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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbours fallen out with us

163 replies

Ilovewatchingthedrama · 01/06/2026 15:32

Could I have a bit of perspective on this please?

Our neighbours of many many years installed a high pitched bird scared in their back garden. It drives us crazy and it doesn’t actually stop the pigeons going into their garden. We have asked them a couple of themes if they could turn it off or at least down. When they refused we asked if they could at least leave it off until later in the morning as DD was sleeping in the back bedroom and it was waking her up. That was also met with a refusal. So the weather got nicer again and it meant we couldn’t sit in the back garden or have the patio doors open. We tried one last time but again they refused to turn it off stating what he did in his property was up to him - if only the sound stopped at the boundary that would be fair enough. we made a noise complaint to the council. They got a letter and we got a diary sheet to fill in. One of our other neighbours spoke to them (they are also sick of the noise but not willing to do anything about it) and he told them nothing was going to change. Someone else must have made a complaint as the council guy came out to him and told him to remove it. Neighbour is now chatting shit about us and the easy going relationship we had has gone forever. I know how different noises can be perceived differently by different people but we couldn’t stand that high pitched whining.

was I unreasonable to take whatever steps necessary to allow me to use my garden ?

OP posts:
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Bananainpyjamas1980 · 16/06/2026 23:13

Fizzybluewater · 02/06/2026 10:44

Yep, way to go, OP becomes THAT neighbour and ends up in trouble with the council.
Good idea in your head, but not helpful irl.

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It was lighthearted banter fizzybluewater.
Seems only to offend you tho!

Picklelily99 · 03/06/2026 18:04

Sunnydaysarehereagain2026 · 01/06/2026 16:11

We now have their large ddog barking ALL day. Even when they are home. They have actually changed me from being a very considerate neighbour.. Our dpuppy and adult ddog play loudly in the garden. Previously I would have brought them in.. Now I just leave them to it.

Get some windchimes and place them near the fence. Or a water feature close to their patio - they'll be going to the toilet all day! Store some open farm manure bags nearby. Or get some squeaky toys that will have their dogs going crackers.

AmberTigerEyes · 03/06/2026 17:09

TeaCupTinsel · 02/06/2026 19:26

Sorry for derailing but how can they kick you off your own property? That sounds a really stressful situation!

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By making a big hulla balooo. It’s ok we are getting legal advice and gathering up the title deeds and survey so we can send a legal letter to them.

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 03/06/2026 14:34

I couldn’t imagine wanting to scare birds away from our back garden, we actively encourage them.

This is the usual tactic of farmers protecting large fields of crops, not Gladys & Pete’s dahlias 🤷‍♀️

Laurmolonlabe · 03/06/2026 09:18

I would have done the same.

Francestein · 03/06/2026 08:52

You and your nice neighbours should invest in bird feeders now.

user1492757084 · 03/06/2026 03:58

Look into visual and movement activated bird frighteners.
Some have good reviews.

Your neighbour might find them useful.

dayslikethese1 · 03/06/2026 03:46

Sounds cruel, what's wrong with birds in the garden 😕

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/06/2026 01:38

Ilovewatchingthedrama · 02/06/2026 22:34

Thanks, he is the sort that wants everyone to like him but he his behaving like a child trying to get the neighbours to think badly of us just because he didn’t get his own way. A bit like kids “ I’m not their friend so I don’t want you to be their friend” sort of thing.

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He acts like Billy Big Bollocks because no one has ever dared stand up to him before, and now you have he has nowhere to go with it. I very much doubt he will retaliate, he will simply pretend it never happened once he realises that you actually have a lot of the other neighbours on your side.

I wouldnt be at all surprised if their house is on the market sooner rather than later.

AllTheChaos · 03/06/2026 00:12

I accidently YABU - but you aren’t! You really aren’t!

changeme4this · 02/06/2026 23:06

You ‘could’ position a motion activated spotlight aimed directly at his camera, when the spotlight hits it as long as nothing is in-between the camera will only show the white of the light..

anyhow these people were never your friends. The neighbours who complain but don’t want to officially address the problem are just as bad. Doesn’t help you of course but you know where the line is in the sand now as to who will help or not..

our nearest neighbour now has 3 dogs who bark all afternoon. If someone is at home they rarely come out to tell the dogs off. Neighbour up the road sent me a message the other week asking whose bloody dogs were barking etc et. That neighbour now had a business relationship with our dog neighbours so I asked her did she speak up about the dogs barking and she hadn’t and isn’t going to…

I’ve had two conversations with dog neighbour so they know and one was initiated by them so I presume someone else spoke up. Nothing has changed so it will be a call to animal control shortly.

we have a restraining order on another neighbour, he has been in the road for about 20 years and is known to police. Threatens people he doesn’t like when he gets the chance and did it to me.
I’m surprised at the number of men and women who won’t speak up! Again we do not consider these people to be friends, but by not speaking up, it enables bad behaviour to continue….

Original poster
Ilovewatchingthedrama · 02/06/2026 22:39

Hangingcrystal · 02/06/2026 18:27

Get a camera up front and back, a decent one.
It might give him pause if he can see clearly that he will be recorded.
Are you allowed to have flood lights that impact your neighbours gardens?

