Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude, or normal boy behaviour?

80 replies

Floofydawg · 31/05/2026 12:29

If you have young adult sons, how often do you hear from them?

Trying to understand if my DH's two sons are giving him the runaround. He hardly ever hears from them and most messages to them go unanswered. He sends them expensive birthday gifts and doesn't get a word of thanks. When they come back to visit (they live away from us) they prioritise seeing their mum. They seem to favour her even though she was the one who split the marriage up. He takes them out for meals and they never offer to pay.

I just feel a bit resentful on his behalf, he thinks this is normal for boys but I think they're being rude.

OP posts:
ToTheRamen · 31/05/2026 12:57

From what you’re saying, those adult children don’t like their Dad much and have chosen their mum. Believe what the actions tell you.

OtterlyMad · 31/05/2026 12:33

Children who are not taught/modelled how to be considerate or grateful often turn into inconsiderate, ungrateful adults. Sometimes they grow as they get older and learn these attributes independently but other times not. We don’t know the full story here but I have a suspicion that your husband has enabled their rude behaviour and that’s why they continue to behave like that.

Loulou4022 · 31/05/2026 12:32

Hubs phones his mum most days for a quick chat on the way home from work and we see them probably every other week. His brother hardly ever contacts his parents and sees them maybe once or twice a year. My brother is hopeless at contacting mum & dad but will always respond when they contact him and offer to cook if they’re going over etc.

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 31/05/2026 12:32

I hear from both my adult children about 5 times a week, sometimes more. Sometimes they call for advice or money, more often they just call for a chat. I like it. My kids wouldn't offer to pay when we go out, just because I arrange it and it's clear that I'm paying, I earn loads more than them!

usernames98751 · 31/05/2026 12:31

What does it matter who decided to split the marriage up?