Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

He doesnt have a responsibility to buy you a car. You have one.

You're what, early 30s now? Why cant you get a job? How did he fuck your finances, and still be able to afford a 90k car?

The OP has not mentioned flooding once, but you have now mentioned it at least 3 times. I live very rurally - in the North York Moors. There are many steep hills. There are narrow roads. There are bends. We get floods now and again. There are sheep. Possibly werewolves. Despite this loads of local people do perfectly well with perfectly normal cars, including Fiat 500s. It is fine. Stop being wet.

Then make the CMS do their job properly and take into account his dividends, lifestyle incompatible with income etc

But that isn’t why she’s concerned. She’s concerned because she feels entitled to a bigger car.

Whether OP feels it’s right or wrong, they are now separated parents in different households. If she wants a bigger car, she will need to buy it herself. Where would it end otherwise? A bigger car again in 15 years time when they are teens and need more leg room?

All those saying he should fund a new car for her, I wonder whether their answer would be the same if OP was the higher earner and he was demanding SHE bought HIM a new car!!

Fiat 500 is NCAP 5 star. It’s obviously not a great family car. His car is definitely a high class family car! it’s also 5 star but there’s a big difference in these cars. As a mum, I’ve no idea why the op had a Fiat 500 in the first place.

30 mins is not far. Plus she needs to disable front air bags with a child in the front seat. That makes it less safe. Ex is clearly not looking out for dc but neither has op. She just had a girly run around.

Obviously ex doesn’t care but we don’t know what money he has. The Fiat is ok but needs replacing. It does have 2 seats in the back though so not sure why dc aren’t in the back.

Unreasonable and absolutely ridiculous in my opinion.

I was, ahem, speeding on a the motorway recently and was overtaken by a Fiat 500!

It's obviously a shitty situation but at least you've got a car to use. Can you get a smaller stroller that'll fit in the boot or front seat so that your LO can sit in the back?

30 minutes away is slightly more than my daily drive to the rail station 🥴

There is a lot of fixation on 4x4's and SUV's

1. Unless you have the proper training a 4X4 is just a bigger vehicle to lose control of
2. Whatever you have unless its amphibious you should NEVER enter water in a vehicle, 4x4 owners have a lethal tendency to do this
3. If the weathers poor then look at the forecast and whats happening and make an appropriate decision irrespective if if you are in a Fiat 126 or a Range Rover - and the decision in most cases should be identical

Fair point. 😌

Maybe counselling instead of driving lessons or both.

There is nothing wrong with a Fiat 500, and 30 minutes is not "long distance", it's not even mid-distance, it's quite a short trip. YABVVVVVU. You should probably get supplementary driving lessons to improve your confidence.

I’m so sorry OP, you are very bitter and understandably so. In your position I would ask for nothing for him - he won’t give it to you anyway and will love your desperation I suspect. I would howeve use any legal means at my disposal as some helpful posters have suggested.
Im afraid you are just going to have to drive to the school despite your discomfort with your car - of course you put your children first and I applaud you for that. But I don’t get why you have to drive to your ex’s place at all. He moved away, so he can pick up and drop off his children. I would not be accommodating him in any way. Ok, if he doesn’t like it he can take you to court and force you to - well let him then. Refuse until that happens.

I completely understand because I’ve lost
my confidence in driving as I’ve got older so I won’t drive on motorways anymore and I don’t have to anyway.
If he’s moved away then he should be collecting them anyway. If you’d be happy to compromise would you be willing to drive them nearer to him but not get on the motorway? I mean a different route where you can avoid it but you’re still showing willing?

Everyone is focusing on the motorway.
But, the location of his new home is very rural. We don’t know where. But if a hilly and prone to flooding I can see why she is concerned.
In some places many people have a 4x4 for a reason !

From what I have seen the occupant death rate in SUV's is higher than other cars as they have a tendency to turn over

https://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyamohn/2025/02/28/bigger-vehicles-arent-always-safer-they-can-even-be-more-dangerous/

I have a Fiat 500 and I don't take it on the motorway - for some reason it goes into limp home mode! Trying to get to the bottom of it, but no one can find anything "wrong" with it. It does feel very small, especially going past lorries etc!

I'm not arguing about any of that. I'm sure OP's grievances are fair and legitimate. But pretending a Fiat 500 can't do motorways and hills for 30 minutes is pretty lame. If this is true her car isn't roadworthy at all and/or she isn't competent enough to drive it. Deal with the issues.

That isn't actually true.

I drove kids around in a Kia Picanto, which is tiny. It was fine.

They are less safe simply because you have less metal around you in an accident.

YABU. A Fiat 500 is perfectly OK for motorway driving with, or without, a child in a rear facing front seat.

Depends on the fiat 500. Is it the 900cc one? They are very bouncy/jittery and do mess up one's back on a long journey. the 1.2 one is much smoother.

It’s worth about 2k, so not really! Maybe I’ll just refuse to drive until ex pulls his finger out his arse

You could get a bigger car for £2K plus a bit.

How is he getting away with fraud- ie saying he earns a pittance when he's earning a huge amount and has a car worth over £100k?

Have you taken legal advice on the lies he's telling for your child maintenance?

Small cars are not intrinsically less safe. Any car on the market in the last 40 or so years will have been designed to be safe and suitable for motorway driving.