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AIBU?

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To think parents are not teaching any independence?

510 replies

MrBlobbysNuts · 31/05/2026 00:03

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

OP posts:
suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:01

Dollysleftnip · 31/05/2026 06:51

There was.

I doubt you lived in my area. There were two on my 40 minute walk home from school.

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:00

youalright · 31/05/2026 06:46

Thats unusual though most areas had phoneboxes

Do you think that the local pedo or bully was going to wait for you to make that phone call before leaping though? So I don't see that making any real difference.

I remember once a gang of kids were going to rob us (overheard them). I dragged my younger sibling away from the bus stop we were at and they were gaining on us. They were almost there and ready to surround us when I found an open shop (it was just on closing) and dragged my sibling into it. I was about 11. I asked the shop keeper to phone me a taxi as I didn't know how, and got home that way. My mother had prepared me to take a taxi if I needed to and she would pay for it. We didn't have a lot of money either. I got home and told her I had to pay a taxi and I'd explain after. That's equipping your kids.

Hephzibah64 · 31/05/2026 07:00

Years ago my dd aged about 12 was badly bullied and spat on by a boy on her school bus. She had a mobile so called me in floods of tears and scared to get off at her stop in case he followed her. I was able to get to the stop and comfort her.
I agree with the ban whilst at school but not on the journey to and from school.
I know we didn’t have mobiles 20/30 years ago but we do now . Having something that that makes a parent and child feel bit safer and more secure can only be a good thing surely?

gldd · 31/05/2026 06:53

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/05/2026 00:59

Mobile phones have been around since the '90's and smart phones since mid-'00's so entire generations have grown up with them. I think banning phones is rather controlling. People should have them if they want and kids should be taught respectful use at school rather than taking them away.

Alcohol has been around since 7000 BC. Mass affordable cars have been around since the 1920s. Should young children not be banned from them and instead be taught 'respectful use'? The reason we have (by way of an example) speed limits on roads is that not everyone practices respectful use. I too would rather we didn't have to ban things, and that parents could both model good behaviors for children and restrain from giving smart (not dumb) phones to children, but they don't.

Mattters291 · 31/05/2026 06:53

I don’t link this with independence to be honest. Life moved on. Just because something makes today a bit safer doesn’t mean children are losing independence. Are you saying as a grown adult if you were in the middle of no where and got hurt / injured you wouldn’t use your mobile to call for help ? Because back in the day you wouldn’t have been able to.
I track my 12 year old and I really don’t care. Imagine life May have been very different for some parents in the past like Millie , holly , Jessica , Sarah and more, if things that available then as they are today.

Dollysleftnip · 31/05/2026 06:51

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 06:44

Not in my area there weren't.

There was.

Dollysleftnip · 31/05/2026 06:50

Ottersideofthebridge · 31/05/2026 00:27

We didn't have phones, but there were ample phone boxes and we always had money or a BT card. People seem to forget this. Had a horrible experience walking home from school when I was 12, we'd been followed by a van, a guy leant out and tried to drag my friend in. We ran for the nearest shop and the police were called.
I always made sure my kids had phones. Bad stuff can happen even on a short journey. DD had kids threatening to beat her up, she didn't get off the bus and phoned me to come and get her. There are kids catching the tube home and other trains, what if they need to phone the BTP.

There are no Manned police stations either any more. There’s a phone outside with a connection to one oh one that nobody answers.

PersephoneParlormaid · 31/05/2026 06:50

Schools around me are adopting these pouches that lock away the phones in school time. Staff are reporting positive behaviours, including kids actually talking to each other in breaks rather than being glued to screens.

youalright · 31/05/2026 06:46

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 06:44

Not in my area there weren't.

Thats unusual though most areas had phoneboxes

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 06:44

youalright · 31/05/2026 06:40

People always say we never had mobile phones as kids and where fine but there where phone boxes everywhere

Not in my area there weren't.

youalright · 31/05/2026 06:40

People always say we never had mobile phones as kids and where fine but there where phone boxes everywhere

WaveChaser · 31/05/2026 06:37

The world has moved on from 'our day'. My children have a 25 min walk from their school into the city centre to get the bus home- one has seizures. I prefer them to have phones, doesn't mean they're not independent.

Mapletree1985 · 31/05/2026 06:36

You can teach children "respectful use" all you want. Doesn't mean they are going to practice what you taught them. Children are pretty famous for doing what they want rather than what adults tell them to do.

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 06:36

Offthepath · 31/05/2026 06:14

A friend of mine was beaten unconscious by kids from a nearby school. My cousin was chased by much bigger boys. And this was all in a fairly nice area. We really weren't managing all that well back then.

Do you think those victims would have been any better off with a phone? I don't think bullies would have waited to start chasing or held off hurting anyone until they'd had a chance to make a phone call first. They'd just get started.

In fact, there have been a few items in the news recently about people getting beaten up in order to be robbed of their phones.

We managed back in the day. We asked the school bus driver for help or ran into a shop or used our initiative when we could.

ToffeeCrabApple · 31/05/2026 06:35

hahabahbag · 31/05/2026 06:20

Our local bus company are bringing back physical young person bus passes from September as many schools are stopping phones in this region. My local school isn’t (small town) but most the nearby city schools are which is a different district. Some tried this year but the pass situation made it impossible.

my dc managed to go to school with phones only 15 years ago, I’m sure this generation will

This is great.
My son is not getting a smartphone. Dumb phone only and im hoping tbh that even that gets banned.

