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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to compare myself to a seemingly perfect family?

60 replies

Enjoyingmyicecream · 31/05/2026 13:15

There's a family I know that just seems so perfect. Beautiful husband and wife,two gorgeous children, they have the perfect work life balance and always seem so friendly and relaxed. I'm really struggling not to compare myself to them, but how does one stop it??

OP posts:
ToTheRamen · 31/05/2026 13:57

Enjoyingmyicecream · 31/05/2026 13:21

We're a very happy family of 3☺️

Show quote history

Well that sounds like a win! Tbh I think that , for our sanity, we need to be happy for people that are doing well, and leave it at that. Imagining other peoples lives is just a mind game, and not a healthy one, really.

YourPoliteTurtle · 31/05/2026 13:32

Use them as inspiration, rather than feeling down.

What is it you admire, what is it you wish you had? And go for it.
Very often, it's only a question of choices and priorities, nothing else.

Obviously, if you have someone with ill health in your family, it's not a choice, but then find a family with similar issue to get inspiration from them

Original poster
Enjoyingmyicecream · 31/05/2026 13:29

Crushed23 · 31/05/2026 13:24

You’ll get people coming on here to tell you ‘all that glitters isn’t gold’ and ‘you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors’, perhaps suggesting there’s secret financial abuse going on, or undisclosed mental health struggles, and whatnot. But there actually are people with perfect lives and who are lovely, charming etc. They exist. Pretending they’re secretly depressed or victims of abuse won’t help. Either use their lives as inspiration on how to improve yours (if you feel your life needs improvement) or don’t give them much thought at all and focus on what’s great about your life.

Thank you, very true! I don't begrudge them their success either, they're lovely people. And I really don't want to complain as I'm blessed with a lovely life too. I'm just a bit in awe I suppose

OP posts:
SlightlyAjar · 31/05/2026 13:26

Crushed23 · 31/05/2026 13:24

You’ll get people coming on here to tell you ‘all that glitters isn’t gold’ and ‘you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors’, perhaps suggesting there’s secret financial abuse going on, or undisclosed mental health struggles, and whatnot. But there actually are people with perfect lives and who are lovely, charming etc. They exist. Pretending they’re secretly depressed or victims of abuse won’t help. Either use their lives as inspiration on how to improve yours (if you feel your life needs improvement) or don’t give them much thought at all and focus on what’s great about your life.

This. It’s not necessary to pretend someone else is suffering Secret Grief in order to feel better about yourself.

Get more interested in your own life, OP. Life’s too short to be slipping sideways glances at other people to measure yourself against them. Invest in your own life.

Crushed23 · 31/05/2026 13:24

You’ll get people coming on here to tell you ‘all that glitters isn’t gold’ and ‘you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors’, perhaps suggesting there’s secret financial abuse going on, or undisclosed mental health struggles, and whatnot. But there actually are people with perfect lives and who are lovely, charming etc. They exist. Pretending they’re secretly depressed or victims of abuse won’t help. Either use their lives as inspiration on how to improve yours (if you feel your life needs improvement) or don’t give them much thought at all and focus on what’s great about your life.

BoredZelda · 31/05/2026 13:23

Enjoyingmyicecream · 31/05/2026 13:21

We're a very happy family of 3☺️

Show quote history

What is it about them that you want to have?

Original poster
Enjoyingmyicecream · 31/05/2026 13:21

ToTheRamen · 31/05/2026 13:18

Are you a happy family of four?

We're a very happy family of 3☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
Enjoyingmyicecream · 31/05/2026 13:20

topcat2014 · 31/05/2026 13:17

Comparison is the thief of joy - or something like that..

Have you achieved the same broad milestones?

I'd say you just have to go easier on yourself.

Thank you. You're so right, but I seem to be very bad at not comparing myself! I'm very happy and have a lovely life too, but they seem to just have life really worked out. They're also together since they are 18 and I'm kind of in awe of this! Both very good looking as well and I just feel a bit frumpy and inadequate.....

OP posts:
ToTheRamen · 31/05/2026 13:18

Are you a happy family of four?

topcat2014 · 31/05/2026 13:17

Comparison is the thief of joy - or something like that..

Have you achieved the same broad milestones?

I'd say you just have to go easier on yourself.

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