WIBU to go / not go on this work trip?

Give it a miss it's completely unfair to your husband and children.

only if she promises not to come back in 20 years whining about how her career has taken a back seat, and her pension is shit?

of course she "should" do what she wants. But if she wants a career, unfortunately since US companies want you to work as though you have never heard the word "child" let alone have one, she needs to make difficult decisions.

Would her DH be swithering like this? we already know the answer is "no"

I disagree, there's no should here at all when it comes to what she wants to do. The op just needs to think which she would most like to do, it's her oreference that matters. I wouldn't want to as I'm not keen on travelling long haul alone and I wouldn't choose to visit in hurricane season.

I agree 100% with this.

If my spouse worked for a company that had him travelling regularly, and that company then thought it was a great idea to provide him with a reward that had him spenfing even more time away from his family, I would be mightily annoyed with the company.

Can’t your DH take a couple of days holiday off work so the DC only need to do 3 days at holiday club?
Or could the DC go and stay one night with family so it breaks the week up a bit for them?
I think if your DH would go without hesitation if it was offered to him you should definitely go if you want to

I was leaning towards not going, until you said he'd had two trips away himself. How old are the kids? I know you said primary but 4 and 6 is very different to 9 and 11.

Husband would go in a heartbeat I’m sure. I think it’s quite important for your career and visibility and bonding with colleagues. You should go. And a supportive loving husband would understand that and support you. I hope he does.
Go.

she should want to go because this type of thing helps advance your career (or keep your job)

That is worth a week away.

But it is up to her, and she is a grown woman. What a lot of women forget is that sometimes you put your kids first, sometimes you put your work first. For me, this is a job first thing.

Firstly, where do you work and are they hiring? 😁

From your posts it sounds like you'd quite like to go but aren't desperate to. Your DH is being sulky so you're erring towards not going.

My kids spent plenty of full weeks at holiday club at primary school age, lots and lots of other families have to do this for most of the school holidays. Is PGL / some sort of residential club for a week an option? They get a little holiday and so do you. Plus your DH doesn't have to content with the abject horror of having to get up a bit early and (gasp) make packed lunches for his own offspring.

if op were a man I think there would be a bit more push back on “taking a jolly” when he’d already been away loads and the timing wasn’t great.

that said, I’d be ok with it, and if I were op I’d be ok with going. I’d just make sure my partner got some time or something themselves

Could your husband take a weeks parental leave? It is unpaid but it’s a right (I.e. employer can’t ripeto ) as long as 21 days notice is given. Might be more manageable if he doesn’t have to work? Obviously there is the financial hit to consider.

Most of the colleagues are based in the US, so a UK trip would be long haul too… but for more people.

I was going to say it is a bit unreasonable to go, but if he’s been on “fun” holidays this year already and you haven’t, then you absolutely should go and have an amazing time!

Would you DH go if it was his work? Go, the kids will be fine and DH will live.

You should go for all the reasons already stated.

are you in London - my son is home from uni, he can be your nanny for the week ;-)

Honestly though, enlisting a little student help is cost effective, and they will appreciate it.

I would decline. I would not want a week's holiday with my colleagues, even though I enjoy working with them.

If the company mentions corporate and social responsibility, then they are hypocrites to be supporting a long haul break. Easy enough to reward colleagues if they wish by booking somewhere for a week somewhere in the UK.

I would be raging at my work, for being so inconsiderate of working parents in their timing, tbh. I bet you are not the only person finding it a tricky one.

I wouldn't go, and make sure they knew that their shit timing was why. But I'd also hate it, which would make the decision easier!

Do you actually want to go? Or do you feel you should go?

What your husband would do is irrelevant, I feel.

As a PP said, if the answer is is that your DH or any other man would go, then go. There will probably be great networking opportunities.

I would definitely go

Only if she wants to go for herself, she shouldn't go just because he would want to.

Why can’t your DH take some time off, a few days? Long weekend? Then it’s not the woke wee of holidays clubs?

I have to go to the US every August, my DH takes DC to visit family or hangs out with them

No @CantdecidewtI wouldn’t go. Firstly, you’re not even sure you want to go, you certainly don’t sound like you want to. Secondly, no way would I fly long haul for just 1 week with the jet lag, it’s at least an 8 hour flight with an extra 2 to 3 hours before that spent travelling to the airport and hanging around the airport so approx 11 hours each way. You’ve already been away several times this year, it’ll be in the middle of the school holidays and your DH would prefer you didn’t go.

Also, the Caribbean / Mexico will be sweltering in July probably nearly 40 degrees, do you cope well in that heat? Spend the time with your children (they grow up so quickly!) as you’ll most likely be off if all your colleagues are away. Are any of your colleagues in your situation with young kids and if so what have they decided to do?

Out of interest, what job do you do at as it’s unusual for a company to treat employees to a fully paid luxury holiday abroad?

easy peasy decision then.

Tbh that is a good rule of thumb with most work situations: think, what would a man do?

I think that a family discussion is more about listening to what the children have to say on the matter and allowing the parents to understand their view and any worries and concerns they have. And enabling them to explain what arrangements there will be , and possibly make minor adjustments to accommodate any specific worries the children have. It's not about them deciding whether OP goes or nit

I suppose I'm talking parenting styles here: the mum and dad making the decisions and telling the children what will happen . Versus family discussions where what mum and dad decide is still the final outcome but the children get to feel involved and that their opinions matter.

I'll agree to differ with you.