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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU not to answer the door about the neighbour's fence?

240 replies

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:40

I don't think I am BU but I feel a bit uneasy about this for some reason.

I came in from a lunch out about an hour ago and went upstairs to open the curtains in my bedroom - the room is south facing so I have been keeping the curtains drawn and wanted to let some cool evening air in before bed tonight. When I opened the curtain my neighbour, who lives at a right angle to me, was in her back garden with someone and was pointing at my house at the moment I opened the curtain. It was a little awkward and we made brief eye contact so I immediately looked away.

I then came downstairs and shortly after there was a knock at the door. I ignored it and it was repeated a couple of times. I could see through the slatted blinds that it was two men. They walked up the drive and paused, then came back down and knocked again a couple of times before finally giving up and going.

I'm sure it was the same neighbour (her partner) who was pointing at my house. There is a fence that blew down a couple of months ago and the man came round to nail it up shortly after it fell as they have a dog. He said it would need replacing and I thought to myself I would probably offer to pay halves though I didn't say anything as I didn't want to commit myself and it was a week night and I was cooking dinner. I don't care about the fence as I have no dog and there is a bush there that gives privacy. I know from my deeds that I'm not responsible but I'm happy to pay halves if it's a reasonable price and they do all the work. But I don't want to discuss it tonight as I've had a bit to drink and it's not urgent to me. I also don't like that they were pointing at my house and were persistent in knocking. AIBU not to have answered?

OP posts:
MyLimeGuide · 31/05/2026 10:16

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

You are 100% right OP and tbh some of the responses on here have been nuts, I think there were a lot of people last night (probably drinking) lol that just wanted to be mean and have a go, because it cheers them up??

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 10:07

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

Good job you're not worried by any of it then. 👍

RipsMyKnitting · 31/05/2026 10:07

Ever thought it was

"Oh look love, Lies' guttering is loose at that end, I'll pop round and let her know, she maybe can't see it from her garden"

Original poster
Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

OP posts:
Airyfaerie · 31/05/2026 10:02

YANBU. You're perfectly entitled not to answer your door for any reason! You could have been in the shower for all they knew. It's your house. I don't get why people here get weird about people not wanting to answer their door. And I agree with you, persistent knocking is rude... Read the room! It's like when people call you over and over again when you don't answer

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 09:56

pilates · 31/05/2026 07:52

I didn’t realise it was so offensive to knock on someone’s door to talk about work that is potentially required. I bet you would have a moan if they just cracked on and ripped the fence down without consulting you. Nowt as weird as folk.

Exactly. Instead they were probably trying to be polite in consulting her first. I'd just crack on and do the fence now. If the workmen have to go into her garden she now can't complain she wasn't asked. A PP mentioned that the dog is the neighbour's responsibility. Quite right, which is why they are trying to do something. Never mind though @Liesmorelies is happy with her bush. ETA: I hope the dog pisses up it.

pilates · 31/05/2026 07:52

I didn’t realise it was so offensive to knock on someone’s door to talk about work that is potentially required. I bet you would have a moan if they just cracked on and ripped the fence down without consulting you. Nowt as weird as folk.

hididdlyho · 31/05/2026 07:38

They were maybe needing access to your garden to install the fence and wanted to ask permission. I would have just knocked and left a note when you didn't answer, but I would ask them what they wanted next time you see them, otherwise it's a bit odd that you ignored them when they knew you were home.

60andcounting · 31/05/2026 07:32

SmoothCollie · 30/05/2026 19:46

All this over a knock on the door. This website is like a different world.

It's bonkers sometimes.

piscofrisco · 31/05/2026 07:30

MyArtfulGreySloth · 30/05/2026 20:13

Why do they need to point at her house though? It is weird.

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The ‘stranger’ was probs it the person they’ve employed to fix the fence and id assume the pointing was done in the course of explaining what needed to be done. It’s not remotely weird.

