AIBU to think 33 is not too late to start TTC?

I'm over 60, I didn't identify with contemporaries marrying and fast tracking to parenthood straight after uni. In those days it usually meant a career break too. For me that seemed like all that work to make a career for nothing and I also felt marrying was about falling in love and enjoying life together not fast track to parenthood. Never even considered it before 30.

My sister started ttc at almost 35, caught in month 2 ;-) Then 2 years later in month 2 again

I had my first at 23 and had my second at 38 and now I'm pregnant with my third and I will be 40 next month and this baby will be due in December. I don't think 34 is too late at all. I know people who start a family in their mid 40s

Started trying to conceive just before I turned 39 and was pregnant / gave birth when I was 39. So no.

I was 38 and the only mother on the ward not in my forties.
Anyone who hasn’t had tried to have a baby yet might have been completely infertile since their teens for all they know. But since you can’t travel back in time, why not be optimistic? If the lottery odds were the odds you have of conceiving this year or next, we‘d be queuing out the door to buy tickets.
It would also have been awful to regret having a baby you knew at the time you didn’t 100% want. Trying before you know for sure isn’t a good solution either.

Me and my friends all had babies in our 20s. I was the youngest at 23, the year after I married and 28.
My friend is a real outlier and considered a “geriatric mother” by the doctors.

Like you said, it depends on where you live. Where I live now 23 is considered old!
Just make sure you have someone around you!

Gosh, it really depends where you live. Here, you'd struggle to find mums the same age if you were under 30 and be a bit young at 33

It’s not too late biologically, but it’s not something I would personally like to do, having seen a friend really struggle with a baby long after the rest of our social circle.

Not at all. We started when I was 36. I was pregnant in the first month of trying. Same at 38. And, same again at 42. We even had an unplanned pregnancy when I was 34.

Well you can. Freeze your eggs

but if you want to wait another 5yrs doesn’t sound like you really want kids

Of course it’s not too old 🤦🏼‍♀️

I didn’t even consider having a baby till 35, despite being with DH for 15 years before that. Thankfully got pregnant first cycle. Then surprise pregnancies at 38 and 42.

I always feel sorry for anyone getting pregnant in their 20s. So much wasted opportunity and freedom!!

Not read the whole thread. I had my first at 33, which definitely should not count as 'late'!!!

That said - I ended up with two dc when I would have loved a third, but with a couple of miscarriages in amongst the pregnancies it all took too long.

I wasn't comfortable trying for a third at 40+ with the greater risks of problems, so we stopped, but if we'd originally started TTC a year or two earlier, we might have had a chance of having three children.

Holidays of a lifetime are also important, of course, but it's something to think about if you think you might want more than one or two dc.

I had KNOWN fertility issues and I still waited until I was 32 to even begin trying - I wasn't even vaguelly ready for a baby before.

I have long thought that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry had read all the "oh my god, once you're 35 you can't have a baby" bullshit and so started trying on honeymoon - and BANG, baby 9 months later! .

My only comment would be that if nothing has happened after 6 months, start the process of getting assessed as even doing that privately, it can take significant amounts of time. And the doctor who helped us to conceive told me that in a normal, healthy couple having sex at the right time, average time to conception is 3 months. For couples with fertility issues, it's seldom less than 18 months and rises significantly beyond that. Which is where this random "the average amount of tiem to get pregnant is 6 months" theory comes from but is actually in her words, "completely rubbish". She was quite passionate about it! .

Somewhat amusingly, I got pregnant without intervention the second time.... at the six month mark!

The NHS defines 35 and over as advanced maternal age. Last time I checked, 33 was still younger than 35.

More importantly, a risk category beginning at 35 isn't evidence that 33 is "quite late." It just means risks start to increase gradually with age, not that women suddenly become old mothers two years beforehand.

Because the NHS defines over 35 as a geriatric pregnancy.

I genuinely don’t understand these threads.
Lots of people have babies at that age and beyond, but the only way to find out whether it’s late for you is to try. We’d need a crystal ball to answer this.
I had my one and only at just gone 33 with no difficulty.
My sister who is a few years younger than me started trying a couple of years before me and it never happened for her and her partner.
Out of the two of us she is far more fit and healthy too.
It is probably not “too late” for you but if there are problems you want as much time as possible to try to work around them.

Lots of women have waited and everything has been fine too. You can choose to wait 5 years.

I honestly think I only know one person who was 33 or younger when they had their first. Most of my friends and neighbours late 30s is the norm.

So what?

After 35 you are more likely to miscarry and more likely to have a baby with chromosonal abnormalities.

Yes we can have babies when we want but we cant pretend that it doesn't come with additional risks.

Definitely not. I was pregnant at 34, 36, 38 and 42 all in the first month of trying.

It's a little late if you are looking at the average age of a first time mum in the UK. But it's not that late.

Of course, the older you are, statistically, the more likely it is that your fertility will start to drop off. It starts to fall in your early 30s and accelarates after 35 (on average of course, everyone is different)

So no one can tell you whether waiting will cause problems with conception. All we can say is, statistically, the older you are, the more likely you are to have problems. Plenty of people in their 30s conceive reasonably easily. But some don't.

I took 10 months to conceive my first child at 31. I took one attempt to conceive my second child at 32. I got pregnant by accident while on the pill at 35. So who knows how age will affect you.

But it's very normal to have a child in your 30s, and you are right to wait until you feel ready. But it would be unfair to say 'you'll be absolutely fine' because no one can know that for sure, at any age!