Page 2 | To think a daily shower is not excessive for a 12 & 14 YO?

Question2288 · 2026-06-01T18:51:58+00:00

DP has just decreed a daily shower as ‘excessive’ and they are absolutely not to have them.

Hotupnorth · 02/06/2026 09:37

Your DH has clearly never spent a hot day in a classroom full of teens. Between deodorant, cologne, hair products it's aromatic enough without adding BO and feet into the mix.

mycarhasnoaircon · 02/06/2026 09:32

What makes him think he gets to 'decree' anything, especially about other people's personal hygiene?

Daftypants · 02/06/2026 09:29

I’m from the days where babies and toddlers got a shallow bath daily .
And as school aged kids we didn’t get that , a big performance was made about putting the immersion heat on for hot water and I hated that 😩
We also didn’t have a shower 🚿so not possible to have a short daily shower .
As soon as I had access to a shower I had one daily and encouraged my children to do the same .
I did discourage ridiculously long showers because they’d use up all the hot water and the bathroom would be like a steam room , encouraging damp .
Also even my hairdresser says hair doesn’t need to be washed every day ( she’s talking about long hair ) so your children should be allowed to have a daily short shower

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/06/2026 09:18

Question2288 · 01/06/2026 22:42

I have tears in my eyes reading all of your messages.

I know I need to leave. We have a shared DC so it makes it trickier.

I have hundreds of examples like this.

Bless you. It’s hard ending a relationship even more so if still have to have contact with them due to a joint child

how old is child / will the dad want 50/50

but yes you do need to leave as this is an abused relationship and will only get worse

StartingToday010626 · 02/06/2026 08:39

Question2288 · 01/06/2026 20:16

Oh thank god for you lot - genuinely thought I was losing it.

It’s interesting reading some of the comments. You are all spot on: not their dad, if he showers 3 times a week that’s a good week, and it is most definitely the tip of the iceberg.

He thinks he has a say as he pays half the utilities.

Three showers a week! That’s disgusting @Question2288 OP. I wouldn’t let him near me, especially if he wanted ‘you-know-what!’.

Everyone should be showering daily from the tweens upwards.

liamharha · 02/06/2026 08:35

Godu sons would deffo agree with your DP I however make sure they shower daily as teem boys smell odious 👀🫣

Tamtim · 02/06/2026 08:05

Selfseedpoppies · 01/06/2026 22:25

I don't think a daily shower is unreasonable for teens and DP sounds like a twat for trying to restrict showers as long as they're not spending hours in there each time.

BUT those who are saying showering less than daily is disgusting are also unreasonable. Some people smell more than others. I shower around 2-3 times a week, more in summer and rarely need deodorant in winter. I just don't get BO. My teens usually shower every couple of days and they don't smell except on particularly hot days or after sport (when they would be showering).

I’m sorry to break it to you, but other people will likely notice a stale smell. People smell if they don’t wash thoroughly everyday. Yes, some smell worse than others, but we all smell. Skin is our biggest organ, take care of it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/06/2026 07:53

He doesn’t get to tell your kids what to do and they will take as many showers as they need.

Its your job to protect and advocate for your kids OP and safeguard them from shit like this.

If you can’t do that with him under your roof he needs to leave (or you do).

Genevieva · 02/06/2026 07:52

A show need only take a couple of minutes. They don’t need to wash their hair daily, but some soap and a rinse in smelly crevices, like under the arms, is a good habit. Mine tend to go into some kind of revery and spend far too long in the shower. If that’s a problem, give them an egg timer.

Tamtim · 02/06/2026 07:48

Everybody should shower every day.

ASongOfRiceAndPeas · 02/06/2026 07:47

How can you sleep with/in the same bed with someone who doesn’t shower daily? That’s disgusting. My 14 year reeks to high heaven if he doesn’t bathe or shower at least once a day.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 02/06/2026 07:33

You’ve got got three lovely children. Get him out of there ASAP so you can enjoy the time you have left with them as children.

Newname26 · 02/06/2026 07:10

Op how old is your shared child?

What's your plan going forward? You can't allow this man to ruin your kids teen years.
I don't know what their relationship with their Dad is but you don't want them to decide that moving in with Dad is a better option. At 12 & 14 they'll be little you could do about it.

Newname26 · 02/06/2026 07:06

Fleurdalys · 02/06/2026 06:29

Believe me, you do smell 🤦‍♀️

Show quote history

Agreed, people are just to polite to say anything.

Fleurdalys · 02/06/2026 06:29

Selfseedpoppies · 01/06/2026 22:25

I don't think a daily shower is unreasonable for teens and DP sounds like a twat for trying to restrict showers as long as they're not spending hours in there each time.

BUT those who are saying showering less than daily is disgusting are also unreasonable. Some people smell more than others. I shower around 2-3 times a week, more in summer and rarely need deodorant in winter. I just don't get BO. My teens usually shower every couple of days and they don't smell except on particularly hot days or after sport (when they would be showering).

Believe me, you do smell 🤦‍♀️

BCBird · 02/06/2026 06:27

A friend of mine will have a flannel wash. All that faff- a shower is easier in my opinion.

BCBird · 02/06/2026 06:25

Showering daily is something to encourage not discourage. DP is bonkers

GethsemaneHall · 02/06/2026 06:21

Well he'd have a shock if it was me, my kids have been bathed/showered daily and into clean pjs/clothes since my eldest was born 20 years ago! Hygiene is none negotiable in this house.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/06/2026 01:26

My friend's older sister's 2 teen boys didn't shower regularly. They reeked. So did her husband. They were rather nose blind to it. 🤢

DontShoutInMyEarholeTracey · 02/06/2026 00:54

Your DP is a bellend. At that age kids need showers. Does he want them to be unpopular at school because they stink of BO? Tell him to fuck off!

KnittyKnotty · 02/06/2026 00:26

Unless you are struggling financially and making a choice between eating and paying for gas/electric he is being a twat.

If finances are that tight though, a quick sink wash of pits and bits is enough if they haven't been particularly active then a proper head to toe shower every other day. Personally I would hate that though!

Lavenderandbrown · 02/06/2026 00:15

I can smell this thread.

Always posters who romanticize the flannel at the sink bath and those who “don’t smell” so they don’t need to shower daily. I can smell every single person who doesn’t shower at least daily. People have no idea of their personal scent…and many of them are not pleasant

Stillupatmidnight · 01/06/2026 23:44

I remember a teacher at school holding a lesson stating “at our age (12) we are expected to shower every day”, I feel this was for the benefit of those that didn’t. Of course let them shower each day, they might feel embarrassed or just uncomfortable and unclean if not!

Bloodorangekangaroo · 01/06/2026 23:42

We all shower daily in this house.

lunar1 · 01/06/2026 23:37

You poor kids, hundreds of examples like this! Please give them their childhood back, they have lost enough to your partner.