Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

I don't think that's even remotely a possibility, how can a half hour drive mostly on a motorway put you in the middle of nowhere, where a modern car won't cope?

I've seen cars of all sizes fail to climb some steep roads in the Lake District. Imagine blowing the engine on such a slope and then being a woman stuck with small kids in middle of nowhere. She's right to be put off and a bit scared.

And I'll make mine, which is that any one of those cars meets a very acceptable level of safety, and I wouldn't hesitate to drive any of them.

This is the OP having a tantrum because her ex won't buy her a bigger car.

YABU about the motorway vs fiat 500 and 30min drive being long distance.

As it’s only half an hour exH needs to do the pick ups and drop offs.

If it was a longer journey, I would have suggested a half way pick up point but here is literally no need.

Why are you having to go to him? If its visitation. Why isn't he coming to collect his children?
Those saying shes being unreasonable. Why can’t he come collect his own children?

You have that choice to make, OP doesn’t, she owns a Fiat 500.

She could be hit at traffic lights by a truck in a city? So why ever have a Fiat 500? Where is it safe to drive? Most accidents on city’s and fatal accidents on rural roads.

I’d choose an armoured car, but it’s unlikely I’m going to be in an accident anyway.

So ask yourself a question. In a pile up, where you were hit by a truck and pushed into the back of a van, which car do you think the cabin will survive better…. A Toyota Aygo/ Smart Car/ Fiat 500, or a Ford Kuga/BMW X5/Land Rover Discovery.

I’ll make my choice.

No they’re a car like any other and perfectly acceptable to drive on motorways.

I don’t think they are necessarily easier to drive - it’s more that people can be scared and nervous and want the protection of a massive car. I’m not saying all big car drivers - I’ve driven many a big car over the years.

Look OP, I didn't mean to be a bitch when I was the first one to comment that you want him to buy you a bigger car, but by your own admission, it is what you want. So this has nothing to do with country lanes, motorways or safety.

This is you being fuelled by anger, using excuses to try and be difficult, to guilt and punish ex into buying you a car. Did you tell him that you need a new car, if so what did he say?

Refusing to drive the children to him is not going to make him change his mind. Please understand, I am not dismissing the fact that he may or may not be a dick, and that he may not be declaring his benefits (which you need to advise the authorities of) I also get that you have spent a lot of time and energy on your relationship and came out short financially. Which you are partly to be blamed for, as even no decision is a decision, and you chose to be in that relationship assuming he didnt hold you captive.

I get that you are feeling anger towards the way ex treated you, and that life didn't turn out the way you thought it would. I get the dissapointment and anger and pain.

To be blunt, the only advice I can give you is, that it is time to pucker up, put your big girl pants on and show that man that you don't need him and teach your children how to be independent and confident and not to rely on anybody else, stop playing the victim and be the independent most amazing woman you can be, that will teach him, not sulking about a car.

You are in charge of how this works out, nobody else.

a car not meeting the safety standards OP is comfortable doesn’t make her unreasonably anxious. I wouldn’t ever front face my children before the age of 4. Lots of parents do. A tiny proportion of those parents lose their children due to that decision. I won’t be one of them, it’s not a risk I’m willing to take. I don’t care if that’s something you want to mock.

Oh that's ridiculous.

I just drove my father's old car, a Citroen C1, from North Wales to Somerset ( 4.5hrs) and will be driving his new car which is a Fiat 500 from Somerset to Cornwall next week for him. He no longer drives long distances due to age.

Provided your car is roadworthy a 30 minute drive is nothing

The problem isn't the car.

For years and years I drove Ford KAs, which are certainly comparable in size to a Fiat 500, if not smaller. I drove them here, there and everywhere. If anything, they are excellent rural cars, because they are small and nippy.

My parents lived also in the arse-end of nowhere, and I drove there perfectly happily. I also worked very rurally for a time.

Maybe invest in some lessons, just to boost your confidence.

I know so many women who won't drive in the motorway. Sometimes it's from a bad experience but often it's from the man becoming the default driver, especially long distance, and just getting nervous over time from lack of exposure

YABVU. It’s a legally safe car. There are rigorous and stringent car regulations for safety.

No, they're designed, like every other vehicle on the road, to be fully suitable for driving on every sort of road that exists.

Personally, I would not drive on a motorway in a tiny car like a Fiat 500. They are designed for town driving.

However modern and full of airbags they are, no amount of those changes the basic physics that it is a tiny car and the crumple zone is small. At least in a bigger car you stand a chance of having some of the cabin left in an accident and that could be the difference between life, death and a very seeious injury.

It’s only 30 minutes away? I live in a city and you wouldn’t have to move very far at all to make it a 30 minute drive away. Surely no one would criticise such a move?

Huh.

30 mins is not a long journey. Barely registers on my scale.

Motorways are the safest roads. A modern Fiat 500 is so much safer than whatever older cars you have driven/were driven in on a motorway growing up or as a younger driver. It really isn't a reason not to drive on the motorway.

When driving on the motorway - the most important thing for safety is keep up with the rest of the traffic. Doing 50 mph will cause chaos around you - doing 70 mph will mean you're just part of the regular flow.

But anyway, there are almost certainly a network of A- and B-roads that will get you there in 45 mins or so. You know... the ones that existed before the motorway? Probably existed before cars in fact... as tracks for horses.

So basically, no, it is no reason at all.

So many posters seem to have missed that the op lied to get the kids into a school near their dad, and that’s why she drives there so often.

its not him shirking picking them up

i mean, maybe he does, and he’s shirking cms, but the need to drive there so often is self inflicted

The problem is it becomes a vicious cycle. A driver lacking in confidence avoids situations which make them anxious. Lack of experience then compounds the anxiety. If they have no choice but to drive in those conditions they are unprepared and yes, potentially unsafe. The solution to this is to drive more not less. If you are nervous of driving on the motorway but need to take your kids on it sometimes get some practice without them. Increase your confidence.

The Late Queen was proud of her service in the ATS and ability to repair vehicles

That was driving heave vehicles with no power brakes & steering, crash gearboxes etc

Now thats a model to follow!

I have not long passed my test, I have a car that is the same size as a Fiat 500 and is also very, very old. From the get go I have done all sorts of driving, in all sorts of conditions. It makes me bloody worried that there are so many nervous drivers out there. If you are that anxious you really shouldnt be driving.

FYI learners are allowed on the motorway with a driving instructor with dual controls and with L plates.

I appreciate you are nervous but what exactly is it about having a small car that make you feel you cannot do these journeys?
Ive got a small car and drive a lot every day. I suppose I’d feel higher up in a big Range Rover but it’s still just a car.
Id strongly recommend some refresher driving lessons as this problem will end up causing you significant issues.