Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

Hmm so you have extra money to pay out for stuff as well if you get divorced?

Am laughing at paying someone to remove a bloody mouse. I'll do it for £20 for 20 seconds work

We just do what makes sense for us. I was fortunate enough to be able to negotiate a flexible work package without having to take a big drop in salary or career prospects in my chosen field when I had my DC. Why would we not have taken that? I am happy with it, I would hate to do DH's job but he likes it so that's what he does. I have enjoyed my increased involvement in family life, DH would have liked more.

To return to my original comment, there seems to be an awful lot of anger on this thread about things that the people it actually affects are happy with 🤷‍♂️

Oh, I see you are resorting to insults.

I'd disagree it's a sad existence. My husband is well aware I might be working to a deadline or presenting to a meeting with 300 people. He wouldn't think his desire to save a minute of his time would make it sensible to ping me a message asking me to pack his gym bag.

Genuinely, it's great you and your husband found each other. That's lovely. Continue being being happy with each other.

No my husband is an adult

I did used to pack my husband's bag when I had an easy job and he was frequently away whole weeks working all hours.

But he does it himself now that our work is even. We tend to have one person do all the packing for holiday as a family as it's easier to manage the bag contents that way - sometimes me, sometimes him.

Well I expect she would do some of it herself and pay people to do the things that she can't - isn't that what usually happens? My DH does the majority of servicing and repairs on our cars. I do none of it because I neither have the skills nor any interest in acquiring them. But I wouldn't stand wringing my hands crying "Oh woe is me, what is a poor woman to do?" if he wasn't here, I'd phone the garage, like most people of either sex do. But I'm grateful that DH does do it because it saves me the bother and a great deal of money.
Nobody would run a business where every employee had to do an equal percentage of every task in the process regardless of their aptitudes and interests, it would be ridiculously inefficient, so why would a family work best that way? We play to our strengths, or at least share the tedious jobs equitably. DH, DS and I went for a bike ride together yesterday evening. By the standards of some of the people on here, when we got home we should each have washed our own bike, then made ourselves something to eat induvidually before doing 3 loads of laundry. That would be a ridiculous waste of time, money and energy. We're a family, not a bunch of individuals sharing a house - though to be honest, my DS cooperates more with his flatmate at University than some people on here seem to with their supposed life partners!

I would divorce if a man expected me to pack his bag yes. Fortunately I wouldn’t have married that type of man!

We do plenty of tiny kindnesses for each other every day and have been together 30 years very happily. But they aren’t decided or divided along gender lines as the OP is suggesting she thought was the norm.

Packing a bag is not something only women can do, as evidenced by the many many women on here married to men who pack their own bags.

No problem dividing roles between you because one person enjoys them more than the other but dividing them along some imagine male/female capability lines is just odd.

No way! 100% DH can look after himself in our house.
I also don't do his ironing or put his clothes away or make his pack lunch (I do make sure there are leftovers or something for his lunch in the house)

Is there anyone on here or even IN THE WORLD whose DH WFH and does their packing because the woman is out of the house longer hours?
Thought not.
Just like all these families who say "oh I went down to part time hours because it makes sense for us, it's nothing to do with the pay gap between the sexes" and you never hear about the reverse.
It's "the personal is political" writ large.

No never

I watched my mum do all this stuff back in the 70s and 80s and determined I was going to go down the same path.

I loved my rather helpless Dad but I knew I would never be attracted to a man who couldn’t live life independently including cooking for themselves, taking care of their own hygiene (there’s women on here complaining about husbands who don’t shower or brush their teeth!), buying and being able to wash/iron their own clothes and be equally capable of looking after their own children. Packing their own bag seems the very least of the responsibilities of being an adult.

What a sad existence where such a small thing is seen as an interruption and an imposition.

No wonder the divorce rate is so high. Some of you are completely unwilling to do anything at all to help eachother, you're so obsessed with 50/50 division.

Or, you know, he could start acting like an adult who is responsible for his own life and does not rely on other people to carry his mental load and just write a list of stuff needed on holiday (he can even ask for you to have a look over it when he thinks it's complete) and then just use that list over an over again. It's what most people do and there even are templates on the internet .
For number of underwear you just use days+1, and for sweaters its days/2 or days/3. He'll be able to figure the "math" out, since he has a few years of experience with wearing clothes.
I would probably forget the charger as well. Or something else. That's why I use a list.

No! We do plenty for each other but how do I know what he wants to wear/take?

I knew a woman who did this every time her DH went somewhere - even on his own. He expected it and would get a monk on if she hadn't packed the right stuff for him.

I think she was a bit shocked when I laughed like a drain and said, "No way!!!!!"

Women who do this are complicit in patriarchy! Pack your own sodding stuff.

I can't get my head around why a wife would be such a doormat!

I'll assist ASD DH with what to pack, but I don't pack for him. In the past he has had to go and buy emergency pants and socks on work trips, so that reinforced his learning! But it seems very common for the wife to pack for everyone.

No, he's better at packing than me. I do help my DS pack his bag though and he's just turned 29🤣🤣

@Am99 Why are you packing a grown man's bag?!!
Out of interest, do you work at all?

What n earth would you do if divorced or windowed lol.

I

I don't pack "his" bag because he would only have his own bag if he was going away on his own so nothing to do with me. Otherwise all our bags are shared as we take as few as possible so I like to pack them myself in one go. Everyone lays out what they want but I do the actual packing because I get a certain sense of satisfaction from it.

Same reason I do 90% of everything to do with laundry and clothes in general and he does 90% of everything to do with food.

I do! As does my mother does for my father and as does my MIL for FIL. I thought it was much more normal than it seems to be on here!

it doesn’t make my husband incompetent and for sure could pack his own case but he does other stuff I would never dream of doing. Oil changes, fixtures in the house, car washes, he takes the bins out, takes mice out of the cat brings them in

Love these threads like no I don't even pack the 1 year olds change bag, he does it himself

Like others, if we're going away together AND flying, he puts out all his stuff, and I split between 2 cases, with mine.
Any other scenario, he packs his own bag.
But I do know that my SIL packs for her husband!

I didn't even know there were different types of dental floss, let alone that they differed enough that anyone's holiday could be impacted by the "wrong" one.