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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to work for cash to pay for treatment

89 replies

gopherit · 30/05/2026 16:50

AIBU to think that if the nhs can't give you the treatment you need and you're expected to self fund (in my case, 2 different types of physio and long-term counselling) then you should be able to work additional hours tax free to be able to fund it? As it is, if I work extra, my universal credit will reduce and it still won't cover it. To do it properly, long term private physio and counselling is already setting me back around £300-400 month which I can't sustain.

I am so fed up. When I chose a vocational career to qualify in, it's because you could survive without luxuries if that's what you chose. I'm not someone who needs or wants 5 long holidays abroad every year! I'm happy to shop cheaply and forego expensive treats, to do something I love and that's good for society (3rd sector). That was the choice I was happy to make when choosing my area of study/speciality. BUT, there was a half decent healthcare and benefits system at the time, which now there isn't. I'd like to work extra to pay for my treatment, but I can't.

Would it enable a society that could more easily fund treatment, rather than struggle to stay in work without?

Apols if I post and run, will be back this evening!

OP posts:
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gopherit · 04/06/2026 20:17

And if someone dares to tell me I need to work on my resiliance or that I need to make better life choices, I'm not sure I will be held responsible for my language!

OP posts:
gopherit · 04/06/2026 20:09

Beckybecbec76 · 04/06/2026 18:51

Just for info, the counsellor you speak of wasn’t referring to none course based therapy. There’s a lot more to it and that’s a misleading statement

Completely agree.

My need for long term therapy is very specific, and a lot to do with not having to keep repeating a complex history to a different person each time I have a flare up, or am triggered by new events and need support from someone who already knows and understands the history and context. It's evident from my history that therapy works for me, so why I cannot get some kind of support with it, given it has enabled me to keep working makes absolutely no sense to me. A lot of my physio, which includes work on 2 major injuries, has been exacerbated by the tension through multiple major loss, bereavement and extreme trauma. I've had to re-work my entire body and it takes time.

Because I have invested and worked hard in therapy in the past, and I respond well to it, I am a good candidate for it long term. The NHS assessment team said as much. But it's not on offer. Without the support going forwards I am more likely to relapse and would then likely need to reduce hours. Yet all the doors are closed until I relapse so badly I cannot function. It's a nuts system. I am also told (by occ health) to limit work activities to those with low stress requirements, so actually my potential to earn more per hr is limited, regardless of sector.

To have effective treatment (for me) labelled a "luxury" after what I've been through, is completely insulting tbh and enrages me. That said, I am well aware others are in worse states who are rightly prioritised for whatever crumbs are actually available, but it doesn't make it right or fair for me. Neither does it feel fair to have to continually fight for change when I've faught for so much already, and not just for myself as it happens!

I expect this will get jumped all over by those who just don't want to see or hear it, but it's cathartic to let it all out at least!

OP posts:
Beckybecbec76 · 04/06/2026 18:51

Contrarymary30 · 31/05/2026 21:05

I don't think either of those things you want to self fund are meant to be used long term . Physio can be done at home , usually you get a few sessions then exercises at home . A councillor once told me that if councilling hasn't worked after a course it's unlikely to .

Just for info, the counsellor you speak of wasn’t referring to none course based therapy. There’s a lot more to it and that’s a misleading statement

Shrinkhole · 04/06/2026 11:25

I have quoted your post where you say ‘none of these provide any type of therapy’. Now you admit that they do. I was correcting your misinformation.

Serencwtch · 04/06/2026 08:36

Shrinkhole · 03/06/2026 08:13

CMHTs and EIP teams ‘none of these provide any type of therapy’ WTAF are my psychology colleagues doing in that case I wonder. Misinformation.

Perhaps providing it to the very few people who qualify for it for a very limited amount of time?!

gopherit · 03/06/2026 19:53

Oncemorewithsome · 03/06/2026 17:08

In my area you can only get very short bursts of CBT with long waits between which isn’t going to be the right treatment for many mental health situations but particular if the OP has experienced some sort of complex trauma.

Physio you can get but there is currently an 12month waiting list… which if it’s preventing you from doing your job or caring for yourself or your family it might mean you absolutely needed to do before that.

Agreed. In fact I was hoping for a particular therapy that is available on nhs for my condition, only they assessed it would actually be re-traumatising for me and therefore wouldn't refer. It is also a postcode lottery.

