Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

Road damage is mainly driven by axle weight, it’s proportional to (I believe) the fourth power of it, rather than to the speed.

No car today is a "biscuit tin" - they all have side impact protection, and crumple zones front and rear. They're far safer than all the cars we were driven around in as kids.

The only reason I wouldn't drive a Fiat 500 is because I think they look absolutely ridiculous, and I can't understand why anyone would want one. They're absolutely solid and safe, though - all modern cars are. If I had one, there's no way I'd not make certain journeys in it.

Weirdly my little Smart ForTwo feels much more solid than my friends Fiesta. I find her car quite ‘tinny’ in comparison whenever I’m in it.

I do agree with a PP though, lots of people behave like utter dicks when you have a small car. I’ve got a dash cam now due to the amount of idiots who pull out in front of me and cut me up. And don’t get me started on the drivers on the motorway pottering along at 60mph who seem to be mortally offended when I go to overtake them and suddenly speed up.

Oh definitely - I'm sure if the OP's sister (for example) lived in a village 30 mins away, that involved a stretch of motorway driving, a hill and a bend, she'd be fine with it.

I agree, it really is....

But the OP has made it clear that she only feels "safe" in a bigger car, and that her ex should have bought her one.

Any other view on here will get shouted down.

A lot of this moaning about the car sounds like weaponised incompetence.

To be fair, a Fiesta is a bigger car than a Fiat 500...but I imagine a Fiesta feels like a biscuit tin to a Golf driver. I wouldn't want to drive a long distance in either, because I value comfort, but I do recognise they would both be perfectly capable of being used that way :)

Sorry, with respect, you're being ridiculous I have a smart Forfour and it does not restrict me driving anywhere.

Why the drama? What exactly is a nightmare!! Rear facing is safer by a long way. Your child is in a safe car seat in a safe position. I have only ever driven small cars, they are not “less safe”. Don’t see the point in massive cars. Our family car has always been small. Regularly drive 300miles plus mostly on motorways. You need to get some support for your anxiety. You are the issue here not the car.

Although if your ex has moved then whether or not it’s your job to drive to him is a different question.

That's absolute nonsense, though. If small cars were more dangerous, they'd cost more to insure than bigger cars, but they're much cheaper.

In fairness to OP, there is something in this small car business IMO.

My dad was a taxi driver, driven everywhere for a living all over the country, he never had any problems UNTIL he got a 'small' car as his personal car, people used to pull out on him all the time, cut him up, it's like people see a small car and think they can bully it out of the way, or don't see it maybe?

It has happened to me too, I've always had an estate, but as soon as I drive round in my husbands citreon, people are generally more pushy and inconsiderate.. it's happened too many times to be a coincidence.

If that happens to you frequently I could see why it would make someone a more nervous driver, especially with two young kids in the car.

This is unbelievable pathetic weedy . Can you imagine a man saying that he can’t drive on motorways ?
Guess what ? I was nervous about driving on Motorways until … I drove on motorways ! Just get in the left lane until you realise that it’s not rocket science.

As for hilly .. honestly get a grip. We went all around the Lake District in our fiat 500. Including wrynose , hardknot and Hinton passes which are amongst the steepest in England. You just need to use your gear stick appropriately.

It’s also relevant to remind readers that no aspect of driving requires. ‘ benefit of penis’ they work equally as well without.

Millions of people drive small and tiny cars it’s just a fear your letting control you.

Also if you get found out about school you’ll end up with two options he loses his place or your child will actually have to be living at his dads most of the time to be entitled to the school place.

You’ve been royalty fucked tbh in that aspect.

When I first read the post I agreed with you OP - I drive literally hundreds of miles for work each week and some areas I drive through are abhorrently awful. Tiny single track roads with very steep incline bends are my worst. There’s one road in Wales I’ve driven through a few times (I forget each time!) and the bushes either side of the road literally scrape down my car on both sides. How I have not met with another car on either occasion is a sheer miracle

So on that respect I sort of get it if the roads are like that. I am however in a decent sized VW Tiguan but I’ve done them that often my anxiety is definitely reduced now. IF I had a tiny car I’d find these roads a lot easier to navigate purely because if there was something oncoming, a smaller car is easier to navigate to the side of a road for cars to squeeze past

However 30 minutes drive isn’t long distance so I think YAB - slightly - U here. Im guessing around half of this is motorway, possibly more. So looking at maybe 10-15 minutes along awful roads?

