework.

I like this feature of my husband.

No, why on earth should I?

My husband has never packed a bag.

In fact, he will often call me on the way home from work to ask me to throw him a gym bag together so he can quickly grab it and go straight to the gym.

But I don't hate my husband so I'm happy to do things for him.

No.

No, he packs his own bag- he's a fully functioning adult not a manchild

When we go away together and share a suitcase my husband leaves out everything he wants to take and I pack it along with mine as I’m better at cramming stuff in.

The rest of the time he packs for himself as frankly I have enough to do and he’s not a helpless baby.

I pack very efficiently and so when we go away as a family I make everyone lay out their stuff on the spare bed and then I put everything into the cases because we don't have a case each. I frequently have to edit down DH's pile of stuff because he'll take 3 thick woolen jumpers and 4 pairs of jeans to Spain in the summer and frankly I need that space for other stuff. So I pack the cases but get everyone else to do the hard work. My teens have been able to sort their own stuff out for years with a bit of guidance.

But if DH is going away without me then he packs for himself (and the kids when they were little) and always has.

When I was young and my Mum was constantly travelling up and down to her parents as they were aging she would cook a weeks worth of meals in advance for my Dad, once I was a teen and able to cook I was the one who was responsible for the food (not my Dad)!