The irony in my situation is a lot of my trauma is caused by the failure of services! And the fact that I have multiple conditions that in isolation are manageable, yet no support or recognition that I am struggling to manage them all AND work. This was painfully clear in my PIP application. The combined effect didn't seem to factor at all!

OP posts:
dizzydizzydizzy · 03/06/2026 17:38

Blushingm · 30/05/2026 19:21

if you’re able to work (to pay for extras) you should rather than collect UC payments

If something isn’t available on the NHS then it will be for a reason - the NHS can’t fund everything.

There are lots of fairly basic and very effective services that are very limited or not available on the NHS. Eg talking therapy. In this area, you can get 12 weeks of talking therapy and then you have to wait 3 months before you can apply again. Once you apply, there is a long wait. 12 sessions didn’t even touch the sides for me (domestic abuse, severe anxiety, chronic illness). I’ve been in therapy on and off for about 5
years, most of which I have had to pay for privately. It’s been incredibly helpful.

The NHS does not provide any support for my chronic illness. I’m too ill to work. I think it is very poor.

Oncemorewithsome · 03/06/2026 17:08

Shrinkhole · 03/06/2026 08:04

You can get both those things on the NHS and/ or in the charitable sector. What you can’t get is to choose the specific practitioner that you want. That’s a private sector luxury.

In my area you can only get very short bursts of CBT with long waits between which isn’t going to be the right treatment for many mental health situations but particular if the OP has experienced some sort of complex trauma.

Physio you can get but there is currently an 12month waiting list… which if it’s preventing you from doing your job or caring for yourself or your family it might mean you absolutely needed to do before that.

BabyFever64722 · 03/06/2026 15:32

I haven't even attempted to use the NHS since I was 19 (that's almost 20 years). I don't know anyone able to access anything on it. When you die, they'll give you some morphine, but that's about it.

The fact is, you can't afford it. Get another job or move careers. I understand you feel proud working in the charity sector but you need to take care of yourself first.

wrinklycactus · 03/06/2026 15:22

gopherit · 30/05/2026 19:16

...and the EAP at work won't provide the counselling as it's too complex 🙄

You're rolling your eyes that your third sector workplace EAP won't provide long term therapy for a complicated issue? How on earth are they supposed to fund that?

gopherit · 03/06/2026 15:21

Cosyblankets · 03/06/2026 12:21

Can you link to evidence?

It's not easy, or for general treatment, but from here:

https://www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/employment-income-manual/eim32870

In very unusual circumstances it may be possible to argue that the personal benefit of the medical expenses was merely incidental to the business purpose, see EIM31664. In these cases a deduction can be given. In Prince v Mapp (46TC169), Pennycuick J gives an example of the circumstances in which a deduction may be given:

“Someone…incurs some injury which is trivial in itself and in respect of which he would never otherwise expend money on medical care but which happens to be of vital importance for the purpose of that particular trade or profession.”

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 03/06/2026 12:21

gopherit · 03/06/2026 07:48

I actually think you can do that if it was physio for an injury that affects your work!

Can you link to evidence?

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/06/2026 10:06

@Shrinkhole oh indeed - nothing wrong at all. Was just noting that it is not only the NHS who won't fund unlimited treatment.

OurChristmasMiracle · 03/06/2026 09:49

@gopherit some therapists do have spaces for low income. My therapist did offer some session at low cost so it might be worth looking into that. I’m happy to share his details with you. (He offers both in person and online sessions)

andnowwhatdowedo · 03/06/2026 09:15

gopherit · 30/05/2026 19:31

And I wont do it for cash in hand - i have too much of a guilty conscience (blame my religious upbringing 😁). I'm just musing that more people might access the support/treatment they need if they could work extra for it.

You could ask your MP to suggest it in parliament. It's true that many people simply cannot afford to pay for treatment that is now only available privately. Your solution may not work but some solution needs finding.

Shrinkhole · 03/06/2026 09:11

Limited capacity yes. Subjective referral patterns I don’t know what that means. There are service criteria that are applied and some people do miss out or have to wait a very long time but it’s not at a CTO only level otherwise what are the CMHT psychologists doing? They do offer treatment for PTSD, OCD and depression as well as bipolar and schizophrenia which are more medication dependent in any case.

