Driving new car anxiety

I had only ever driven a manual to pass my test and then didn't drive at all for over a decade because of living in a more urban area, then we moved to the suburbs and I had to get used to driving DH's modern, hi-tech automatic. I actually find it so much easier now than my old manual, all the cameras are so helpful for parking and navigating tight carparks, and not having to even think about gear changes or hill starts is great. Just take it out for drives to places you feel more confident to start with and then build up to more challenging places once you feel more comfortable.

If you read OP's other threads though you'll see what a dick he is.

I’ve driven different cars & hire cars but refuse to drive an automatic or anything too big. I’ll probably be one of the last people driving a petrol car given the conversion to electric/auto.

I understand how you’re feeling OP. If you’re used to an old car, it feels very intimidating to be driving something so new and modern.

When we got our new car, I took it for a drive somewhere quiet, not much traffic, no passengers and just drove it around getting used to the controls. Then parked up in a supermarket at the quiet end and did a few manoeuvres.

Driving a new automatic is much, much easier than driving an old banger. In a week or so you will wonder what you were worrying about, I promise you. And if you’re worried about accidents etc, then invest in a decent dash cam.

They will have to prize my manual car from my cold dead hands! I absolutely refuse to get an automatic.

Why didn't you have more of a say in the new car since you're the one who'll be driving it most of the time?

It’s a car, a piece of metal, I don’t drive anymore but I can say my husband would careless about the car if it was scraped etc as long as I wasn’t injured. Don’t overthink it, more likely to have an accident if your worrying OP.

Life is too short and full of enough stress and anxieties to be anxious about a car, imo. If it gets scratched, it can be repaired. If you're in a crash, presumably you're appropriately insured and really all that matters is that you're okay. The way you're driving is actually probably going to make you more likely to have an accident, drive confidently and competently as I'm sure you did in your previous cars. I probably wouldnt drive full pelt over a pothole in a brand new car (or any car, really), I would avoid if safe to do so, if not there isnt much you can do.

Sounds like your husband is an arse, shouting at you while driving, but presumably thats a different thread!

If it’s a new car it will presumably have amazing inbuilt sensors and rear view tv screen etc so it’s actually pretty impossible to have a parking accident

You're staying with your piece of shit husband then? Fuck the car, I'd leave him and the car and start carving out a life for yourself.

I couldn’t care less if it’s easier - it’s crap driving. Boring and rubbish.
One person who is not a fan said she thought it was like driving a go kart - awful.

You need to go out in the car on your own, without someone sat beside you. Drive a route you know well at a quiet time. Do that a couple of times and you'll feel a lot more confident.

I had always driven manual cars (including for many years a Fiesta) and a couple of years ago I got a much larger car, an automatic. It felt odd the first time I drove it but within 15 minutes I'd got used to it, it is much easier to drive.

(Potholes, do whatever is appropriate and safe. Slow down if you have to go over them, or drive round them if that's possible.)

Oh Lord, I suspect this will be me when DH persuades me to try to drive his new Audi automatic. I’m putting it off as long as possible, happy in my 2016 Fiesta which fortunately is very low mileage. If I could stretch to an upgrade myself I’d go for a three year old Puma, manual with a proper handbrake. I couldn’t stand the last Audi which had a stupid button thing instead of a handbrake. And now he’s got an automatic.

I’m also fed up of PIL and others claiming I’ll love driving it. No I bloody well won’t. I drove the old Audi enough to know I didn’t like the stupid sort of hand brake. I hated that you didn’t need to release it when you set off. I actually like to drive using gears etc!!!

It is not always possible to avoid potholes. Sometimes they are covered by puddles of water or it's dark, or both.

And sometimes there's something coming the other way and there's no room for you to move out.

You just have to hope that you don't hit any big ones. But that's where a smaller car helps as you have more space to avoid them.

I have no idea why you would deliberately drive over them though.

I actually think your relationship DOES matter here.

Why did he buy a car you didn't want.

Why is he protective?

Why are you scared of pranging it? Because of his reaction?

If you are worried about having dings in a car you don't buy a brand new one. Because they will happen. It might not be your fault, there might just be a stone fly up or someone opens a car door into you.

Automatics are easy to drive by the way. You will be used to it in 20 minutes.

How patronising. I am well aware you don’t need to touch the kerb to park. I was just saying that one is more likely to damage alloys when attempting to park parallel to the kerb than when bumping up on to the pavement.

