To have asked what his daughter normally eats in a foodless house??

If you are health conscious about what you put in your body as fuel and if you are socially conscious about children living in a home with a parent who appears not to be looking after this minor- aged child of his, I think you are being unreasonable to be with this person.
This person who thinks it's okay to have packet of crisps for breakfast and thinks it's okay for his child to have the same, and who invites you over for dinner and then says there's nothing to make dinner with, this would be a red enough flag for me.
Possibly he'd be better with someone who enjoys takeout and quick meals on the run, and then gets them to pay for them.

Crisps?? He thinks it's ok for his daughter to eat "crisps or whatever" for breakfast??! The reason he got pissed off is because you forced him to realise how shit he is being as a dad. This isn't about you, it's about him! Needless to say, this is a massive red flag and you should run for the hills if you ask me.

You implied OP was the problem.

He’d stand as much chance as you would, with your pleasant and charming self.

"Putting the child aside for a moment, I can’t see the issue in not having food in. I used to buy food as I needed it so never had bread/milk etc in the cupboard. My executive function was and is perfectly fine."

Yes, I live like this as well. I live close to shops so I'm not going to starve even if I have nothing in.

While I rarely have takeaways myself (preferring easy meals or restaurants), I wouldn't want to go out with someone who would refuse to have one from time to time.

I can assure you people do it

A singular report from someone who has spent one night in the house, when the child wasn't present but had her own pizza in the fridge, and a reported secondhand conversation that she has crisps for breakfast?

You might not like it, and it's not how I would choose to live, but unless there's already a file on the family, no. I would imagine that the school would have no interest whatsoever on how much food was or wasn't in the house when the child was not present overnight.

Already posted upthread suggesting he is a shit Dad. But now seeing the updates I'm thinking it might be kinder to say he is struggling. His partner has MH issues and abandoned her child. Who knows what they went through and the Dd may have been severely affected. I'm sure there were many pieces to pick up. He clearly has no idea how to run a house or care for a child. I hope SS do get involved for the kids sake but also to help him learn how to provide for his DD. She needs it desperately.

Big red flag for me for 2 reasons. Number 1) you're right about his parenting, his daughter isn't being cared for well, equally I do know some teenagers don't like breakfast and at 12 she can choose however Number 2) someone invites me to stay over and has neither dinner, nor coffee, nor breakfast in!?! If he's a newish bf I'm expecting some delicious dinner cooked for me and a nice breakfast (even if it's simply croissants etc). He hasn't bothered to prepare for your arrival at all, which shows a lack of care and thought. If you carry on this rship he will not improve and in 2 years time you'll be upset that you do everything (shopping, cooking, cleaning) for him and probably make sure his daughter has breakfast before school too!
Get out now i would say.... you also clearly don't have that much in common if you're health conscious and he only has takeaway or an oven pizza - doesn't sound a good fit to me, find a nice gym man who will cook you some chicken, veg and rice and make your coffee and smoothies for breakfast in bed

Poor kid. Do they honestly have stuff like crisps for breakfast?!

Does he work? Is his job well paid? I can't imagine inviting someone over for food and to stay the night and not have tea,coffee, evening meal stuff, breakfast bits etc.

The lack of supplies in the house would have had me wondering the same with a child living there. Not even an apple or a cereal bar? A slice of bread lingering in the freezer? Nothing??

I'm glad to hear you won't be dating him again and logged your concern for his DD.

Just don't get involved. I'm sure they just muddle along like a lot of folk. But sounds like he isn't the one for you.

Even aside from concerns about his daughter, what kind of weird loser doesn't get any breakfast supplies in at all when they have an overnight guest? An overnight guest in a romantic context, no less.

Yeh because if her only option for food is take away the poor thing has no chance to be healthy. Poor poor kid. He’s really letting her down. I’m assuming he can afford food, as he can afford take away.

Of course the school will take that seriously. There's no food in the house. The poor girl has absolutely shit parents. I hope her grandmother is better than them.

Run for the hills

Yes, that is true.

While he is most certainly an oddball, this is an unfair comment to his child. She is only 12, and in a neglectful situation where she appears to have to gatekeep food.

😬😬😬😬

Well this, just based on what OP says is a family support issue. Its not a CP issue, thats clear.

Schools are not the statutory body thats why. But it certainly complicates matters once the eventual referral comes through because its not direct from the person who observed it.

Erm……..I mean…………….we need to get you starting your own thread, we can all give you ideas!

It can be useful, as the school see her every day and might have met the dad and have had a few years of interactions with him eg parents evening, so they might be in a good place to help rather than a social worker who has never met any of them and who is thinking this doesn’t really meet their threshold for help anyway so it gets passed to a family support worker. If a school is worried enough they’ll involve social services anyway. Plus people are sometimes more receptive to school helping rather than ‘social workers who take your children away’.

You sound like a bit of a challenge to cater for!

Whilst living in germany, this is a thing, they shop daily for their meals but going by the major supermarkets on a weekend they were full of people stocking up on dry foods, meat etc.

I am moving so running down my fridge/freezer/cupboards, if i had an unexpected guest I could cobble a meal together and offer breakfast.....toast or cereal....

Well perhaps this man is the same, perhaps he is ND and doesnt comprehend planning ahead and/or eating a range of foods or have the functioning to manage any thing other than fixed takeaways

I dont actually know how people afford it to be honest.

Well let’s face it, if all his daughter has on offer for breakfast is a pack of crisps then quite frankly she isn’t being looked after properly. I would say this is a red flag that I couldn’t ignore.