ToffeeCrabApple · 31/05/2026 06:32

I'm amazed the phone companies aren't designing non-smart phones to meet this demand.

Eg something with locked down capabilities aimed at teens. No social media or web browser, no games, but permitted apps such as transport companies/digital wallets to allow for bus passes etc. Texting & phoning capability. Maybe a music player.

AzureLurker · 31/05/2026 06:32

Gillygallygosh123 · 31/05/2026 00:13

How could they enforce this? They could make the children put their phones in reception during school hours but I can't see how they'd stop them having them out of school hours and building?

I'd not like this rule for my child. At my high school ( over 20 years ago now so maybe things are different ) after school was prime time for any fights or attacks. I'd hate my child to have no way to contact me and being frightened and potentially hurt

It is just not really possible to have say 900 pupils drop off and collect their phones and still have time to get on the buses. In classes I would welcome a complete ban as it means there should be no phones to get out. Many pupils that have the pouches at school now have a second phone or have started taking magnets they buy online to be able to unlock the pouches. It is the single biggest disruption to learning I am dealing with at the moment, they are all obsessed. A blanket ban, whilst I don't necessarily agree with it as a teacher is really the only way to prevent all this.

Memorymaker · 31/05/2026 06:29

Our school is also a medium sized, old style catholic school (very aware and open to parents and children’s needs).

Removing phones altogether would be a problem for my kids cohort as they arrange meeting for the bus and many come back to ours after school to play in the garden or craft.

Octagonchecker · 31/05/2026 06:27

Gillygallygosh123 · 31/05/2026 01:50

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/mums-horror-daughter-12-beaten-27327867.amp

This happened in my childhood hometown. Even if this was a one off incident..... which it isn't depending on what area you live in - would you even want to risk this being your child? It isn't safe for a lot of children these days, it's a fact

She clearly didn't use a phone to call for help, but mobile phones being present meant the crime was recorded, had to be taken seriously by the police as there was evidence ( depending on area police can't do much without evidence )

At least when she got off the bus she would of been able to phone her mum if she had a phone, the area is very hilly and it's not unusual to have to walk 5/10 mins up a long hill or path home, imagine being battered like that and not even being able to contact your parents until you walked through the door 😭

That particular incident sounds like it was made so much worse by all the kids having phones. Filming it and egging the attacker on. While phones allow any kind of attack to be filmed for evidence, the flip side of that is that attacks also happen so that they can be filmed and shared. And having a phone wouldn't have helped her either, you can't ring your mum in the middle of being beaten up.

Alittlefrustrated · 31/05/2026 06:25

Ottersideofthebridge · 31/05/2026 00:32

Wonder if phone boxes depended on the area. There were lots near us, but most families we knew couldn't afford a phone (we were one of them).

There is also a wide age range on here.
I walked 2 mile to school. I passed at least one phone box. Didn't take money to school though (packed lunch).
I'm 57,I never once, ever in my childhood, used a phone box to ring my parents. Just didn't enter my head. Things happened, good and bad, but I told them when I got home.
Edited to say my 15yo has a phone now but never rings either. I do like that he could if he needed to. He didn't have one in primary school but only walked 15/20 mins.

hahabahbag · 31/05/2026 06:24

Remember you can still buy £20 basic phones, put on payg credit and then they have that emergency contact device if you have complex afternoon situations

hahabahbag · 31/05/2026 06:20

Our local bus company are bringing back physical young person bus passes from September as many schools are stopping phones in this region. My local school isn’t (small town) but most the nearby city schools are which is a different district. Some tried this year but the pass situation made it impossible.

my dc managed to go to school with phones only 15 years ago, I’m sure this generation will

Memorymaker · 31/05/2026 06:20

Our local high school has lockable phone bags and phone monitors on the way in in the morning. So the children have to put their phones into a lockable bag (like padded glasses case) as they pass through the scanners going in and show the person that it’s locked and then put in their bag. Then on the way out at 3.15 the panels on the wall are turned on that can be swiped to open them.

Perfect solution as if phone is needed in the day the office can unlock/relock individually.

Then kids have phones for travel in and out as our busses do use them, (lunches are on cards).

Kids do unfortunately need phones outside school times. Cancelled clubs, a group going to homework club, shocking weather so stopping in at friends en route, missed bus. This really is the perfect solution.

Offthepath · 31/05/2026 06:14

PicknStick · 31/05/2026 00:41

Children managed 20 years ago, and they’ll manage now.

A friend of mine was beaten unconscious by kids from a nearby school. My cousin was chased by much bigger boys. And this was all in a fairly nice area. We really weren't managing all that well back then.

Dollymylove · 31/05/2026 06:10

DecisionTime123 · 31/05/2026 00:44

Is the thread only about phones? And yes, in the 1960s, 70s, 80s there were a LOT of phone boxes and everyone knew how to make a reverse charges call. Times change FFS.

I will never forget being on here saying I was worried about my (then) 18 year old DD and someone came on and posted well if she's dead she's dead there's nothing you can do now. Is that where we are setting the bar?

Wow really?