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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

515 replies

CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:11

What the title says really!

DC’s Dad and I aren’t together. He moved 30 minutes away and now lives in the countryside.
He expects me to drive to his new home but it’s very hilly and is in the arse end of nowhere, I really don’t feel comfortable driving there in my small car. For reference his own Mum also won’t drive there in her small car.

I also really don’t like motorway driving in my car as I feel nervous as it’s so small and I have to put my youngest in the front seat rear facing. This means anywhere the children need to go that includes motorway driving DC’s Dad has to take them.

I can’t afford to upgrade my car at the moment.

DC’s Dad thinks I’m being unreasonable about driving but he has a huge car (I would feel safe if I had his car as the children are all in proper car seats in the middle of back of the car).

AIBU?

OP posts:
CalliopeFosterBeauchamp · 01/06/2026 22:33

CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:29

It’s so annoying! I’m just so nervous to drive any sort of distance especially with my 17 month old rear facing in the front. There’s just nothing to protect them if something happened!

Show quote history

If that’s the main thing that’s worrying you, could you change car seat to a front facing one?

https://www.childcarseats.org.uk/types-of-seat/

Types of Seat | Child Car Seats

Types of child car seats according to the weight of children must conform to the United Nations standard, ECE Regulation 44.04 or R 44.03.

https://www.childcarseats.org.uk/types-of-seat

Summerbay23 · 01/06/2026 22:33

In this case it’s 30 minutes YABU. And I’m guessing not much of it is on a motorway since you have hills and rural roads to drive too (which will be fine in a fiat 500) plus getting to the motorway your end.

Original poster
CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:33

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 01/06/2026 22:31

Wait - you have two kids? Cant you put them both in the back then?

I can’t get both car seats in the back with youngest DC still being rear facing. It’s a nightmare.

OP posts:
NoCommentingFromNowOn · 01/06/2026 22:33

He cared we had a safe car when we were together but suddenly our safety doesn’t matter.

Fiat 500s are safe, it’s your nerves that are making you feel unsafe.

eatreadsleeprepeat · 01/06/2026 22:31

I hate being on a motorway in a small, low car, feel very vulnerable with so many lorries.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 01/06/2026 22:31

Wait - you have two kids? Cant you put them both in the back then?

Original poster
CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:30

Edenmum2 · 01/06/2026 22:28

You’re being mad, a fiat 500 is perfectly capable of driving on any roads (even hills!)

do you just not want to do it because you’re pissed he moved away?

If I’m honest I think the fair thing to do would have been to make sure the mother of his children had a suitable car to transport our children in.

He cared we had a safe car when we were together but suddenly our safety doesn’t matter.

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 01/06/2026 22:30

The car is fine, but if he moves he needs to do the driving.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 01/06/2026 22:29

What engine size is it?

I would definitely have some extra lessons, a bit of motorway and a bit of general driving confidence? You’ll be surprised how much it’ll help.

Is there an alternative route that isn’t motorway? Have a look at google maps, I think you can set the routes there to non motorway.

Yes, he should be doing the bulk of the drive as he chose to move, BUT still increase your confidence so you can take the children places.

No comment on the car seat, I am very out of date with the rules nowadays.

TheMimsy · 01/06/2026 22:29

@CheeseSandwich1 regardless of not wanting to drive on motorways etc - he’s moved away. Therefore the onus is on him to do the travelling to his children.

ObliviousCoalmine · 01/06/2026 22:29

It’s things like this that make men think they’re superior.

30 minutes on a motorway and up some hills, what nonsense.

Original poster
CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:29

tillyfilth · 01/06/2026 22:27

Maybe it's just me but that seems mad. I'd go insane not being able to travel about with the kids. OP motorways are the roads you are least likely to crash on. Rural A roads are the most dangerous. You are far safer on a motorway than on the majority of other roads.

Show quote history

It’s so annoying! I’m just so nervous to drive any sort of distance especially with my 17 month old rear facing in the front. There’s just nothing to protect them if something happened!

OP posts:
Edenmum2 · 01/06/2026 22:28

You’re being mad, a fiat 500 is perfectly capable of driving on any roads (even hills!)

do you just not want to do it because you’re pissed he moved away?

Original poster
CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:27

nomas · 01/06/2026 22:25

YANBU. How old are DC?

4 and 17 months.

Ex has a brand new Defender 8 seater thing so I think it’s pretty unfair to say I’m being silly when he’s driving round in a tank!

OP posts:
AuDrusilla · 01/06/2026 22:27

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 01/06/2026 22:26

Yabu about the motorway driving

Hiweber, if the dc's dad chose to move then the onus is on him to do the driving for contact.

If it went to court they would at most tell you you had to do 1 way or meet half way on both trips.

You need tongetnover your fear. A modern Fiat 500 is perfectly safe, however why is your uoungestnin the front? How many kids do you have.

They wouldn't do a half way with a 30 minute drive i wouldn't have thought?

One way each more likely?

tillyfilth · 01/06/2026 22:27

CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:22

No I don’t because my youngest has to go in the front rear facing and I’m so scared about having an accident.

I used to be a really confident motorway driver when I was in a bigger car. My Dad also doesn’t motorway drive due to being in multiple serious accidents so I think his anxiety has rubbed off on me,

Show quote history

Maybe it's just me but that seems mad. I'd go insane not being able to travel about with the kids. OP motorways are the roads you are least likely to crash on. Rural A roads are the most dangerous. You are far safer on a motorway than on the majority of other roads.

AmberTigerEyes · 01/06/2026 22:26

30 minutes is long distance?! 😂😆🥴

In all seriousness, you are being wildly unreasonable.
You can drive on the motorway and over hills in a Fiat 500.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 01/06/2026 22:26

Yabu about the motorway driving

Hiweber, if the dc's dad chose to move then the onus is on him to do the driving for contact.

If it went to court they would at most tell you you had to do 1 way or meet half way on both trips.

You need tongetnover your fear. A modern Fiat 500 is perfectly safe, however why is your uoungestnin the front? How many kids do you have.

Moonmelodies · 01/06/2026 22:26

Are we talking about a proper 1960s Fiat 500 or those nasty modern versions?

nomas · 01/06/2026 22:25

YANBU. How old are DC?

Squirrelchops1 · 01/06/2026 22:25

30 minutes

Original poster
CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:25

Wre · 01/06/2026 22:24

30 minutes? It takes me longer to get to work, the supermarket, to see friends- anywhere!

Did you have the car before you had dc?

I did. It’s my first car. I used to use our family car when I was with DC’s Dad.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:24

WoollyandSarah · 01/06/2026 22:22

If he moved, he should do the driving.

I wouldn't buy a tiny car like that - there's nothing to protect you in a crash. As you've said, you can't change your car now, but presumably you bought it for low speed, local journeys, which are less likely to end in a significant accident.

It was fine when I was only doing local journeys and had a large family car. My Fiat is my first car that I just kept but since the breakup it’s now the only car I have access to.

OP posts:
Wre · 01/06/2026 22:24

30 minutes? It takes me longer to get to work, the supermarket, to see friends- anywhere!

Did you have the car before you had dc?

Original poster
CheeseSandwich1 · 01/06/2026 22:22

tillyfilth · 01/06/2026 22:20

Do you literally never take your kids anywhere that requires you going on a motorway?

No I don’t because my youngest has to go in the front rear facing and I’m so scared about having an accident.

I used to be a really confident motorway driver when I was in a bigger car. My Dad also doesn’t motorway drive due to being in multiple serious accidents so I think his anxiety has rubbed off on me,

OP posts:
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