To have asked what his daughter normally eats in a foodless house??

I don’t think he’s a shop as you go kind of man since he said thet usually eating crisps for breakfast. If you shop as you go, then you’d go and shop for at least the next morning.

I can’t believe his cheek in saying you implied his daughter isn’t well looked after! Sorry bud but she isn’t is she, as you give her crisps for breakfast and the only other food you possess is a pizza that she had to tell you not to eat?

Poor kid. A useless dad, no food, messy home, random women staying over. Was she there, had you actually met her before you stayed in her home? Where was she when the food squabble was going on and then the trip to the coast?

How on earth is it more efficient to shop as you go when you’ve a child in the house.

Agree. I remember many years ago we had invited another couple round for dinner and made a real effort. I’m a keen cook and really not a takeaway fan. A few months later they invited us to theirs for dinner. They hadn’t prepared anything and suggested we get a bucket of KFC. I was so pissed off. It’s just weird, I’m not sure what they were thinking.
But I’m glad OP has contacted the school as this is next level and sounds like neglect. I really hope this young girl will be ok, it sounds like both parents are not coping.

How can it be 'more efficient' to have no food at all and have to buy everything if you want to eat at home. Even if you don't cook, wouldn't you have stuff for breakfast, hot drinks, half used bags of pasta, rice etc?

I always thought the likes of Hello Fresh was a bit gimmicky, but perhaps there is a market for people who want to pay over the odds to buy their chilli powder one teaspoon at a time.

We used to have our main meals at my grans who lived around the corner. My dad (only parent, mum died when young) would only buy food for us for weekend on the weekend, then stuff for pack up for school, so similarly always had crisps etc in. Tbh, my brother used to go back for snacks on his way home as a teenager too. We were left money to go to the shop for our dinner for Saturday.

I dont know what his family set up is but could it be anything similar?

When my dad first split with my mum he lived like this for a bit. They had been together since he was 20 something and he’d gone straight from living with his mates (living off bacon sandos) to my mum cooking for him. Sometimes when men first split they can be a bit like this (and I’m not saying it’s okay btw it’s just a fact). If he’s been split form the girls mum long enough to be dating though he really really should have sorted himself out…

His daughter lives on takeout food because her dad is a shit dad who doesn't keep food in the home and cook it.

Having been a kid in that situation, you were extremely unreasonable to suggest eating her pizza. That's her only food and he wouldn't have replaced it in a timely manner. She would have gone without. You would have missed a meal. She would have missed for who knows how long. She's fucking hungry.

Your new bf is a neglectful piece of shit dad. You should call social services.

If I have guests staying over, I make sure I have milk, tea, coffee, bread, milk and eggs as minimum.
I’d also be annoyed at having to pay for a takeaway when he said he’d cook.
Regardless, you both obviously have different lifestyles. He doesn’t want to eat healthily and you do. It’s never going to work.

Is he skint? Toss that one back.

Actually it’s not always poverty. There are many reasons why it might be the case.

Not everyone likes the kind of staples that most people have in their cupboards. It is often more efficient to shop as you go.

I wouldn’t have invited someone to come round for something to eat in that position though ☺️

I would phone social services. This 12 year old sounds neglected. No food in the house and crisps for breakfast is very concerning. Also her being fiercely protective of her only item of food (Asda pizza) is a massive red flag for food insecurity. it is every adults responsibility to look out for children and young people and report neglect.
also you sound incompatible-you are health conscious and look after yourself. He eats crisps for breakfast.

That poor girl.

No wonder she was so emphatic about the pizza, she knows it’s the only thing in the house.

He isn’t taking care of her properly. You did the right thing telling him straight and telling the school.

And obviously he has shown himself not compatible with you.

Poor girl

It isn't normal to have literally no food
In your cupboards, even if you are due a food shop.
Most people would have something in their cupboards eg a few tins such as baked beans, tinned tomatoes, bit if pasta, stuff like part-consumed boxes of cereal, end of a loaf of bread, one or two bits of fruit, maybe the end of a bag of carrots, potatoes etc. It's not at all normal to have totally bare cupboards before a food shop. That's poverty.

I am betting it is a yes!Anyone else?

I guess she had to get something out of this visit (assuming he's good in bed that is)!

I remember blokes like this when I was in my late teens/early 20s but that was bad enough! A bloke old enough to have a 12 year old daughter and his own place? No thank you.

It sounds like a pretty obvious case of neglect. The only reasons I can think of to have literally no food in the house (other than extreme poverty) are if you're either going on holiday or moving house the next day. I'd try to contact her school's safeguarding lead. And obviously you've dumped this prince of a man????

Soo did you reward the low effort with a shag or not?

Blimey, I'm glad you've messaged the school. That poor girl!

Too many women have extremely low expectations.

Please tell me you've dumped his stained arse?

Just seen your update.

I would be messaging SS because neither appear to know how to look after a child

The fact that he had empty cupboards and the only thing in the freezer was a pizza which he said his dd had made herself when it was an Asda one suggests he is too dysfunctional and of really low intelligence that he is incapable of looking after a child.

I would be messaging the girls mother with your concerns

Plus I would be dumping someone who didn’t know how to use a supermarket. And had invited you round for a meal and hadn’t given a moments thought on what you would eat and drink, not just for dinner but for breakfast the next day

I’m just wondering how often he changes his bedding. I’m having grim mental images. @AlwaysSomeKunceInTheWay whats his personal hygiene etc like if this is how lazy he is with the basics of adulting?