Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

I will pack a shared suitcase, but will not pick his clothes. He needs to do that

Suitcase is out around 4-5 days before leaving. Clothes get piled in it. I pack it all the night before. Whatever gets put in the suitcase gets packed. I don't check if he's out enough shirts in etc. when i do the actual packing.

Yes 8 year old dgc packs for himself under supervision. Working on rolling and packing cube method now

Nope. He does his own. Also his own washing. My mum used to pack for my dad until she forgot his underwear one year!

Dh’s gym bag is like Mary Poppins’s bag with a million different things so I wouldn’t dream of touching it or interfering.

Everyone has packed their own stuff here since they could count reliably, so from about 3 years old.
When they were little I would say each item aloud (eg 7 pairs of socks) and they would find them in their drawer and count them out, then we’d go on to the next item.

Once they could read, I gave them a written list.

I think from about 8 they were fully in charge of the whole process.

Things have sometimes been forgotten on trips. Everyone forgets things occasionally. We either muddle through, or buy a replacement.

I take charge of laundry and ironing for the whole household, so I do some of the work in that sense. Up to the owner to put them in the laundry basket with plenty of time before the trip though.

DH and I tend to share a bag, and each put our own stuff in it. But I would add his too when I was packing if it was already laid out on the bed, and it was obvious what he wanted to bring. He would do the same for me.

We just do what is easiest and most pragmatic rather than making a stand for the sake of it. We’re all happy to help each other out if needed.

You mean, you don't wipe it for him??? 😱😱

Do you hate your husband??

How do you know what your dh wants to wear on holiday.? Hiw is being a middle man between him and his case efficient?

Hell no.

It's a major faff with lots of lists and he takes everything but the kitchen sink.

Is his name Kevin?

I don’t hate my partner, in fact I quite like him. But I expect him to pack for himself (and in fact he would hate me packing for him). Liking someone doesn’t mean you have to behave like their mother.

Yes, similar here. If he’s away for work I have nothing to do with that.

If it’s for a holiday he puts it all out and we pack together working out the logistics of what to put where. We do it differently if we’re going on a road trip than if we’re watching the weight of individual suitcases.

Do I remind him of what to put out? Yes if there is a special trip we’re going, but not otherwise.

PIL have the opposite issue. FIL packs and MIL blames him when her hair tools aren’t there …

I tend to pack for everyone if it's a family holiday as it's more efficient. I am happy to do it and prefer it this way. DH does his own bag for a solo or work trip though.

I don't know why this is making some people so cross. Households work differently. I am in charge of some areas (including holidays and packing), DH is in charge of others. We don't do everything 50/50, we do things according to skills, inclination and availability.

Definitely not but I do rattle through a list of essentials once he has packed to double check he hasn’t forgotten everything. I do the same with my own stuff as so easy to forget.

Hell no. My 6yo, unprompted and without me needing to check, packed knickers, socks, trousers, tops, jumper, books and a teddy for a trip away. Nothing missed, she even managed to fold her clothes. These men must be laughing at their wives, thinking “what can I make her do for me today?”

I pack toilet roll for him so he can wipe his own arse

Not a chance. DH packs his own bag. As do all three DC (11, 14 and 17) and have been for years. I pack all the other shite we take with us but they pack their own stuff.

In fairness, he does try. But for example we went away last weekend, and I packed my bag and DCs bag on Thursday. I knew we were leaving at midday on Friday, so I just went upstairs and started packing for him. Then he panicked (very common amongst autistics) and had to try everything on first, even though we went through his clothes at Easter. If he hasn’t gone through them in the last week, he can’t take them on holiday. He just can’t.
It’s much easier if I do it when he’s out of the house - means no panic attacks or trying on every single item I pack!

Its a binary choice of love and hate now?

😂😂😂😂

I don't hate my husband either, but he can still pack his own bags!

Not entirely sure why your DH can't throw a gun bag together in the morning 🤔🤔

My DH works long hours and works hard for us, and we're grateful, but he can definitely spare 20 minutes to pack his own clothes.

I book all holidays, sort transport, insurance, parking at airports, book flights, sort visas, sort and book any activities, plan food/meals out, make sure passports are in order, sort car with petrol, service, Eu packs etc pack DDs stuff, retrieve holiday paraphernalia from shed/loft, pack car, drive car to wherever, get all toiletries sorted, sunscreen, chargers, packed lunches if required for journey, sort DDs car bag with books/puzzles/toys etc - all because I don't hate my husband and want him to have nice holidays with us. He literally just is a passenger.

All he has to do is book time off work and pack his own bags 😂

The only time I packed, was when we had 1 small suitcase between 3 of us as we didn't want to pay loads of baggage fees. Even then he needed the gather what he wanted...

So don't make out like we're absolute cunts for daring to suggest a fully functioning adult should be able to pack a small bag of clothes for themselves and we must hate that person.

But what's wrong with that? If he stuffs it in how does that affect you?

The only time I have packed a bag for my husband was when he got taken into hospital unexpectedly, as obviously he couldn't do so.

My husband has never been away on work trips (I have, lots) but for holidays I generally leave his packing to him. The exception is our long delayed (10 years!) honeymoon in a few weeks. We are, for once, staying in some very nice hotels and going on a short cruise, and I have insisted on input on what he takes and on ironing before the things are packed. This is because of two main things:

He started working from home during lockdown and has since retired, so he now wears much more casual clothes - he would never wear T-shirts for instance, it was always proper shirts and waistcoats and/or jackets

He has developed a huge liking for Temu, and has bought some really nasty cheap slimy shirts and T-shirts recently. There is no way I'm letting him wear those anywhere nice!

I'm making an effort to look nice, so I think he should too - and he does like looking nice - it's just that he seems to have forgotten what nice looks like. If we're just staying a couple of nights in a Premier Inn then it's up to him what he takes and wears, but this is different.

No, never. We did get into a pattern for a few years where I'd pack the kids bags while he moaned about how we were late but we have amended that so he is just as likely to pack for them or supervise their packing as I am (admittedly the task is much easier now they aren't small)

I think there's a difference between packing their bag as a kind gesture and packing their bag due to weaponised incompetence if that makes sense. My fella has his own system and has always preferred to do it himself though. I've been on the other side of the fence with a manchild ex who couldn't organise a piss in a toilet but I partly enabled that by doing everything for him and maybe she's doing the same 🙈