AIBU to think a younger partner could genuinely find Justin Fletcher attractive?

A lot, if you work together

As a child of parents with a 20 year age gap, it’s a no from me. It’s fine until one day it isn’t. And yes there will be those who say anything could happen, of course that’s true. Think of the children, don’t do it. (I also thought he was gay.)

But on their next birthdays, (56 and 35) they’d pass your random made up rule/law. Would the age gap suddenly be ok then? What, really, will have changed? I don’t get it.

I thought he was gay.
21 years is far too big a gap.
Even 10years is a lot but it can work.

"Every pan has a lid"

The outcry about two grown adults’ relationship due to age gaps gets very tedious. And often incredibly rude regarding the woman’s “ulterior motives” (when the man is older). My DH is 23 years older than me. We’ve been very happily together for years. I have the same amount of money as he does. We both own our own homes next door to each other. We are equals in every way. I’ve always found him incredibly attractive. And funny. Decent. Hard-working. The things I am as well.

Goid luck to them.

I hadn't seen Something Special for at least 10 years and then saw it about a month ago. I didn't know his martial status but I did think whilst watching it, he seems a lovely man and so kind.

I saw a programme on Eurovision recently and didn't realise his dad was a famous song writer/producer or similar, in the 1970s!

And of course you haven’t picked the one token more mature picture of her amidst all the ones where she does indeed look extremely young, including her own social posts. You wouldn’t possibly be that disingenuous now, would you….?

I couldn't really say exactly.

But knowing your girlfriend wasn't feeding from her mother's breast and could independently wipe her own arse 3 years after you've left school/university, is a pretty decent marker for any man.

I do think some people have quite narrow friendship groups. I'm similar to you I ntbat when I'm at my hobby, the age ranges from early 20s to 80s. I spend the majority of my free time with people 15 years younger to 15 years older, I just happen to be in the middle as that means some of them are socialising across a 30 year age gap. It isn't weird, we're just people. If I'm moaning about the kids, someone younger than me might have older oens so can give advice or someone older might not have any or might have younger ones. Same for work or relationships. Most people's lives are so linear

But you aren't necessarily any more MATURE, just different

I'm just curious where the line is. 21 is too much, so I'm genuinely interested at what point it becomes ok given the strength of feeling

Sounds awful but I really wouldn't be shocked if he suddenly became the next BBC scandal and disappeared off air overnight.
There's something about him that makes my skin crawl and I have to turn the channel over if he comes on.

The age of each of them I think is relevant, it is not some sleaze bag pursuing a woman barely out of school or university.

Also I agree about character, it's not as if he is the children's tv answer to Russell Brand.

Quite. My friends range from my own age (mid 30s) to 60. This notion that you somehow have more in common with somebody as they’re the same as you is really odd - you might have lived through the same trends but that doesn’t mean you like them, participated in them and want to mutually share them with somebody forever more.

There's nothing wrong with this age gap. Two friends of mine have got a 20 year age gap. They met through work when he was in his fifties and she was in her thirties. Both were in low paid jobs so there was no gold digging involved. They had shared interests and values and are still together more than 20 years later. It's nobody else's business.

What a roundabout way to tell us you fancy Mr Tumble.

Mr Tumble was the secret crush or the unexplainable crush on MN for years . It's the first thing I thought of when I saw the news articles . I think Justin Fletcher had a reputation of being a funny guy when not being his character . She seems an old fashioned type of girl, content that live in the countryside with their animals so maybe a perfect match for an older man . She's not in her twenties so not exactly very young either . I hope they are happy life is tough

Ffs

it's ridiculous.

along side the perennial "what do people 20 years apart in age have in common?"

I dunno... their likes, dislikes, careers, hobbies, music tastes....

I have a friendship group that spans a mix of sexes ages 21 to 50 and we all get on because we all share a love of cars, motorbikes, racing, mechanics & cruising to loud music, and all happen to also be disabled.

Exactly. DH is older than me, I take home slightly more than him (both self-employed) - does that balance it out, do you think? Or are we gross too? 😂

Yeah, I've met him when working in a similar field.
He was an absolute tool to the other performers.

By that ‘logic’, all stay at home mums/dads are in ‘power imbalance’ relationships. Or any couple where they don’t earn exactly the same amount.

It's just weirdly controlling. And who talks about two consenting adults having a sexual relationship as "gross"?!