AIBU to think husbands usually leave because there is someone else?

My dad left my mum (and me!) because she was toxic.

I can't say I know any many who left because they'd found someone else.

One (male) friend left his wife as she refused to work and wanted to be a housewife (no kids yet!) and spent far more than he earned.

A female friend split from her husband when she found herself pregnant. They were in agreement they didn't want kids but when she found herself pregnant she couldn't bring herself to have an abortion.

Another female friend's husband left "because he was an arsehole". Actually she has horrendous mood swings thanks to menopause and she bit his head off on a regular basis. They just grew apart and he had enough of being criticized!

Ohhh, I can now think of ONE friend whose partner left because they weren't getting on, but did shack up with another woman pretty quickly...

So YABU, 75% of the ones I can think of left due to other reasons.

Surely women cheat just as much as men??

Typically women end relationships because there is something lacking.

Typically men won't end relationships because there is something lacking.

So it's usually women that end things and usually after a lot of talking and soul searching.

Men only usually instigate separation if they have someone else to go to.

My nephew has recently left his partner and his kids, as she’s just a crazy person who he argued with constantly. No other woman involved.

My friend left his wife because she was financially, verbally and physically abusive. He hasn’t had another relationship since (this was 7 years ago) because he’s still broken by it. So no, it’s not always the case that there’s another woman. Fairly often though.

ALWAYS.... No matter how hard they try to disguise it, there will always be another woman in the wings!

My cousin left his wife for no reason other than she was a PITA. Which was true, to be fair. That was a few years ago, he's been single ever since. I know two men who left their wives after being cheated on, and my friend's dad left his first wife for that reason.

Worth bearing in mind that the reasons people give to outsiders aren't always the whole truth.

I know of three men who left their wives where there was "no other woman involved" . Two it was because their wife "was an absolute psycho" and the other because she was "bleeding him dry financially" . In reality two of them were abusive bastards and their wives had left in fear for their lives.

The third had been living a double life with another woman who he continued to keep secret until a mutual friend saw them out together.

Usually doesn’t mean always, there are clearly plenty of times they leave without another woman,

marriagws are sometimes bad op. Sometimes they are abusive, sometimes one is desperately unhappy, and it is not always men abusing women, it happens the other way round, the abuse may be different but it happens,

so no it’s very naive to assume it’s always cheating. Sometimes it’s just intolerable situation.

My brother divorced over 20 years ago. There was no other woman and never has been since, so it does happen.

Edited to add: he was the who left her.

I know three husbands who left their wives.

One caught her cheating on their honeymoon.
One walked when he was presented with the bill for the car she had just ordered for her parents.
One walked (with both kids) when the wife staged a fake suicide attempt hoping that their 13 year old would find her first.

No OW in any of these cases.

While I'm sure it's often the case there's another woman it's by no means universal. I'm a bloke and I left my ex because I'd lost any hope that the problems in our relationship could be resolved. There was no-one else (on my side, anyway). A colleague of mine left his wife because he discovered that his daughter wasn't.

I'm sure men leave for men but in very rare cases do they not have someone lined up!

Agree, although I'm sure if we looked at every single case across the globe there would be times men leave without there being an other woman but I would hazard a guess that it is very rarely the case.