Driving new car anxiety

I agree. I used to be the driver when we were abroad on holidays and renting cars, and after the first quarter of an hour or so, it all becomes natural/normal. I've ended up with a mix of automatics/manuals, diesels/petrol/electric/hybrid, large and small, and you soon settle in to whatever you're driving.

Nail on the head. Just park further away where you can park without mounting the pavement and damage to wheels/alloys will be far less likely.

It's not "your" fault if someone scratches or dents it in a car park, so don't be anxious about that. It's just a risk of owning a car and can happen to anyone, anywhere.

Re your anxiety about driving it, just practice, preferably on your own, take it to quieter places to get a feel for it, how it runs, the automatic, the size, etc. Practice reverse parking in a semi-empty car park. That will give you confidence so that you're less likely to actually cause any damage from your own driving, i.e. not clipping the pavement kerbs, not scratching/denting anyone else's car, etc.

You have no business parking on the pavement near the school, or anywhere else, so don’t do that and you won’t damage your alloys.

Automatics are fabulous! They are a bit strange to start with but they quickly become indespensible. And it often takes me a bit to remember to use the clutch in my car when I've been using our automatic for a while. Just put your left foot out of the way .

Ignore any/most of the stuff the dash is telling you. Just know where the indicators/wipers are, how to pop the boot and where the filler cap is.

Take the car out alone for a bit of a drive round. Go and sit in a carpark with the handbook if you want to know how to use the in board computer free from distraction.

What car is it? I remember first upgrading from the humble little hatchback I learned and it took a while to get used to the (stupidly big) car DH bought me. Practice parking in the local supermarket, and if you get scratches and dents, remember it’s just a piece of metal. You’ll soon get used to your new car.

You will get used a to a new car really quickly. It will surprise you.
I had to hire a van the other week and had never driven anything bigger than a fiesta. I was, like you, really anxious. But turned out to be really easy to get used to.

Just don't drive over pot holes. Aim so the hole goes under the car or drive round it, the same way everyone does in any car they're driving.

This, a lot of men are back seat drivers. I refuse to drive him anywhere. He just doesn't like being a passenger in any car.

Apologies as I seem to have upset you somehow? I’m not sure how or why what I’ve said in my original post that you quoted has annoyed you but my apologies!
I just use hubs as it’s easier that keep typing my husband 🙄

@Loulou4022 yes, I got you were married, because you refer to "hubs". I agree, cars are big ticket items and yes my husband contributed to the family car, because it was the family car, but when we need a new one, I tell him. Historically, when the children were little, and I was only earning pin money, he transferred me some for a new car. I never bought a luxury car: Citroen Picasso, Ford SMax, CRV over 30 years. When I lose confidence in the car doing 1000km from the UK to France, it gets replaced. We're a team too but within that team we both have agency. Despite being married for 35 years, he's never been "hubs".

I think this was a response to me? My car is 24 years old and while very reliable now it won’t always be! As we’re married and hubs earns significantly more than me he would want to contribute to a new car for me, though as I said I’m not bothered about a new one so my feeling is he can have the new one and I’ll have his newer than mine but still old golf. We’re a team so it would be a joint decision/ purchase when the time comes.

My car is a new Volvo xc40 so not luxury but it has all the bells and whistles and makes driving far easier than a clapped out old manual ever would be. I can only imagine a luxury car would come with even more tech than mine has. Take the car for a spin round a quiet area and you will probably be surprised. Pedal wise it’s no different to the way you drive now except you don’t use your left foot as no clutch. Just use the right foot to go and stop in exactly the same way you do now.

Trying really hard to unpick this response from hubs at one end of it to hubs talking about getting you, his wife, a new car.

My car has always been the family car and when it's worn out, I've replaced it and told DH what I'm doing. It has never been a consultative decision; it's been a size, engine capacity, safety and reliability matter and I am trusted to make the right decision.

He has the super powerful V8, I think, wank mobile and came home with the first one, 12/13 years ago - as soon as we had secure parking. His treat, his money, no issue.

I am the more competent driver having driven since I was 17, whereas dh didn't learn until he was 33.

If it’s a luxury car I’m assuming it’s expensive? Wouldn’t it have been better to get two smaller, cheaper cars and have one each?

(I’m 😳 at you having no disposable income - I assume this is the same for dh then? Otherwise you’re being financially abused).

Exactly this! Hubs had been talking about getting me a new car but I was a bit meh not bothered so we decided to save to pay the mortgage off instead! I’m pretty decided if there’s a new car in the offing hubs can have that and I’ll have his old but newer than mine golf!!!

OMG I’m glad I’m not the only one who cry’s when cars go! I’ve had mine 20 years now and I think I’m gonna need therapy when it dies!!!

@Annie2163 oir cars are.deiven on busy roads and mine is parked manyntimes.a week.on the street or in public car parks. Scratches and nicks happen, it's an motoring hazard even for good drivers. There are dozens of places/people who deal with them, usually on your drive.

To be honest if DH railroaded me into getting a luxury car and then I scratched it, I'd probably say that was on him! I love my 13 year old Fiesta, I'll be keeping it until it conks out completely.

I agree with others, go out on your own for short drives and build up, like a new driver would. I'm sure you'll get used to it, once you go automatic you won't want to go back to manual

Just go out, alone, and practice loads. Including parking. Take it to a large open car park and practice manoeuvring into and out of spaces including lots of reversing. I expect it has a reversing camera so get used to using that which will be very helpful.

Learn to drive new car on your own. Automatic cars are so much easier to drive but you need to set your left foot way to the side at first so you get used to not using it. Imagine it’s a go-kart!

It’s a car. It will get scratched.

I hear you on the Fiesta love. Mine is twelve years old and I will cry my eyes out when it becomes unviable.

Just don’t have your dh in the car with you. I never drive the car with him in it if I can help it

I’m a driving instructor who has specialised in nervous drivers.

1. Talk to your husband about the way he’s talking to you when you’re driving. Mistakes do happen and braking when driving auto for the first time is very common. If he’s annoyed then that’s going to make you more nervous. A nervous driver is going to not have as clear head as someone who isn’t nervous. Ditto with your kids and the ‘we’re going to die’, it’s not respectful or correct.
2. Where’s the evidence that you’re more likely to crash this car than your husband? Have you had big accidents? Give yourself a defence as well as a prosecution.
3. The car is a luxury brand, great! It’s going to have so much more on board to keep you safe and accident free. Read the manual, find out about the safety systems it’ll have. If you can drive a basic Fiesta and keep safe then the new car will be a doddle. Empower yourself by finding out more about the car than your husband, that’ll teach him a lesson 😂
4. There are advanced driver organisations who can teach you more. ROSPA and IAM Roadsmart are good places to look. We expect to take our driving test and never improve on what we do, that should change, your confidence shoots up after additional training.

I drive a large luxury car and can honestly say it’s an absolute dream to drive - so easy- and I can absolutely guarantee you I would find your Fiesta a lot more difficult. Give it a go, drive only you if your family can’t behave verbally, and enjoy it!

Its just a car. It doesnt matter if it get scratched and you need a car to drive around which your DH knew so he cant get annoyed at you.

Go out in it on your own without anyone to get a bit more use to it. When you get use to it an automatic is 100 times easier than a manual to drive.

My DH has a luxury large SUV from work. Its huge compare to my little Renault but I now prefer driving his. Its easier to park thanks to the 100 cameras and although makes alot of different noises you get use to it