No leaving card, school volunteer

This happened to me at my work. I worked in my old role for 12 years, in that time I got married (with my colleagues invited to the wedding), I had two pregnancies and then after a couple of years after my second return to work I decided to move to a new role. Now, I appreciate it was an internal move, but it was a new role in an entirely different area of the business with no opportunity to see my old colleagues. I didn't even get an email to say goodbye on my last day, never mind a card.

In my new role the graduate intern who was there for 6 months in my new team had a leaving lunch arranged for her, plus she got a bunch of flowers and we all signed her card. This was when she ALSO moved internally to a different team. This made me realise how shit my old team had been.

I've also subsequently found out that a few others in my old team have had internal moves (and a couple of full external moves) and they got leaving cards and a goodbye acknowledgement. I got nothing!!! It did make me question myself, was I really that unimportant to them all? Even the ones who came to my wedding didn't even send me an email to acknowledge I was leaving.

Thankfully my new team is much nicer and my new boss thinks it's mad I didn't even get an email goodbye from them.

Something should have been done but… leaving at a half term is hard. If you had managed to stay to end if year or July, then it probably would have been different. I work in schools and most staff changes happen end if summer term so there are always cards and collections going round and it’s kind of in the rhythm of the school year. In May they probably just weren’t thing about this and it probably slipped their mind.

it’s why I always have spare cards in my drawer so I can at least give a card out!

I wouldn't say YABU, more that you are sadly being unrealistic. With volunteering you have to ensure that you are getting as much out of it as you are putting in. It is easy to tell yourself you are doing a good thing and making a difference but often charities and organisations don't necessarily see it that way. To them you are often filling a gap for free which otherwise they would have to pay minimum wage for.

I have done lots of different volunteering over the years with some great experiences and some less good. I've also been on the other side where my organisation has provided me with a volunteer which hasn't actually helped me. I have once received a card and gift for volunteering but usually it is a verbal thanks and sometimes nothing.

When I was volunteering for a low vision and blindness charity by reading to an elderly lady her daughter asked me quite snootily if I was at a loose end! I actually worked 4 days a week and volunteered on my day off.

I don’t think schools have the resources to be buying cards for volunteers. Frankly, taking time out of teaching to make one is also too much. It’s not why children are there and it’s I hope not why you decided to volunteer. Surely a thank you is enough!

That said, I left my long term FT employer because I had to give up working because I have cancer. No one got me a bloody card or a gift or said thank you or goodbye or hope you don’t die soon! 😂

There are lots of reasons why it could have happened but that doesn’t take away how it has made you feel. It would have made me feel the same way. The school should have a procedure that involves thanking the volunteer, it could be quick and very low cost e.g. a signed letter of thanks from the HT. Personally I would email the HT and suggest they have an exit procedure for volunteers who are leaving.

Meh, that’s schools for you, PTA roles are virtually full time term time and no one gets much thanks for those.

I've had similar. My predecessor in a volunteer role (who did it for the same length of time) was given a bunch of flowers when she stopped. I got nothing, maybe just a a verbal thank you in passing.

Op even a cake and a card.. not nice. Im sure you were appreciated. I was shocked my bil got nothing in job was over 20 yrs there. Very mean!

THANK YOU
For your patience, time & effort

A handmade card from the children would have been lovely

I am sure that you made a difference to the children

This is not a reflection on you

Good luck with your new job

It is rude and thoughtless of them. Not a reflection on you.

I think expecting teachers to use their money to buy you a "bottle of wine" is cheeky,

The lack of card? More likely an oversight, because it's not the job of someone specific, they are busy and it's not something that would come to mind. Even if the head or deputy head would normally organise it, anything might have happen to needed their attention a lot more urgently. If they were friendly and thank you and say goodbye, that's enough?

Don't get the wrong idea they are not grateful. If it's a standard school, that's 30+ kids in a class, no teacher has time to read with each child individually, and volunteer readers are an absolute necessity, you hours will have made a big difference! They know and they appreciate.

