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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked what his daughter normally eats in a foodless house??

456 replies

AlwaysSomeKunceInTheWay · 01/06/2026 13:28

Bloke I’ve been seeing invited me over for dinner Saturday night. Idea was he’d cook dinner, I stay the night and then drive to the coast Sunday morning.

So I got there and he said he’d decided we should get a takeaway instead of him cooking. I said I don’t like to eat takeaway but I’m happy to eat anything … beans on toast would do. He said he didn’t have anything in. No bread, nothing. I’d noticed there was a pizza in the fridge so I suggested we cook that, he said no as it’s his daughters (she lives with him, 12) and she’d given strict instructions not to touch it. I said “well surely we could just replace it tomorrow before she comes home?” He said no as she’d made it herself … it was an asda pizza!! Ok she may have chosen the toppings but surely we could have just had the same one made again??

Anyway I agreed to the takeaway but made it clear that I wouldn’t be making a habit of it as I’m health conscious. I ended up paying for half of it which normally I would expect but he’d invited me over for dinner!!?

Anyway next morning we got up, he made a coffee and then said we’d only be able to have the one as he was running low on coffee but he said he had plenty of tea bags in. I don’t drink tea.

Anyway time is ticking on and he asked if I was ready to head out to the coast … I said “are we not having any breakfast?” He replied “I don’t really have anything in”. So I said “no cereal?” He said no. I said “what do you normally do for breakfast?” So he said “I don’t normally bother or I have a packet of crisps”.

Now the next thing I said is my AIBU …

I said “what does your daughter eat for breakfast?”. He looked pissed off and started stuttering etc before saying she just has crisps or whatever. I didn’t say anything else but I told him I’d be stopping off at shop on the way to buy MYSELF something to eat. He then starts banging on about McDonald’s breakfast etc etc which I refused.

Hes messaged me this morning saying he’s a bit upset that I implied his daughter isn’t well taken care of. I simply asked what she normally had for breakfast since there was fuck all in the cupboards!!

Was I wrong to ask??

OP posts:
ohtokcry · 01/06/2026 13:37

This would be a massive turn off, he’s not exactly showing himself as a functioning adult or good parent. I can see why his daughter was protective of her pizza

Megifer · 01/06/2026 13:36

Sounds weird and hard work all round tbh.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 01/06/2026 13:35

That’s….weird. Does she live there? Where were his crisps then? When she’s eaten the pizza what would she have for the next meal?

Invite you for dinner and you end up paying for half a takeaway?

And he didn’t like you asking what a child (?) has for breakfast in a house with zero food?

I need you to see him again so I get my fix of weirdness please 🤣.

Otherwise, bin him.

Very concerned about the daughter’s food intake though. Tell him something about that if you can?

ProfessorRedshoeblueshoe · 01/06/2026 13:35

I agree with both PPs

Brenzaida · 01/06/2026 13:33

No, that sounds really concerning, if a twelve year old is living in a house in which the only available goods are an Asda pizza, crisps and teabags. She clearly isn’t being well taken care of.

I mean, I assume you’ve ditched him since this, but I’d send him a frank WhatsApp first and describe what kind of diet a 12 year old should be eating, and tell him straight he’s neglecting her.

LarksAscending · 01/06/2026 13:32

I’d message him back and say that it’s extremely strange to not have any food in stock so much so that she’s fiercely protective of her pizza because it’s likely she’s afraid she will otherwise have no access to food. Then I’d tell him I didn’t appreciate being lied to that he’d cook and then railroaded into a takeaway I didn’t want and then had to pay for and was then not afforded any breakfast. Then I’d say I don’t want to see him again thank you due to all of these factors and suggest that he asks his daughter if she’d prefer him to stock more food in the house.