AIBU to think a younger partner could genuinely find Justin Fletcher attractive?

It’s very Mumsnet to be so hysterical over 2 adults (the younger of whom has now been an adult for 17 years), who have no children and are both financially independent with great careers, dating each other.

No, you've decided there's a power imbalance based on a random rule you've made up in your head.

Just because you think it, doesn't mean it's true. HTH.

Surely this is one of these new lavender marriages? I saw an article about it being a the rage to marry your gay bff.
all open. Can sleep with who you want but committed to spending your life with your friend. Actually sounds quite good!

They look like they could be great friends but I just can't see mr tumble having a tumble with a woman!

Since when do we use stupid fucking made up rules to decide a 34yo fully grown, full time employed adult can't date whoever the fuck they like among their fellow adult population.

What exactly is the power imbalance between two well-off people in the same role, both mature adults. I swear people on this site will make an argument out of thin air. It’s their business if they want to have an age gap, who on earth cares

@tiramisugelato they work together, I suspect he has a lot more money than her, he is older than her. There is a power imbalance.

Why do you care what my acceptable age gap is? This thread is about a 21 year old age gap. It’s a pretty black or white question, it’s too much. I disagree that maturity is the same, life experience is different, I’m a different person at 40 than I was at 30, my husband even more so actually.

You sound like a 5 year old talking about being kissed in the playground.

There's no power imbalance between a 34 year old and someone in his 50's. If she was 18, you might have a point.

It is gross, he’s 20+ years older than her, there is a power imbalance. I’m not talking about his ball sack.

Statistically, you go into an age gap relationship with much higher odds of those things happening. Why do it? That’s why everyone is saying she’s after the money, because even if he was a great catch (I don’t know if he is or not) it doesn’t change the fact he’s much older than her which is clearly far from ideal.

Sorry, but the maturity level between someone in their 30s and 50s is pretty much the same, subject more to life experiences and personality.

I'm 44 so someone 21 years younger than me hasn't got a fully developed prefrontal cortex and very little life experience, but someone 21 years older just have different experiences.

But again, what is your acceptable age gap? What age of woman is he allowed to want sex with?

It's not "invariably doomed" at all.

Not everyone is interested in having children.
Not everyone ends up needing care.
People can die at any age - she could just as easily die before him.

Some people would rather have a short, loving relationship than not have one at all. It's not remotely selfish (or gross - how old are you - five?).

Because the relationship is invariably doomed. They’re at different stages of life, he’s too old to be a dad (not that that’ll probably stop him), she will likely end up caring for him, being widowed young-ish. If it’s is it a fling it’s just gross, but if it’s aiming for more it’s selfish. I think if someone really loved someone, they wouldn’t want that person to be with someone decades older as they’d see the likely hurt down the line.

What's selfish about having a relationship with another grown, consenting adult?

I said it’s creepy he wants to shag someone 20 years younger, I just think it’s gross, I think about people 20 years younger than me and I couldn’t begin to look at them sexually, they’re so much less mature, less life experience. I think it’s quite selfish as well.

She's an adult, literally nothing to see here.

So what's acceptable? Given she's in her 30s so not some naive young thing, expected to be a fully fledged adult, why is it creepy she wants to date a guy a few decades older?

Good luck to him! Many happy couples meet through work, wish him and his girlfriend every happiness.

I think she means his money.

Thing is you see "mismatched" people in all walks of life. She's not exactly young, she's had plenty of time to find a hot man her own age, and if she has it hasn't lasted. So she's fell for the funny guy at work, that she's known for years, that makes her laugh. Hardly unknown.

@SleepingStandingUp I think some on this thread must know some really strange looking teens if they think this 34 year old looks like one 😂

What teenagers are you hanging out with? She really doesn't look that young

I may yet get a MN pile on for my comment on page 1.

You never know which way the fickle fates of MN go on a thread!

I was disappointed to find that their ‘glorious chickens’ are just chickens.

Surely it’s pheasants that are ‘glorious chickens’?

Re Debbie McGee - she had quite the life before meeting Paul Daniels. Her tale of fleeing Iran during the revolution was very dramatic.

I didn’t find him attractive when younger.

I met him. He is t an attractive personality imo

I don’t know what her intentions are, but a 21 year old gap is creepy and I judge him for that.

@Thiswasanescapeplan thanks for your humour, you've made me giggle🤣 I was also expecting a pile-on for criticising the little tinker(Justin).