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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if I’m a crap, ineffective parent, or …

32 replies

letsgetready · 31/05/2026 17:48

Is it really difficult to deal with some stuff?

Five year old ds; has started with some very unpleasant behaviour. This involves foot stamping, shouting, yelling and hissing at me whenever I say something he doesn’t like (which is often correcting some sort of behaviour.)

So for example he will be doing something he shouldn’t be; I will tell him not to (and often ignored the first two / three times) then tell him sharply / firmly, to which he’ll respond angrily and the situation escalates.

I feel like I shouldn’t ignore such rudeness but I’m lost with how to deal with it?

OP posts:
Original poster
letsgetready · 31/05/2026 18:32

Right but what I’m saying is that it isn’t working, that it’s inflaming the situation and consistency is making no difference?

OP posts:
MissyB1 · 31/05/2026 18:22

letsgetready · 31/05/2026 18:14

It isn’t always possible to physically intervene, and in any case that would have the same result (the anger and shouting etc which is what I’m really asking about.)

He is going to his room but it’s happening so frequently I feel he’s spending half his life there.

One warning followed by a consequence. Totally ignore his anger, just remove him to his room. When he’s done his time calmly remind him why it happened and ask for an apology. It will sink in eventually, consistency is the key.

Original poster
letsgetready · 31/05/2026 18:14

It isn’t always possible to physically intervene, and in any case that would have the same result (the anger and shouting etc which is what I’m really asking about.)

He is going to his room but it’s happening so frequently I feel he’s spending half his life there.

OP posts:
Endofyear · 31/05/2026 18:09

Don't tell him 2 or 3 times to stop doing something he shouldn't - tell him once and then physically intervene and stop him, calmly without any fuss. If he's rude to you, there should be an immediate consequence. I would remove him from the room for a few minutes and then say 'you were rude to mummy and you need to say sorry'. If he refuses, you say you will have to stay here until you are ready to say sorry. No shouting, stay calm but firm. He will push back at first until he learns that you mean business. The key is to be consistent and follow through every single time so that he learns you mean what you say. It will take time, he will not get it immediately but if you're consistent, it will work.

Original poster
letsgetready · 31/05/2026 17:55

No, not at all, it’s just very difficult to deal with as anything you do do seems to inflame the situation and make him angrier!

It’s making life so stressful as any mild rebuke seems to set him off at the moment.

OP posts:
Ipsevenenabibas · 31/05/2026 17:50

Oh forgive me I misread you. I thought you wrote you thought you should ignore it!

Ipsevenenabibas · 31/05/2026 17:49

No ignoring his rudeness won't work. He will keep using his behaviour in this way as it silences you.