He has his front and back gardens covered by cctv (and probably a good chunk of our front garden as well) and he has lots of lights in his garden. Our front would be covered by the ring camera it we have nothing at the back. I maybe have to have a good think about getting something for the back

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovewatchingthedrama · 02/06/2026 22:34

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 02/06/2026 21:21

If the Council.are involved. I would leave it with them to take legal action.

Your neighbour sounds like a grade one prat. Likes throwing their weight around, winding people up and thinks that there is only them in the world.

Unfortunately, this country is full.of.people like that..

Hope you get it sorted..

Thanks, he is the sort that wants everyone to like him but he his behaving like a child trying to get the neighbours to think badly of us just because he didn’t get his own way. A bit like kids “ I’m not their friend so I don’t want you to be their friend” sort of thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovewatchingthedrama · 02/06/2026 22:32

Marieb19 · 02/06/2026 19:36

It's a shame when something like this happens but there is nothing you can do about it. Do you get on with his wife? A friendly "good morning" etc to her may break the ice.

She is the more reasonable one out of the pair of them and we were going to give her the benefit of the doubt but she was joining in the bad mouthing so we are not going to acknowledge her either

OP posts:
anon666 · 02/06/2026 22:31

What a bunch of tossers they sound. Remember you cant control otger people's bad behaviour. Its such a shame tho.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 02/06/2026 21:21

If the Council.are involved. I would leave it with them to take legal action.

Your neighbour sounds like a grade one prat. Likes throwing their weight around, winding people up and thinks that there is only them in the world.

Unfortunately, this country is full.of.people like that..

Hope you get it sorted..

Skates · 02/06/2026 21:15

I once had a neighbour whose kid constantly kicked his ball over the fence into my garden and would then bang on my front door asking for his Ball back. Sometimes this could be 4 to 5 times a day. I actually watched him from an upstairs window deliberately kicked the ball over the fence and then come round banging on my door. I spoke with his dad and asked him if he could tell his son not to kick the ball over he just laughed and said oh kids are kids. So the next time he did it, I put my garden fork through the ball and chucked it back over the fence. Did this a couple of times and hay Presto no more ball over the fence.

MeSeM · 02/06/2026 21:02

Ilovewatchingthedrama · 01/06/2026 15:32

Could I have a bit of perspective on this please?

Our neighbours of many many years installed a high pitched bird scared in their back garden. It drives us crazy and it doesn’t actually stop the pigeons going into their garden. We have asked them a couple of themes if they could turn it off or at least down. When they refused we asked if they could at least leave it off until later in the morning as DD was sleeping in the back bedroom and it was waking her up. That was also met with a refusal. So the weather got nicer again and it meant we couldn’t sit in the back garden or have the patio doors open. We tried one last time but again they refused to turn it off stating what he did in his property was up to him - if only the sound stopped at the boundary that would be fair enough. we made a noise complaint to the council. They got a letter and we got a diary sheet to fill in. One of our other neighbours spoke to them (they are also sick of the noise but not willing to do anything about it) and he told them nothing was going to change. Someone else must have made a complaint as the council guy came out to him and told him to remove it. Neighbour is now chatting shit about us and the easy going relationship we had has gone forever. I know how different noises can be perceived differently by different people but we couldn’t stand that high pitched whining.

was I unreasonable to take whatever steps necessary to allow me to use my garden ?

Greetings Supremely Sincere Soul 💚
You&Your Phenomenal Family are not being unreasonable whatsoever &
We wish You&Yours all the utmost very best 💚✨💚

pouletvous · 02/06/2026 19:56

The neighbours sound mentally unwell

I dont think you can reason with them as this behaviour is totally unusual, about, unhinged.

Janicchoplin · 02/06/2026 19:37

User711985 · 01/06/2026 15:52

I think you just have to accept that this has happened. It’s not great but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Whatever you do or think or say to them, they are still going to think that they are in the right. You are not ever going to be able to ’win’ or make them see reason because they don’t think in the same way as you do.

Yeah no. I don't think so. Its a nuisance. You can do plenty about it.

Marieb19 · 02/06/2026 19:36

It's a shame when something like this happens but there is nothing you can do about it. Do you get on with his wife? A friendly "good morning" etc to her may break the ice.

TeaCupTinsel · 02/06/2026 19:26

AmberTigerEyes · 01/06/2026 21:21

i can sympathise as currently have neighbours encroaching and the other day they kicked us off our own property when we went to weed whack it. Really don’t need the stress of this.

Sorry for derailing but how can they kick you off your own property? That sounds a really stressful situation!

Silverfoxette · 02/06/2026 19:16

I don’t blame you, they are annoying and they don’t work

WaneyEdge · 02/06/2026 19:14

CoffeeAndCats3 · 01/06/2026 23:18

Is there a chance your neighbours can't hear the noise it makes? If they're older they may have lost their high frequency hearing. It's very common. I can't hear certain pitches at all, that drive other people completely mad.

Was going to say this. A business near where I used to work had one and all I could hear (at the grand old age of 26) was a series of clicks. That was only if I stood directly underneath it. They did get a few complaints from people who went in with young kids.

A house opposite a train station when I worked somewhere else installed one as they were fed up of the kids hanging around/sitting on their wall etc. I think they got told to remove it though.

Tiggermad · 02/06/2026 19:01

Your neighbour gave you no consideration at all.
Id be glad that easy going relationship was gone and just keep it at a distance.
Glad the horrible noise was removed.
So inconsiderate !

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