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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU not to answer the door about the neighbour's fence?

240 replies

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:40

I don't think I am BU but I feel a bit uneasy about this for some reason.

I came in from a lunch out about an hour ago and went upstairs to open the curtains in my bedroom - the room is south facing so I have been keeping the curtains drawn and wanted to let some cool evening air in before bed tonight. When I opened the curtain my neighbour, who lives at a right angle to me, was in her back garden with someone and was pointing at my house at the moment I opened the curtain. It was a little awkward and we made brief eye contact so I immediately looked away.

I then came downstairs and shortly after there was a knock at the door. I ignored it and it was repeated a couple of times. I could see through the slatted blinds that it was two men. They walked up the drive and paused, then came back down and knocked again a couple of times before finally giving up and going.

I'm sure it was the same neighbour (her partner) who was pointing at my house. There is a fence that blew down a couple of months ago and the man came round to nail it up shortly after it fell as they have a dog. He said it would need replacing and I thought to myself I would probably offer to pay halves though I didn't say anything as I didn't want to commit myself and it was a week night and I was cooking dinner. I don't care about the fence as I have no dog and there is a bush there that gives privacy. I know from my deeds that I'm not responsible but I'm happy to pay halves if it's a reasonable price and they do all the work. But I don't want to discuss it tonight as I've had a bit to drink and it's not urgent to me. I also don't like that they were pointing at my house and were persistent in knocking. AIBU not to have answered?

OP posts:
Panda69 · 31/05/2026 18:27

Im with you poster..if I'm not in the mood to communicate with people,it doesn't matter if they know I'm in.And I dont mind them knocking,and knocking again just incase I didn't hear,but to persist is annoying. Your choice if you want to communicate right that minute,and as you had had a drink,not the right time.Even just not in the mood,not the right time,don't answer....And when you do speak to them and they reference we knocked as we saw you were in,simply say you were busy

Karenandfour1 · 31/05/2026 18:17

Why do people ask this sort of stuff when it’s clear they’ve already decided they are absolutely right with their decision. 🤷‍♀️ yabu

Kerrie1973 · 31/05/2026 18:10

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:40

I don't think I am BU but I feel a bit uneasy about this for some reason.

I came in from a lunch out about an hour ago and went upstairs to open the curtains in my bedroom - the room is south facing so I have been keeping the curtains drawn and wanted to let some cool evening air in before bed tonight. When I opened the curtain my neighbour, who lives at a right angle to me, was in her back garden with someone and was pointing at my house at the moment I opened the curtain. It was a little awkward and we made brief eye contact so I immediately looked away.

I then came downstairs and shortly after there was a knock at the door. I ignored it and it was repeated a couple of times. I could see through the slatted blinds that it was two men. They walked up the drive and paused, then came back down and knocked again a couple of times before finally giving up and going.

I'm sure it was the same neighbour (her partner) who was pointing at my house. There is a fence that blew down a couple of months ago and the man came round to nail it up shortly after it fell as they have a dog. He said it would need replacing and I thought to myself I would probably offer to pay halves though I didn't say anything as I didn't want to commit myself and it was a week night and I was cooking dinner. I don't care about the fence as I have no dog and there is a bush there that gives privacy. I know from my deeds that I'm not responsible but I'm happy to pay halves if it's a reasonable price and they do all the work. But I don't want to discuss it tonight as I've had a bit to drink and it's not urgent to me. I also don't like that they were pointing at my house and were persistent in knocking. AIBU not to have answered?

Good on you. If you can't be arsed to answer the door right now, don't.

You're anticipating a conversation with two men you don't know and don't feel comfortable doing at this point in time...well done!

I had GSOH charity people turn up yesterday morning when I was literally just out of bed and answered from behind that door that I wasn't dressed...which was true but also didn't want to have to explain why I don't sign up for. charity doorstep donations...

ElixirOfLife · 31/05/2026 17:58

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 30/05/2026 20:09

Good grief. If you’d just answered the door you’d know what it was all about! Who knows why they were pointing, perhaps they like your windows? Who knows? Who cares. I despair with some of the ridiculous behaviour on MN.

This! Just answer the door! Presumably they’re going to return anyway. 🤷‍♀️

And no they’re not rude for knocking on your door. If they were mooning 🍑 or swearing through the letterbox then that would be rude.

SparkyBlue · 31/05/2026 17:50

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

But if they are trying to get work done and you won’t communicate with them what are they supposed to do. You are making a mountain out of a molehill and creating drama where none exists.

Zanatdy · 31/05/2026 14:24

They are probably wondering why a grown adult won’t answer her door. They clearly want to discuss sorting the fence. My 21yr old son saw a neighbour come 3 times on the ring so went straight round there when he got back, like an adult. Turns out they wanted to ask if his ring had any footage as their cat was killed. I find it very odd that some people don’t answer doors / phones.