That’s rubbish.

It is maybe because it was ‘only a few hours a week’. 😞 Some people just aren’t thoughtful. Don’t let it take away from the enjoyment it brought you.

I'm a primary teacher, OP. There are so many possible reasons for this and not one of them will be because you weren't valued by the teachers or the children.

You will have made so much difference to those children. We have reading volunteers at my school and the children adore them and they are very much appreciated. Thank you ❤️

Really sad indeed.

Schools can be like that.

My guess is you didn't really have a 'manager' so no one really felt responsible for you.
It wasn't necessarily about whether they like or appreciate you.

YANBU, I'm sorry that you've not ended the experience well.

I was a reading a volunteer in two different schools. In both of them I received end of year cards signed by the whole class, and the occasional gift (obviously bought by the teacher) at Xmas, Easter, or end of year. Over the years I've received a small plant, chocolates, a bottle of wine, Easter egg, lovely card (from teacher) with inspirational message that I've kept etc. I always helped with an individual class, and usually visited once or twice a week if they were lucky! Did you help across the school rather than a specific class? It's not an excuse but maybe each teacher thought someone else would have organised something?

I know you will have helped so many. Recently I have been listening to pupils read, when I have done supply. Even the reluctant ones have come round and enjoyed having some 'me' time. I can imagine that this would have had even more of an impact with you being there regularly- big thanks to you OP

That's a shame and I'm sorry OP.

I know my grandad felt similarly on his retirement. He'd worked there for 30 years and had seen many retirement parties and gifts over the years, but the culture had changed with time. He left with nothing beyond a goodbye card from his previous assistant who was taking over. They called him in a lot for specialist help and translations after, so had clearly valued him but no recognition at all at the time.

That said, I work in a school. I always arrange a card and flowers from the class in this situation, but I know I have missed at least one this year. My mum killed herself recently and my partner has been in and out of hospital with fragile health. My pre/teens have been assholes at home and extra hard due to all this stress too. I'm on my knees and really struggling to get through each day as it is. I know I should have recognised a long term supply leaving, but I didn't... It just felt like that one extra thing was impossible. Maybe whoever does the arranging in your school is like me; maybe just inconsiderate like my grandad's. It's a shame that's how it was left though. I am sure you will be missed by the children you worked with and spoken of, even if you weren't recognised like you should have been.

They wouldn’t like it to happen to them. Just remember they have to live with how unpleasant they collectively were to you. Bunch of mean people.
Don’t give them another thought.

It could be a number of reasons. Thoughtlessness, or one teacher thinking another teacher should be doing it, not them.

I’m sure there are volunteers who are taken for granted. When you do something for a long while (like you did for 5 years), people can start to take expect it and see it as your duty.

What kind of role are you stepping into? There could be resentment to you for leaving playing a part too.

It is thoughtless. I do a LOT for DDs school which I'm happy to do. Last year the teacher got thr kids to make/sign a card out of class paper and it was so lovely to be acknowledged. This year the teacher hasnt always told me for e.g. if she doesnt want reading helpers on the last weel if term and ive turned up to discover they're all off doing something else so I have to wait around for an hour which is annoying. (I also have a bit of a gripe about this teacher as I arranged for the whole class to do something really personal and thoughtful for the teacher's Easter gift, she knew it was me that arranged it and didnt acknowledge it at all really)

That would be really hurtful!

My guess is that the teacher a) was newish and had never had a support assistant leave before so didn’t know what’s expected or b) they actually did forget it was your last day as it was only a half term but when they saw you remembered and didn’t have anything. For this exact reason I keep random presents in my desk! The number of times I’ve forgotten work experience last days etc.

It is thoughtless but not a reflection on the valuable contribution you made. Best of luck with your new work.

Just to add - both my children loved reading with the volunteers when they were at school

It's not great but just think how many little kids you helped learn to read. That is what is important. Enjoy your new job.