Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

In my view your problems can be solved by targeted driving lessons--you explain your particular issue and the instructor will get you used to motorways and hills in a comparable car and a safe environment. Not worth restricting your freedom due to these fears.

Modern small cars, even those with a engine of one litre or thereabouts, have power outputs of over 60PS. A lot more than the Issigonis Mini 850/1000 many of us cut our driving teeth on 40+ years ago. Mine went up Wrynose and Hard Knott with no difficulty albeit in second gear.

Twice when hiring cars in Madeira the agent has tried to tell me the car I've chosen is 'only' one litre and might struggle on the steep island roads. An upgrade is available at a not inconsiderable number of Euros.

I'm not sure 'do I look as though I'm still wet behind the ears' translates into Portuguese but asking how their Grandparents managed in the era of the 2CV and Renault 4 would do the job.

The first time she'd actually folded the hire agreement in such a way as to conceal the engine being (I think) 110PS. It was certainly north of 90.

My friend has an old VW UP. He is a single dad and he and his son go everywhere in it, and he would certainly never be asking his ex to upgrade it for him.

I've driven 1 litre Aygos on the motorways for years, its only now that I've gone hybrid that I went to a slightly bigger car with a slightly more powerful engine, but a Fiat 500 will be fine. You just need to drive it to the speed everyone else is doing.

My aygo is a trooper car so im not buying this 😂
do you want him to get you a new car?

So this maybe about him upgrading your car rather than you being a nervous driver. You've mentioned several times the car your ex drives, its immaterial which car you drive - but how you drive. I've driven1572 miles Birmingham to Faro in a vw UP, it doesn't matter what the car is just drive safely.

If you are really a nervous driver then a course of motorway driving would be useful.

30 mins away is hardly the arse end of nowhere

Why isn’t he picking the DC up?

But I don't understand living where I do! In fact one of the most useful attributes a car can have in my situation - more so than 4wd, ground clearance or wading depth - is to be reasonably narrow. Big cars being driven by poor drivers are a total pain for all concerned on tight country roads, doubly so if they're precious about them and think driving up a grass verge will cause their Range Rover to explode.

I understand you're nervous, but you need to get over it and drive. Like others have said, lessons might be a good option. Otherwise, you will never drive anywhere apart from in town, if 30 minutes, and hills, scares you. Good practice if you want to go away for a weekend somewhere in the UK. This is your issue, you need to fix it.

I drove a Micra for years in the 80s/90s. Iwas perfectly happy driving it on the motorway. I have to say though that as I’ve got older I prefer a medium sized car, my last two have been A3s.

OP, you haven't said how much of this journey is actually on the motorway. Given that it's 30 minutes away and you say there are all those hills and sharp bends, it must be fairly minimal?

How do you cope only limiting yourself to places that don't require a motorway trip? That sounds so limiting.

But yes, YABU to limit yourself and your kids, the 'I don't want to drive on a motorway because of my car' sounds like a really flimsy excuse. You can stay in the left hand lane pootling along at 60mph if you really needed to. I think the answer here is to increase your confidence driving.

They were literally built for the Italian hills and mountains to replace donkeys.

I’ve got a little car, it’s our main car it goes and does everything. It’s great. Never underestimate the little ones.
this is a you thing not a car thing, maybe book some lessons or get a confident driver to take you out to get your confidence up.

And how do you suggest they get to school - the school she fudged information to get them into?

He needs to pick them off then drop them back again.

Errr, I'm not sure you quite understand how normal forum interaction occurs.

Don’t tell me. Tell the OP then.

I lived on the side of a mountain until recenlty, one of the highest houses in the country, I had an 03 Fiesta when DD was a baby, it was fine. We never had a 4x4 and only got snowed in a handful of time, 4 days last winter was the longest, and it was great fun!!

I was trying to understand where her anxiety was coming from.
My original post mentioned flooding because depending on her location I wondered if it was something that could happen. And why a larger car makes sense. As you will understand living where you do.
It would seem she feels aggrieved that her ex is not willing to stump up some cash to help her buy a bigger car.
Given that situation I would, as I originally suggested, think he has to pick up his children.

Half an hour? I thought you meant an hour at least.

YABU, and possibly a bit bloody minded.

You sound similar to my mother. She also won't drive on the motorway, regardless of what she is driving, because she is too anxious... and that was reinforced by one of her parents. As a result, her world (and ours, when we were younger) is very small. I did not want to be stuck there forever (as I was encouraged to be), so I started motorway driving in the 'slow' lane and at quieter times to build up my confidence, just on short journeys at first... in a Toyota Aygo. Since then, I've been all over England and into Wales. I've never had an accident.

Anxiety takes over your life, if you let it. It's hard to get past it, but it's doable, in small steps. Once you've done it a few times, it builds your confidence and you question why you were so reluctant in the first place!

As long as there are HGVs on the road, any car of any size is 'small' and vulnerable in comparison. Yes a Fiat 500 is a little bit smaller than the average car, but it is the size of the HGV that matters more in this equation.
Treat lorries with respect whatever car you are in and crack on with life.

Honestly, after you've done it a few times you will feel confident, I promise. You could always do it with a driving instructor if you are really anxious. I think that unfamiliar roads are hard, but with familiarity it becomes much easier: you know where to pause and where to speed up.

I've always had ancient small cars. Big cars give a false sense of security IMO.

Can you get smaller seats for both of them? We managed a four year old and a one year old rear-facing in a Fiat 500... You need a more slimline seat but it is possible.