Tink3rbell30 · 31/05/2026 14:07

Ironfloor269 · 31/05/2026 14:06

Knocked back a few more cocktails again this morning by the looks of it 🤣

Show quote history

😂😂 of course.

Ironfloor269 · 31/05/2026 14:06

Tink3rbell30 · 31/05/2026 13:17

Have you knocked and sorted it now?

Knocked back a few more cocktails again this morning by the looks of it 🤣

Tink3rbell30 · 31/05/2026 13:17

Have you knocked and sorted it now?

thekindoflovewemake · 31/05/2026 13:13

You were being weird.

They might just have been checking they can access your garden to fix the fence or something? I can’t imagine someone seeing me in the window then refusing to answer the door - you could easily have said “sorry, I’m in the middle of something can you call me later” or whatever.

Liverpool52 · 31/05/2026 12:55

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

Possibly because someone pointing at your house bothers you so much?

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 12:49

Ironfloor269 · 31/05/2026 12:12

Wtf have I just read? Going by OP’s responses this morning, it might not have been the booze talking last night either. She is just batshit bonkers. But keep them coming, OP. I’m loving the laughs 😆

Me too 😆 🤣. Bet she's seen them this morning and been the opposite to them as she's saying on here. They aren't going to forget her strange behaviour.

BudgetBuster · 31/05/2026 12:32

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

Oh christ... have you been drinking for breakfast too?

Sidebeforeself · 31/05/2026 12:23

You should always answer the door..it could be this little fella

Knock Knock GIF by Pudgy Penguins
Ironfloor269 · 31/05/2026 12:12

Wtf have I just read? Going by OP’s responses this morning, it might not have been the booze talking last night either. She is just batshit bonkers. But keep them coming, OP. I’m loving the laughs 😆

latetothefisting · 31/05/2026 11:44

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:50

Well, yes. If you opened your curtains to find a neighbour pointing up at your house wouldn't you find it a bit strange? And followed by persistent knocking at the door even more so?

no, because he obviously had someone round to give a quote, so it would make perfect sense they would a) indicate who owned the adjoining garden b) go round and contact them the same day. Why on earth would they do half the work, go home, and then come back to speak to you while they were already in the area?

the "persistent" knocking was probably because they knew you were in (having seen you at the window) so thought it was weird you weren't answering the door! For all you know he has previously tried to speak to you about it when you weren't in. How on earth are they supposed to know when it is a 'good time' for you to deign to open the door?

I don't understand why, if you weren't ready to commit to paying for it, you at least didn't answer the door and say 'Sorry now isn't a good time,' and ask them to call back. They might not even want you to pay but just need your permission to come into your garden to work on it.

As pp's have said, there is an advantage to you to getting it done as well - won't have a random dog coming into your garden and will look better if you ever come to sell.

Ethelspagetti · 31/05/2026 11:18

I would have answered the door to listen to what they want. I would explain that it’s not my fence and that the fence on the other side belongs to me. Also not to damage my bushes and shrubs. That way they know where you stand.

number1of7 · 31/05/2026 11:14

So glad I have normal neighbours. Well on one side anyhow. The other side are odd. You sound odd.

Notsosweetcaroline · 31/05/2026 11:04

IPM · 31/05/2026 10:51

You're so funny OP 🤣

No matter what anyone here says, you truly believe you're utterly and unequivocally right!

So why in God's name did you start a thread to ask if you're unreasonable?

Think it was the booze.

Notsosweetcaroline · 31/05/2026 11:04

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

Hangover ?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 31/05/2026 10:51

On which side are the fence supports? If on theirs, then AFAIK it’s down to them to replace or fix it.

Though having said that, we did once need to go halves with next door, who were responsible for the fence, but hate spending any money even though it’s a rental they’ve had for over 25 years that now brings in at least £3000 a month!

Tight as you like!

IPM · 31/05/2026 10:51

You're so funny OP 🤣

No matter what anyone here says, you truly believe you're utterly and unequivocally right!

So why in God's name did you start a thread to ask if you're unreasonable?

MyLimeGuide · 31/05/2026 10:47

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 10:23

Not the fence because there isn't one. OP keeps talking about how she's got her bush instead. It's a natural place for a dog to take a liking to.

OK!

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 10:23

Not the fence because there isn't one. OP keeps talking about how she's got her bush instead. It's a natural place for a dog to take a liking to.

MyLimeGuide · 31/05/2026 10:20

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 09:56

Exactly. Instead they were probably trying to be polite in consulting her first. I'd just crack on and do the fence now. If the workmen have to go into her garden she now can't complain she wasn't asked. A PP mentioned that the dog is the neighbour's responsibility. Quite right, which is why they are trying to do something. Never mind though @Liesmorelies is happy with her bush. ETA: I hope the dog pisses up it.

Edited
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So weird, why do you hope someone's dog pisses up OPs fence??