I went from a Fiat 500 to a big Nissan last October, and I was terrified. Plus my Dad chipped in £10k for it, so I felt even more pressure not to scratch it!. It's also an automatic and although I had an automatic car about 12yrs ago, I hadn't driven one since and I was scared. I was even on YouTube watching videos about how to drive one 😜

I wouldn't go on a test drive and when I collected it from the car showroom I just assumed everyone was staring at me as I eased my way into the traffic. I tootled back home, and there it sat on the driveway for days as I was too nervous to drive it.

However, fast forward a few weeks and I fell in love with it. Automatic cars are so much easier, and I love the cameras and parking assist. I am hugely happy with my new car, and I really can't imagine going back.

Good luck OP.

I agree, speeding and bouncing over potholes is completely avoidable and does cause long term (and short term) damage to the car. Just because nothing happened in your old Fiesta doesn't mean there was no damage being caused. Not just wheels, but particularly to all the suspension components, steering joints, etc. I'd put money on your old Fiesta having needed some components flagged up during servicing or annual MOTs, such as boots, seals, suspension arms, etc - that's wear and tear often caused by bouncing up/down kerbs, going into potholes, etc - the damage isn't immediate so you don't notice it, but it builds up over time.

All easily avoidable by being more observant, allowing bigger distances between you and cars in front so you've time to react to avoid pot holes, etc.

You don't need to touch the kerb to park - you should stay a few inches away. If you mount the kerb, tes your steering wheel tyres will touch the kerb not the alloys, but you can't control trailing wheels and if you get the angle wrong, you'll scrap on/off the kerb thus damaging the alloys. Best to just be more careful and stay away from hitting/scraping the kerb in any way at all. It's not necessary.

Bouncing up and down kerbs also damages the kerbs over time.

Hi OP. Try this: Imagine you live completely alone. No kids or husband. You win a beautiful new car (and have no other car).

On a scale of 1 to 10 how worried are you about damaging it or driving it wrongly? (1 the lowest)

Now imagine the same scenario but you have kids in the back. 1 to 10.
Now again, your husband next to you. 1 to 10.

It may be that your husband has to step up and take on more of the household driving. You say you don't have any disposable income, but could he pay for a couple of driving lessons so you get more confidence? Is your driving position correct - have you adjusted the seat to the right height and the steering to the right position for your body?

To return to the point of the thread. Forget it being a “luxury” car, it’s just a car. Take it out alone at a quiet time and get used to it. Never use your left foot, you don’t need it and you’ll soon forget you ever drove a manual - after 16 years of automatics I doubt I even could any more. If it’s got a load of gizmos to help you park get your bloke to give you a guided tour of them - I bet you end up loving the reversing camera and parking sensors.

I would probably shout at you as well if you kept driving into potholes. You need to avoid them either by positioning yourself so that the wheels go around the pot hole if it is safe to move out a bit to avoid or by slowing right down. Hitting potholes at speed can cause a lot of expensive damage to a car.

Yes I suspect we’ve got exactly the right impression of him.

Bought a ‘family car’ with no consideration for or input from the person who seems to be driving it most of the time.

’Not happy’ when she made a minor mistake the first time driving it.

His attitude rubbing off on the children who are making comments about it now too.

Shouting at OP when she’s driving so she’s too scared to go a normal speed.

Zero disposable income while he buys a ‘luxury’ car that only he wants.

If it’s a family car then he has no right to be criticising how you drive it (also if it’s a family car then it’s odd he seems to have chosen this all by himself when you will be driving it so much, don’t really understand how that has come about).

It’s just a car, luxury or not. If it gets scratched it gets scratched, that’s life. If he doesn’t want it to be driven then he shouldn’t have bought it. The backseat driving can do one too. Anyone shouting at me when driving can get out of the car and walk.

@OP you started your update by saying that you felt you had been harsh and given the wrong impression of your husband. Then you went on to say that he was literally SHOUTING at you while you were driving.

I’m sorry but that is not excusable behaviour, at any time, but especially when he knows you are still nervous. Have you somehow lost sight of what is normal?

And why have you ignored the advice of pretty much every poster to take the car out on your own?

What are you talking about? Alloys can get damaged when you are tucking yourself neatly in beside the kerb. If you mount the pavement the tyre touches the kerb, not the alloy.