Jamesblonde2 · 31/05/2026 07:02

You’re off your rocker OP.

SparklyGlitterballs · 31/05/2026 06:53

So you've got e from being certain it was the neighbours partner to saying it was two men and you're not sure who they were.

I don't think it's rude they knocked a few times. They saw you at the window and knew you were in. They may have thought the first time they knocked you might have been in the garden/on the toilet/in the shower and not heard, so tried again. If they walked away and came back they may have seen your shadow behind the slatted blinds and thought "oh, she is in". You call them rude but you're not coming across well yourself here.

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 06:50

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 21:25

I'm 99% certain there is no issue with my house that they can see from their garden. However, if there is, surely they would put a note through if I didn't answer the door to them. That is certainly what I would do in that situation. Unless people think it's 'basic manners' to withhold crucial information about someone's house if they snub you by failing to answer the door for some reason you are unaware of?

You best hope you don't even need their help or co-operation in future. Knowing you were in and ignoring them makes you look ignorant. Yes it is up to you whether you answer but you have painted yourself as strange. They have tried to speak to you about the fence but I expect you will be annoyed about anything they do about that . You're just being awkward.

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 06:36

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:50

Well, yes. If you opened your curtains to find a neighbour pointing up at your house wouldn't you find it a bit strange? And followed by persistent knocking at the door even more so?

Get a grip. They have a dog that they don't want escaping. You sound very self absorbed if it doesn't affect you. Not to mention precious. As for pointing at your property 🙄

Viviennemary · 31/05/2026 06:25

I think not answering the door is extremely rude especially when somebody knows you are actually in the house. Unless its totally unavoidable and you're in the shower.

Notsosweetcaroline · 31/05/2026 06:21

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 00:06

To be neighbourly!

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😂

how’s the head this morning op?

DBSFstupid · 31/05/2026 05:22

HelenaWaiting · 30/05/2026 21:38

Unless I misunderstood, it wasn't her neighbour at the door though. It was two randoms. If it was about the fence, that's pretty rude, imo. The neighbour should be speaking to her directly, not sending workmen round.

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😂
This thread is hilarious, for all the wrong reasons!

DBSFstupid · 31/05/2026 05:20

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 22:18

As I said in the OP, I could only see that the door knockers were 2 men, not who they were. I am assuming one of them was the neighbour but I don't know for sure.

😂

DBSFstupid · 31/05/2026 05:17

user1464187087 · 31/05/2026 05:12

My thoughts exactly. God forbid you should answer your own door.
Are people really this fucking wet??

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😂😂😂

DBSFstupid · 31/05/2026 05:16

user1464187087 · 31/05/2026 05:14

I would have answered the fucking door.
Why didn't you??

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😂
Agree.

DBSFstupid · 31/05/2026 05:15

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 30/05/2026 20:09

Good grief. If you’d just answered the door you’d know what it was all about! Who knows why they were pointing, perhaps they like your windows? Who knows? Who cares. I despair with some of the ridiculous behaviour on MN.

👏

user1464187087 · 31/05/2026 05:14

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:50

Well, yes. If you opened your curtains to find a neighbour pointing up at your house wouldn't you find it a bit strange? And followed by persistent knocking at the door even more so?

I would have answered the fucking door.
Why didn't you??

user1464187087 · 31/05/2026 05:12

SmoothCollie · 30/05/2026 19:46

All this over a knock on the door. This website is like a different world.

My thoughts exactly. God forbid you should answer your own door.
Are people really this fucking wet??

DBSFstupid · 31/05/2026 05:09

SmoothCollie · 30/05/2026 19:46

All this over a knock on the door. This website is like a different world.

Isn't it just!😂

Meadowfinch · 31/05/2026 04:56

I'd have answered it and told them yes, they could mend the fence tomorrow, they wouldn't be disturbing me, but no I wouldn't pay half as the fence is theirs.

I find the sooner you answer doors, the sooner they go away.

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