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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my cat sitter was in the wrong?

136 replies

Tabbyz · 31/05/2026 10:01

I got back from holiday yesterday and I used a cat sitter for my 2 cats. The instructions were clear, one cat can come and go as she pleases and the other one can come in while cat sitter is there but must put her back out before leaving.

The first day they came, they did a visit in the morning and evening and in the evening report it said that there was a poo outside of the litter tray and they had cleaned it up. I messaged her to say that will be because you kept Olivia inside and if you keep her outside, she will toilet outside.

I got back yesterday to a poo in my living room and Olivia was inside!! I contacted her asking why my instructions were not adhered to and she said she didn’t think it was in Olivia’s best interest to be outside as she didn’t want to go and when she placed her outside she was crying to come back in. But it’s not up to her to make that decision. Those were my wishes and the cat would’ve been absolutely fine, it was only 4 days . What is the point in leaving them instructions? AIBU to leave a bad review and not use them again?

OP posts:
tiramisugelato · 31/05/2026 12:08

Tabbyz · 31/05/2026 12:07

With all due respect, none of you know my cat. She is 7 years old, we have been through many heatwaves over the past 7 years and she prefers to be outside. It just so happens that at the specific time when the cat sitter was there, she wanted to come in for a bit. However, she would have been much happier staying outside than being shut indoors. I know what she’s like, I know what she prefers. During heatwaves I will usually leave the back door open so they can come and go. My other cat Binky would prefer to be inside, but you can catch Olivia either taking shade somewhere such as a bush or grass, lay on our outdoor sofa (we leave the umbrella up for her so that the sofa is always in the shade), at the side of our building in the ginnel as there is a roof on it, or lay on our kitchen extension roof (flat roof) watching the world go by.

When I am working, she will cry to come in so I let her inside. Then 20 minutes later she will be crying to go back out again. Then she will stay out for hours. Come back at tea time, cry to go back outside and then not come home again until her time where I will then keep her in and go to bed. I understand she was crying to come in but she would not have wanted to STAY in. She doesn’t like pooing in her tray so she’ll hold it and then eventually just go on the floor or the bed or the couch. She prefers to do her business outside.

You need to get a cat flap. Then none of this would have happened.

Jellycatspyjamas · 31/05/2026 12:08

I think it’s very different having a cat outside most of the day when you’re home from work and can keep an eye. I’d not be comfortable locking any animal out of their home 22 hours a day with no one on hand to monitor them, so I wouldn’t have taken the job.

Tabbyz · 31/05/2026 12:07

With all due respect, none of you know my cat. She is 7 years old, we have been through many heatwaves over the past 7 years and she prefers to be outside. It just so happens that at the specific time when the cat sitter was there, she wanted to come in for a bit. However, she would have been much happier staying outside than being shut indoors. I know what she’s like, I know what she prefers. During heatwaves I will usually leave the back door open so they can come and go. My other cat Binky would prefer to be inside, but you can catch Olivia either taking shade somewhere such as a bush or grass, lay on our outdoor sofa (we leave the umbrella up for her so that the sofa is always in the shade), at the side of our building in the ginnel as there is a roof on it, or lay on our kitchen extension roof (flat roof) watching the world go by.

When I am working, she will cry to come in so I let her inside. Then 20 minutes later she will be crying to go back out again. Then she will stay out for hours. Come back at tea time, cry to go back outside and then not come home again until her time where I will then keep her in and go to bed. I understand she was crying to come in but she would not have wanted to STAY in. She doesn’t like pooing in her tray so she’ll hold it and then eventually just go on the floor or the bed or the couch. She prefers to do her business outside.

OP posts:
Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 31/05/2026 12:03

SockPlant · 31/05/2026 12:01

yes because kids and cats are exactly the same.

Cats are fine outside.

You are right. Kids are way more work. And this idiot can't manage a cat.

beethecrackon24995 · 31/05/2026 12:02

Poor old Olivia, being forced to go outside.. I'd not force my cat to go out

Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 31/05/2026 12:02

Oh owner of 9 cats BTW. Before anyone starts.

SockPlant · 31/05/2026 12:01

yes because kids and cats are exactly the same.

Cats are fine outside.

Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 31/05/2026 12:01

There is something wrong with you love. I spent days with fans, curtains closed, frozen bottles and putting water outside for cats belonging to dickheads. You can't stick a cat out for 4 days in that heat and send someone round to see if it is ok now and again.

I hope it goes and finds another home. Chirst I hope you haven't got kids.

SockPlant · 31/05/2026 11:59

sprigatito · 31/05/2026 10:40

She could, but the RSPCA is about as much use as a barber’s shop on the steps of the guillotine.

The cat sitter may have assumed that the cat preferred to be outside, or at least wouldn’t be distressed by it. Once she realised that wasn’t the case, and in sole charge, she did the right thing.

disclaimer: i am not clutching my pearls at the thought of a cat outside whatever the weather.

ec5881 · 31/05/2026 11:56

There are so many ppl who don’t know anything about cats who have such strong, ill-informed opinions. So many people who these days cart cats off to rehoming centres to “check their chip” when the cat is simply out and about, meowing, etc. “They’re lost”. Urgh. Of course your cat would be fine outside if that’s where they usually live. They didn’t always have roofs over their heads. Think of cats in Greece! The cat would find shade, lick herself to stay cool. The cat sitter was wrong, and so many on this thread are too. I think your vote percentage is more reflective of the number of people who don’t have or understand cats. I know I’m (rightfully) going to get hatred for this but they’re probably the people who also use the phrase “fur babies”. Yanbu.

