Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

Yes, it’s like OP had no control that she was in a relationship with a man 20 years her senior, had two children quickly and wasn’t married or arranged any financial security. Two difficult pregnancies meaning she couldn’t work, all very risky in quick succession was quite foolhardy in such a fragile situation.

Im not sure why the fact he’s so much older has become an issue and cause for anger,

That is exactly the sort of terrain that small cars are good at.

At least that is my experience.

It’s a legal, roadworthy car, not a go-kart. Why wouldn’t you drive on any roads? Not sure I understand the problem.

What type of thing?
Many, many posters have told the OP that she can’t expect to have a car bought for her.

YANBU OP but Google Maps has a setting so that it will avoid motorways. Sat navs are part of the driving test nowadays (so I am told)

I can't believe how manipulative you are being. This is all a big game because you want him to buy you a big car. You're not together and he doesn't owe you a car.

Your finances are the way they are because of choices that you made. Of course you're getting loads of support on here because they all love this type of thing.

I didn't vote as you are not unreasonable to expect him to do some running about given he chose to move but you are unreasonable not to build up your confidence on the road in general.

You are obviously pissed off about how he has treated you and the financial settlement you received. Whether or not you are reasonable to feel like that, I don’t know. But, it has happened now. Even if he did screw you over, wasting your time being (understandably) bitter and angry about it, only hurts you.
A Fiat 500 is perfectly safe for a 30 minute drive, as you know op. I had one and drove all over the country in it. I loved it, dirt cheap to insure and fill up.
If he has behaved like a complete twat, your best revenge here is to live well. Yes you might “only” have a Fiat 500, but it’s yours, you bought it, that is brilliant.
And, if he is as much of a selfish twat as you suggest, you are now rid of him, which is also brilliant!

I do hope you never have to dream of an income so small that all you can afford is a small car🙄

@CheeseSandwich1 I grew up in the arse end of nowhere, no white lines or street lights type of nowhere. My first car was a little Nissan micra, I got it up and down that road in rain, hail and drifting snow! My first trip out was down the motorway to the big shopping centre that I was desperate to go to! I have mostly always had small cars, shockingly even when my children were little.

Your anxiety around driving is more likely to cause you issues than they type of car you drive!

Could you stretch to an advanced driving course, to give you more confidence in your own safety in your own car? Advanced Driver Course | IAM RoadSmart

As I said previously you shouldn’t be driving at all, neither should his mother!

Bloody liabilities!

Don’t like motorways, hills, twists or turns!

Mad. As fiat 500s are made for all the twisting and turning of winding roads and the cliff side Roads of Italy.

They are fine on the motorway. The only way to get over is to do it. Stick to the slow lane give yourself extra time but it’s not really fair to put all the driving on him because you have a small car.

30 minutes isn’t really long distance.

How can somewhere be in the arse end of nowhere and a short thirty minute drive from a city?

A 2015 fiat 500 with 50 on the clock is about £3-4k to buy, there are thousands of larger cars with five doors available in the the UK for a similar price or less. So it does seem a bit odd to choose a car you don’t like, when there was no need to do so.

Well, her dad definitely shouldn’t be driving.

Why buy a car you don't want to drive? was it a pretty colour? Cute looking?? 😆

You shouldn’t be driving at all! Totally ridiculous.

I agree with you OP. I had a small suzuky at one point and I was terified of driving on motorways, when the wind blew you could definetly feel it and had to be extra focused and hold onto that wheel extra hard, it was also not very stable on the road due to it's boxy shape, I think Fiat500 is the same boxy shape.No one can tell me that a small tin like boxy car has the same stability on the road as an estate or even normal sedan car, it just doesn't. Also, in case of accident you are more likely to serious injury when the distance between the front of the car to passenger is small, is just pure physics. Don't do it.

Part of the reason smaller cars aren’t as “safe” is the number of twats who insist on driving round in giant tanks and basically drive excessively large and heavy cars. For instance if the woman who crashed into that school in Wimbledon had been in a Fiat 500 I doubt very much she would have caused the devastation she did. You might feel “safe” but you make others, including children, on the roads less safe.

Fiat 500s do really well in the hills. I live in the flat Fens but regularly dry to Bath and every other car there is a 500 all parked up and down the hills.
Last yr my car did Cambs to London and back, Cambs to Bath and back and Cambs to N. Yorkshire and back in the space of a week and she was fine!

You're being a bit drippy

Safety.
Comparing a fiesta to a 500 is laughable, they are not alike.
Tell me you don’t understand road safety without telling me you don’t understand road safety. Go watch some euro ncap videos.

There’s less bodywork around you in an accident. We ruled out the 500 years ago for this exact reason. I think they only have 3 star euro n-cap and low score for occupant safety. I think anyone driving a 500 on the motorway is pretty brave tbh. And I say that as a confident driver who uses all roads & has been driving for a very long time. I know a couple of people who have had nasty motorway accidents (some died) and live near some busy motorways which are frequently closed for accidents so perhaps I’m hyper aware.

30 minutes get a grip. A car is a car?! I drove 5 hours in a 3 door Fiesta.

This is a you problem. A larger car makes what difference sorry?

It was the OP's choice to use his address to put her kids in a school that she has to drive to. She's not just talking about driving them to his house for the time he has them.

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. U feel nervous. Nerves and driving is not a good combination. U are also saying u are concerned re the children's safety. No doubt he knew this would be an issue. It's his choice to move to that spot, so i would say he needs to come up with the solution.