Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

@ShowOfHandshow did you get 4 kids in a Fiat 500? My brother used to take up the entire back seat. 😆 Ours was red and called Nelly.

I get the anger.

It is natural to feel that way, and it's really easy to transform the anger at the split into 'why doesn't he care enough about his kids' safety to fund a better car' (which I think is what you are thinking, subconsciously or not). But you have to put this behind you. Just don't let yourself think like this - it'll fuel your nerves and it will also fuel more impotent anger at him.

So the issue is your choice of school, not your choice not your ex’s location.

Its very obvious this is what OP waa hoping everyone would say.... That the mean nasty ex should buy her a nice big Safe car. Because she's jealous of his big new defender.

Its a load of nonsense - if Fiat 50's weren't safe to drive on motorways they would not be insurable.

I drive my Fiat 500 all over the place, up hill, down dale, motorway, with no issues.
I misread the OP and thought he'd moved a huge distance away, now realised it's only 30 minutes away which changes my view somewhat.

I Make my ex do all the driving as he moved far away and I do the bulk of stuff for our child on most days of the week so I feel it’s his turn to do an (easy) boring job

30 mins isn’t long distance. It takes me longer than that to drive my DC’s to school.

And that anger is now driving you.

It is what it is. We all make choices and they don't always work out for the best. Believe me, I know.
It's 30 mins away. That is not exactly 'moving away' so no reason driving can't be shared. You do one way, he does the other. Or meet halfway.
You both need to find a solution that is best for the children and, really, I can't see how not being able to drive them anywhere is it 🤷‍♀️

This thread has made me remember driving to Italy several years in a Mini in the late 80s and early 90s

900 miles in 2 days, that was was seriously uncomfortable, even though it was just two of us and our luggage😄. The old style minis were seriously small. I don't rhink it was particularly unsafe though. No more than in any other car

That is not to say that DCs dad shouldn't pick up the children himself, he should or at least do half the driving anyway

As a driver of a fiat 500 for 10 years - and also had a rear facing toddler in it - and I live in highland Scotland - your car is perfectly capable. Not all car seats work as well, but there are double isofix points in the back and if you’ve nobody in the front passenger you can have that seat pulled right forward leaving more space to the back seat.

I drive 40 minutes, twice a day up windy, bendy hills in all weathers! Not everyone needs a big car. They’re gas guzzling and more expensive to run. As a single parent I love having an affordable vehicle I can always get parked in. I also didn’t get a great end of it in my divorce, but ive long realised you don’t need any man to do/buy/fix anything for you. You’re more capable than you realise.

This here is the problem. You think he should get you a bigger car?

Respectfully you need to get over yourself and do the drive as and when necessary.

You seem to be ignoring the question as to why you have to ferry the kids over to him when he is the one who moved away?

After my divorce I had to get a little noddy car for financial reasons. I did two years of a 60 mile round commute on motorways in a 2012 Peugeot 1 litre 107 😂 It was fine. It’s still a car, not a push bike.

Edited to add: visibility is fine “lower down”. I even managed to exceed the speed limit regularly. In high winds the cars are obviously very light but you just drive carefully/slow down accordingly.

You'll be fine on the hills then. I had a 1.2 citroen c3 and it got me up and down the hills in Wales with no bother. It had a lot more miles than your car, too.

Are you sure you weren't just seeing a wobble you would have seen if you'd been outside your own 4 by 4?

It is really hard to tip a car over. You're not going to do it by going slightly into a ditch, honestly.

Hand on heart - the left front and back wheels went slightly into a ditch and it rocked left and right as if it were about to tip over. I would barely have felt the difference in ground level in my larger car.

OP, what is the engine size of your car, and what year is it? Even if it's a 1 litre, if it's a modern car it should still have enough power to get you up the hills.

Oh nonsense! How on earth would it 'tip into a ditch'?!

Your problem is 2 fold OP:

1. if he moved away, he should do the driving to pick up/drop off. 30 mins is not ‘long distance’ by any stretch of the imagination
2. your hang up about your car is nonsense. You need to get a grip on your anxiety around driving. Not wanting to drive on the motorway in a perfectly safe car for a short amount is time is going to hinder your children in the long run. People drive thier kids around in small cars all the time, the norm is very much NOT to drive around in some big Chelsea tractor type tank substitute.