Itiswhysofew · 31/05/2026 11:52

Team Cat Sitter, here. Your cat needs access to your home for comfort and to be out of the elements. My cats were flat out in the heat and came inside regualrly to lie on the cool tiles. Get a microchip catflap.

Cat 💩 isn't pleasant, but it's not a big deal.

IPM · 31/05/2026 11:46

Doveyouknow · 31/05/2026 11:20

Cats normally find cool shady areas in a heatwave. My cat spends a lot of time indoors normally but has been out a lot during the hot weather - he tends to hide under a bush. As long as the cat had access to shelter, food and water I don't think it is unkind to keep them out.

Of course it's unkind.

Cat's will snooze under a bush during the day because it's light and they can see predators.

At night time they need to be higher up to keep an eye out and if they're not, they can't truly relax and sleep so will end up exhausted.

IPM · 31/05/2026 11:43

SockPlant · 31/05/2026 10:37

then the cat sitter should have declined the contract so OP could have got someone else.

And if the cat sitter honestly believes that OP is cruel, she can go to the RSPCA.

The RSPCA wouldn't deal with this as they'd see it as cruelty on to low a level for them to intervene.

However, that doesn't mean it isn't cruel or that the OP should be a cat owner.

Fluffybuns88 · 31/05/2026 11:37

Yes she should have followed your instructions under normal circumstances, but the last 4 days haven't been that.

I would much rather have come home to a shit on my floor than a sick or dead cat. It's been absolutely sweltering here over the last 4 days, highs of 35c.

I know you've said the cat has access to water and shelter but for reference we have a duck bath that's about 6 inches deep and we've had to fill it up twice a day because it's been so hot it's evaporated.

RiskyBiz · 31/05/2026 11:35

My cat opted not to be in on the really hot days.
It's been 32 degrees in my living room, and 34 upstairs. He found himself a nice dirt patch in the shade outside and has made every attempt to escape when brought inside!

CatsRuleMyLife · 31/05/2026 11:32

If they've got plenty of shade, dry food and fresh water out I can't see why Olivia should be shut in. Yes it was hot last week, but under bushes, or in long grass it was ok and probably cooler than being indoors. Would be different if it was freezing and there was snow.

I've barely seen my in/outdoor cats during the heat, they come for food and to check I'm working then go off into the bushes. Having had to crawl under one huge bush to get one, to give him his daily tablet, I can definitely say it was way cooler under there than indoors!

The cat sitter should have done as instructed. Personally I don't like mine being left out for nore than a few hours without access to come inside and don't like them left out at night but you know your cats and what they're used to.

tiramisugelato · 31/05/2026 11:31

Doveyouknow · 31/05/2026 11:20

Cats normally find cool shady areas in a heatwave. My cat spends a lot of time indoors normally but has been out a lot during the hot weather - he tends to hide under a bush. As long as the cat had access to shelter, food and water I don't think it is unkind to keep them out.

A bush isn't shelter - they really need somewhere inside to go if they wish. A shed, a garage, a cat house etc.

Mine has been indoors a lot during the heatwave as even in the shade, the temperatures were in the early thirties.

squashyhat · 31/05/2026 11:22

YANBU. Your cats, your decision: you were quite clear in your instructions and it's not up to the cat sitter to go against them. If they were concerned they should have contacted you to check. I would definitely leave a realistic review.

Doveyouknow · 31/05/2026 11:20

Cats normally find cool shady areas in a heatwave. My cat spends a lot of time indoors normally but has been out a lot during the hot weather - he tends to hide under a bush. As long as the cat had access to shelter, food and water I don't think it is unkind to keep them out.

Passingthrough123 · 31/05/2026 11:18

Why don't you have a cat flap?

AhBiscuits · 31/05/2026 11:13

Your instructions were cruel and I'd have ignored them too.

helpfulperson · 31/05/2026 11:11

You need to rethink because I don't imagine her or any other local catsitters will take a booking from you again.

Notabarbie · 31/05/2026 11:07

It sounds very much as if this is not a situation where there is a cool outbuilding for the cat to retreat to or you would have mentioned it.

I wouldn't look at a garden and feel confident to evaluate whether there would be enough shade throughout the day, especiallly on an exceptionally hot day with no breeze.

I can understand why your instructions weren't followed on this occasion. I would let it go.

RandalsAunty · 31/05/2026 11:06

My cat comes and goes as he pleases - we have a cat flap. And in the hot weather he never stays indoor during the day. He prefers staying outside, sleeping in shady undergrowth / little woods near my house. So unless have concrete car park instead of garden, the cat sitter is out of order for not following the instructions.

elessar · 31/05/2026 11:05

It sounds like you should have a cat flap, that would solve your problem.

I also don’t love the idea of a cat being locked outside during a heatwave. In fairness, over the last week our cat has chosen to spend most of the day outside (under a thick hedge), but we have a cat flap and he always has the option to come inside.

If the only reason for you not wanting the cat inside is because it will toilet outside the tray, just get a flap so it can go outside!

Either way I think this is relatively a minor event. No disaster happened because the cat was inside. She used her judgement for what she felt was best, and though it didn’t align with your instructions, if the only negative impact was a poo on the floor (which is the work of moments to clean up) then I would let this go and move on.