Frillysweetpea · 03/06/2026 09:06

Shrinkhole · 03/06/2026 08:11

I know what IAPT and it usually isn’t called that any longer it’s called NHS Talking Therapies these days. You are being ridiculous to suggest that community therapies in 2nd care would only be offered as ‘an alternative to admission under section’ or for people on CTO. Community mental health teams do offer longer term therapies but not ones that go on for years in an open ended fashion and not to everyone who could conceivably benefit. It is bizarre and insulting for you to suggest that a service I actually provide doesnt exist

You make a valid point but wouldn't you agree that access is limited by both subjective referral patterns of GPs and Consultants and limited capacity? I think a lot of people struggle to access what they need due to this.

Shrinkhole · 03/06/2026 08:50

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/06/2026 08:44

A lot of the time private health care won't continue to fund treatment indefinitely either. I have tendonitis my achilles tendon, it flares up sometimes as it is weak due to a rupture injury 15 years ago. I got 30 weeks of physio paid for by my private healthcare provider.

They have now cut me off as it is considered, by them, to be chronic. My only option would be to self fund single sessios, like you. I treat it myself with daily loading exercises and pilates.

And is there anything so wrong with that? They taught you tools to self manage. Having more sessions would not necessarily cure it.

This is the same with many therapies eg CBT and DBT give you tools to manage and you need to practice them and use them. You can still continue to make progress after therapy ends by doing that. The length of the course is not the time taken to be cured. More sessions will not necessarily cure a person it’s about learning and applying skills.

My (private) dentist told me that people don’t need to pay for so many hygienist appointments which are mainly a racket they need to lean the techniques and thoroughly clean their teeth themselves. It’s actually dangerous to think someone else will deep clean so I don’t have to try.

Shrinkhole · 03/06/2026 08:45

And if anyone is a therapist or a Dr who the NHS trained and now works in private practice you are part of the problem.

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/06/2026 08:44

A lot of the time private health care won't continue to fund treatment indefinitely either. I have tendonitis my achilles tendon, it flares up sometimes as it is weak due to a rupture injury 15 years ago. I got 30 weeks of physio paid for by my private healthcare provider.

They have now cut me off as it is considered, by them, to be chronic. My only option would be to self fund single sessios, like you. I treat it myself with daily loading exercises and pilates.

Shrinkhole · 03/06/2026 08:44

gopherit · 03/06/2026 08:22

@Shrinkhole I get you have to come at it from a policy perspective, but the fact of that matter (for me) is that it quite frankly sucks to be me when you're considered not cost-effective. Especially when the rest of society is so quick to believe you're just a shirker. I have always worked hard when I can.

I do have sympathy genuinely. I just have to take it from a societal perspective that if I can help a lot of people a little bit or a few people a lot I will help a lot of people a little bit and/ or at least I will try to make sure that I direct my resource to those who have greatest need and can least afford to pay. Thats why I work in the NHS exclusively shit as some people may believe it to be.

AppropriateAdult · 03/06/2026 08:36

gopherit · 30/05/2026 19:34

Perhaps everyone who needs treatment the nhs cannot provide should be able to claim tax back. I think that's what I'm saying!

Where I am (Ireland) we can claim tax back on all health expenses, and there’s tax relief on private health insurance premiums as well.

gopherit · 03/06/2026 08:22

@Shrinkhole I get you have to come at it from a policy perspective, but the fact of that matter (for me) is that it quite frankly sucks to be me when you're considered not cost-effective. Especially when the rest of society is so quick to believe you're just a shirker. I have always worked hard when I can.

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CoverLikelyZebra · 03/06/2026 08:21

I expect you will get your wish @gopherit when they actually formally dismantle the nhs and admit that they do actually believe that access to treatment should be based on wealth rather than needs. When that happens I expect that all spending on health insurance premiums and direct payments for appropriate health treatments will be tax-deductible. Yet even then there will be limits - a blanket zero-rate for spending on health is an open loophole for medical service providers to create entirely unnecessary expensive treatments solely to boost profits, so it will come down to why you aren't currently getting these treatments.

Under the current NHS system there are a lot of treatments that exist in countries that have privatised healthcare but which the NHS doesn't fund because they are scientifically unproven or the research shows that the incremental benefit that some patients report is too small to justify the cost. So if the reason you aren't getting the treatments is because NICE doesn't think they are good value for money, you may find they are also excluded from any tax-relief scheme introduced after the collapse of the NHS - but of course if they are recommended and NICE approved treatments but you aren't getting them because of staffing and capacity issues that would be different.

Shrinkhole · 03/06/2026 08:13

CMHTs and EIP teams ‘none of these provide any type of therapy’ WTAF are my psychology colleagues doing in that case I wonder. Misinformation.