I think what you also need to bear in mind is along roads like those, in my experience other drivers also tend to drive carefully too - and if they really are that bad they are marked as unsuitable for HGVs so would only be actual cars you would need to worry about. I know that’s only of little comfort but also in my experience HGV drivers will tend to push on as they have their own deadlines, whereas other car drivers tend to care about their vehicles

Might be a time to put your big girl pants on, deep breath and go for it. I’d have it that you drop off and he returns. Just take your time. Ignore any cars that get up your arse - it’s a lot easier to follow a car than lead - so that’s why it’s easy for people to drive up your arse. I tend to drive slower when people do this anyway.

Other alternative is, could he meet you at the motorway junction? Is there a little slip road you could pull into off the junction? A fuel station perhaps? I used to often do a halfway point drop off with my ex too. Then you only have the motorway side to worry about

Yanbu, driving with kids is anxiety inducing, but perhaps not as stressful as posting on mumsnet so well done.

I have same car, also hate motorway driving, but mainly because of the motorways not the car.

For peace of mind: double check your breakdown cover, make sure the phone number is easily accessible on your phone or in glovebox. Get a couple of motorway driving lessons with a calm instructor. And stop beating yourself up about it, this is a natural response to your dad's accident.

I’m only giving you my experience. DD got a fiesta in the end and it just feels “weightier” for want of a better word.

I’m sure the Fiat 500 passes all the road safety rules but it genuinely felt like driving a Quality Street tin on wheels. I did a 4 hour round trip - A roads, not motorways - and was a nervous wreck by the end. I am an experienced and competent driver not usually overtaken by nerves.

In my eyes a Fiat 500 is an expensive car too!

Surely most small cars could be described in the same way? And as Defenders also got panned on this thread, it seems that most cars are deemed unsuitable for hills, villages, motorways or driving to an ex’s house!

This is what I think.

A Fiat 500 is perfectly fine for motorway driving. Obviously it’s not going to work for off road driving or something but on all normal roads it’s fine!

But he has the responsibility for driving because he moved to the middle of nowhere!

I get it OP❤️ I drove a Fiat 500 as a hire car and it felt like a biscuit tin on wheels. My DD wanted to buy one for her first car but I vetoed it because I felt they were so insubstantial they wouldn’t protect her in an accident with a larger, heavier vehicle.

Your X sounds like a knob of the highest order. You will get through this and life will get better. Your kids will judge him when they are older and truly understand.

Are there any campaigns against fat cars? I'd back them if there were. Or petitions to parliament that people know of?
Edited to add - just got my tax bill for my little 22 year old polo and it is £275.... Why? It doesn't smash up the roads like fat cars do, emissions are not terrible and it fits in a parking space with room around it.

Indeed. And most of us are tired of the number of poor drivers who decide they "have to" drive a car as huge as a tank and then take up two parking spaces/fail to navigate country lanes/ mow down children having a picnic Infront of their school

They come out terribly in reliability surveys, in large part down to electrical problems.

We’ve a Range Rover, which we love for long journeys with lots of luggage but are aware that they are both unreliable and cost a fortune to insure.

I think people despair slightly at the “I’m just a poor wee woman who is scared to drive” act.

A modern fiat 500 is absolutely fine for hills, mountains and motorways.

Yes you tend to spend more time in lower gears and with your foot to the floor than you would in a 5L V8 Range Rover, but on the other hand they are nimble and narrower than that so better away from the motorway.

DP used to commute to the Netherlands on a weekly basis.

He didn’t want to put so many miles on his good car so bought a Fiat 500 to do it in.

It’s 320 miles each way.